movieguy

Chapter 22 of The Closing is now posted at Joseph Mens Site http://www.josephmen.com/

Triple Play Chapter 3 is now posted at the site Enjoy http://excoboard.com/exco/index.php?boardid=5252

The Ranch Chapter 6 to 10 is now link at the site under Miguel Corner http://excoboard.com/exco/index.php?boardid=5252

I know it will be a few days before you see this and i wish the timing was better but it didn't go unnotice by us here because it told us it was your birthday lol but when you get back you will know you were miss by us, until then Happy Birthday Jan

Kayden 2 Chapter 5 - Party by Ryan Keith is now up http://excoboard.com/exco/index.php?boardid=5252

Hi i corrected it, was in a hurry to type when the forum got back up, thanks and you are welcome for the mention, Joseph Men and i are good friend and he mention that you gave him space to post his poetry in the site glad you came by and come back often in case you didn't know he has a forum now at http://elitrix.net/josephmensforum/portal.php

Talon has contacted us to say he will be back after Christmas sometime and wish all a Happy Hoilday we are thinking of you Talon, take care

Not All Superheroes Are Created Equal LOS ANGELES (Wireless Flash) -- Not all superheroes are created equal. In fact, some of them can be considered super dumb concepts. That's according to Gina Miseroglu, the author of "The Superhero Book" (Visible Ink Press), an encyclopedia of comic book icons. She says there have been thousands of superheroes created for comics since the late 1930s and some have powers that are more hysterical than heroic. For example, in the 1960s, a futuristic crime-fighting team called the Legion Of Super Heroes featured a hero called "Matter Eater Lad," who had the power to eat large amounts of anything. Other not-so-super heroes in the book include.... -- A 1930s era character called "The Sandman." He didn't have any powers -- just a gas gun he used to put criminals to sleep with. -- The 1970s heroine "Disco Dazzler" was a young woman with the ability to transform sound into blinding light bursts, holographic illusions and intense laser blasts. -- Finally, Miseroglu says the dumbest idea in superhero comics are "super pets," such as Superboy's dog, "Krypto"; Batman's pet pooch, "Ace The Bat-Hound" and "Beppo The Super Monkey," a lab animal on Krypton who snuck aboard the spaceship that brought Superman to Earth. www.ncbuy.com

Drink driver locked herself in toilet A drunk Dutch driver had to be freed by the fire brigade after she locked herself in a hospital toilet to avoid a blood test. The 41-year-old woman, from Houten, was taken to hospital after she crashed her car and hurt her head, reports Laatste news. Doctors suspected she was drunk and wanted to take a blood test to check her alcohol level but the woman ran off and locked herself in a toilet. Hospital staff tried everything from talking to the woman to trying to force the door with a crowbar but without success. In the end they called the fire brigade who forced open the door and dragged the woman out. The woman finally underwent the blood test and was found to be over the limit. Police confiscated her driving license and charged her with drink driving. www.ananova.com

News of the Weird WEEK OF DECEMBER 12, 2004 LEAD STORY Despite a $7.5 million budget deficit, the city of Berkeley, Calif., bought a 40-foot-long refrigerated trailer last year for the sole purpose of storing shopping carts that had been commandeered by homeless people for their "stuff" but then abandoned. According to a November 2004 report in the San Francisco Chronicle, the city says the freezer prevents vermin infestation while authorities wait (up to 90 days) for the "owners" to reclaim their belongings. Critics of the program said the city should just confiscate the shopping carts, most of which had been stolen from merchants in the first place and almost all of which are never claimed, anyway. [san Francisco Chronicle, 11-16-04] Election Roundup In underreported November election returns: Notorious Florida radio shock jock Bubba the Love Sponge Clem lost his race for Pinellas County sheriff, and his Tampa radio competitor "Dave the Dwarf" Flood lost for a conservation-panel seat (but each got nearly 30 percent of the vote). The mayor of Arvin, Calif., Juan Olivares, was arrested the day before polls opened, charged with child molesting. (Voters ousted him.) Peter Stevenson, losing candidate for Vermont lieutenant governor, appeared at the only televised debate with a fake arrow through his head and blood on his clothes. Bruce Borders won, becoming the Indiana General Assembly's only Elvis impersonator. Losing Pennsylvania congressional candidate Arthur Farnsworth, who ran on an anti-tax platform, was arrested three days after the election for tax evasion. [st. Petersburg Times, 11-3-04] [st. Petersburg Times, 11-3-04] [st. Petersburg Times, 11-3-04] [burlington Free Press, 11-1-04] [New York Times-AP, 11-6-04] Fine Points of the Law In 1998, a New York jury said Kenneth H. Payne murdered a man, but the state's highest court set him free in October 2004, with no strings attached. The jury had convicted him of "depraved indifference" murder (rejecting "intentional" murder), but the Court of Appeals said the circumstances of the crime better fit the latter rather than the former. Noting that state prosecutors have often used "depraved indifference" as a crutch for juries that might be reluctant to call a murder "intentional," the court decided to send district attorneys a message by essentially giving Payne a free murder. [New York Times, 10-20-04; Journal News (Westchester County, N.Y.), 11-29-04] More Scenes of the Surreal (1) According to an October Reuters dispatch, Afghan women are being vigorously recruited for the police force even though there are still no female uniforms, and the crews being trained by the United States wear their everyday jewelry, accessories, stockings, high heels and brightly colored head scarves (but still appeared to be highly motivated). (2) The U.S. Forest Service, acting under its new policy of directly billing culpable parties for firefighting costs, said in October that it was preparing to send Ryan Unger, 18, of Wenatchee, Wash., an invoice for $10 million for his having started the August fires in central Washington. [Reuters, 10-4-04] [Associated Press, 10-11-04] Government in Action # Public Servant: The school superintendent of Beverly, Mass., William H. Lupini, decided to leave that $130,000-a-year job in May and take the $148,000-a-year job as school superintendent in Brookline, Mass. However, since Brookline's school year did not start until July, and since Lupini perhaps felt there were no other "school superintendent" jobs available covering the interim month of June, he applied for $2,332 in unemployment compensation for that month, as reported in the Beverly Citizen newspaper. [beverly Citizen, 9-9-04] # The Chicago Sun-Times reported in November that Illinois officials had decided to spend $115,000 in federal money to distribute 2.4 million condoms to help reduce sexually transmitted diseases among the young, but also concluded that the young might need special incentives to actually use the condoms. Consequently, bureaucrats decided that 900,000 would be in colors (orange, green, red or blue) and that 300,000 others would be flavored (orange, lemon, grape, cherry), to encourage their use in oral sex. State Sen. Steve Rauschenberger objected to the distribution of what he called "French ticklers" and suggested that all condoms should be "army green, utilitarian, low-priced." (Update: Gov. Rod Blagojevich subsequently eliminated the colors/flavors option.) [Chicago Sun-Times, 11-1-04] # In November, the Federation of American Scientists revealed the existence of a recent U.S. Air Force-paid study of psychic teleportation prepared by true-believing Nevada physicist Eric Davis, who wrote that moving oneself from location to location through mind powers is "quite real and can be controlled." An Air Force Research Lab spokesman defended his agency's use of UFO and spoon-bending reports and Soviet and Chinese studies of psychics, telling USA Today, "If we don't turn over stones, we don't know if we have missed something." [uSA Today, 11-5-04] # Three of the five National Transportation Safety Board members criticized a fourth, the chairman, in a personal letter obtained by the St. Petersburg Times in September. According to the letter, Chairman Ellen Engleman Conners was getting too political (the board is supposedly nonpartisan) and too controlling (the board is traditionally quite collegial), and the Times reported that members and staffers had complained privately that Engleman Conners would sometimes call them in advance of public meetings to negotiate clothing, in order to discourage outfits that would clash with her own. [st. Petersburg Times, 9-17-04] People With Issues In October, prominent Albany, N.Y., pediatric neurologist Phillip Riback was sentenced to 48 years in prison after his conviction on 28 sexual-abuse counts against 12 boys, but he continued to insist that his actions were simply "misconstrued," disputing testimony not only that he touched the boys inappropriately but that he had them spit on his face and into his mouth. Riback's lawyer said his client suffers from a disorder that makes socializing difficult: "He has a pattern of quirky, entertaining behavior as a way of relating that simply goes too far." [Times Union (Albany), 10-8-04] Least Competent Criminals In addition to his poor performance on a field sobriety test, the chief evidence that Frank Hersha, 28, was driving drunk in Manchester, Conn., in October was that police spotted him trying to order from the drive-thru window of a local restaurant that was obviously closed. And in Watertown, Mass., a playful Kudzai Kwenda, 23, accidentally locked handcuffs on his wrist at home in October, and figured they would know how to get them off at the local police station, but shortly after arrival, he was jailed because he had apparently forgotten there was an arrest warrant out against him. [Hartford Courant, 10-21-04] [boston Herald, 10-15-04] Recurring Themes Two months ago, News of the Weird reported on computer technology that would permit quasi-insertive sexual intercourse by a remote user (the Sinulator). In just a short step from that, hunter John Underwood announced in November that he had set up the equipment for "hunters" to fire a rifle over the Internet at deer, antelope and wild pigs on his 330-acre ranch near San Antonio, Texas (but opposition is mounting, and state regulators may step in, although current law is said to be written in a way that could not cover Internet hunting). Underwood would provide animal retrieval and shipping services, and said his business would be especially valuable for disabled sportsmen. [Reuters, 11-17-04] Readers' Choice Karen Stolzmann, 44, was arrested in October in Portage, Wis., and charged with possession of stolen property, specifically, her long-dead boyfriend's ashes, which police say she dug up more than 10 years ago, perhaps to taunt his family, with whom she never got along. Other items that had been buried with him were found in her possession, and authorities speculate that the beer the family buried as tribute had long since been drunk by Stolzmann. (The couple reportedly had a stormy relationship, and the family believes she provoked his suicide.) [Portage Daily Register, 10-28-04] More Things to Worry About (1) A journal study by Maastricht University in The Netherlands concluded that even the air quality alongside major highways is not as dangerous as the air inside the typical church (with candles, incense and poor ventilation). (2) A Junction City, Ore., high school student was arrested after he and a pal allegedly distributed a DVD they had made, complete with rap-music sound track, of them beating up a classmate they had selected at random. [bBC News, 11-20-04] [Northwest Cable News (Seattle)-AP, 11-9-04] Thanks This Week to Tom Barker, Michael Ravnitzky, Lawrence DeMott, Carl Sample, Phillip Urban, Danny Howell, Ken Berkun, and Perry Pederson, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors. (Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNews@earthlink.net or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.) COPYRIGHT 2004 CHUCK SHEPHERD

Chapter Three of The Power Within by Dewey is posted at http://www.deweywriter.com/

Germany's smelly Xmas cards Germany's post office is giving away millions of free scented stickers this year to make Christmas cards smell of honey and fir trees. Recipients have to rub the stickers to release the smell from the stickers. The post office began giving away the selection of stickers this week in its shops and delivered 20 million sets free to German households as a promotional campaign to prove that letters can do something emails cannot. The six available coloured stickers show and smell of a Christmas tree, cinnamon, gingerbread biscuits, a honey-wax candle, a baked apple and an orange. www.ananova.com

`Smelly Holidays' CD A Real Gas LOS ANGELES (Wireless Flash) -- If you think Christmas time stinks, a new CD of farts might just be for you. A new musical CD called "Pull My Finger Volume 3: Smelly Holidays" has just been released on pullmyfinger.com and is a compilation of classic holiday air biscuit arias. Creator Richard Halpern says the festive flatulent songs are 100 percent real created by people who stepped up to a microphone after eating Brussels sprouts and beans. Halpern's previous fart and belching music CDs combined have sold more than 200,000 copies, and he believes it's because "people universally think farts are funny." While some think farting appeals to only the lowest common denominator, Halpern says just play a fart sound while watching George W. Bush deliver a speech and "no one can withstand the power of flatulence." www.ncbuy.com

Around The Weird: Bizarre News Briefs BOSTON (Wireless Flash) -- The city of Boston is giving parking violators a chance to pay tickets with toys instead of money. The "Boston Herald" reports that anyone who received a parking ticket on Dec. 1, 2, or 3 can settle their debt with toys with a value equal or greater than their tickets. The toys will go to the U.S. Marine Corps Toys for Tots. The offer ends today (Dec. 10) and a sales receipt is required for proof of value. ENTERPRISE, Fla. -- A couple in Florida is pitching a tent as well as a fit because of their kids. Cat and Harlan Barnard moved out of their house this week and set up a domed tent in their front driveway, and are refusing to cook, clean or drive for their two children until the brats shape up. The couple says they have tried "everything," including reverse psychology to get their 17-year-old boy and 12-year-old girl to be more responsible. The Barnards say they will continue their strike until they see some changes. ATLANTA -- Christmas trees bring holiday cheer, but they also bring many to the hospital. According to a new study by the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 5,800 Americans are expected to be treated in emergency rooms for falls that occur when putting decorations on Christmas trees. The majority of falls in the past have occurred among those between the ages of 20 and 49 while men are 40 percent more likely to suffer such an injury. BURLINGTON, Iowa -- An Iowa psychiatrist has been fined $250 for allegedly paying a parking ticket with dollar bills smeared with excrement. Ronald Preston McPike was charged with harassment of a public official for the foreign brown substance on the bills. McPike's defense was that the money fell into the toilet and retrieved before he used it to pay the fine. www.ncbuy.com

The Ranch Chapter 1 to 5 are now links at the site under Julio By Miguel http://excoboard.com/exco/index.php?boardid=5252

Around The Weird: Bizarre News Briefs NEW YORK (Wireless Flash) -- If you're waiting until the last minute to Christmas shop you're not alone. According to a survey by Suave hand lotion, 22 percent of men wait until Christmas Eve to shop, as do 13 percent of women. HACKETTSTOWN, N.J. -- M&M lovers who get tongue-tied can now have messages printed on their candies. The company says it can print just about any two-line, 16-character message on the treats such as "I Love Grandpa" or "Go Team!" on 21 different colored M&Ms. The candy-maker offers the service at mms.com PHILADELPHIA -- The city of brotherly love is giving no love to little moviegoers. A Philadelphia city councilman has proposed legislation that would prevent parents from bringing any child under six to a movie theater after 7 p.m. unless they're seeing a G-rated movie. Under the bill, parents would be fined $50 and movie theaters $300. Kenney's spokesman tells the "Philadelphia Business Journal," "I think anybody who went to see "Spider-Man" at 9 at night and had a screaming baby next to them can appreciate why this bill should be looked at." BERLIN -- The purring under the hood of a German couple's car wasn't that of the engine -- it was coming from a cat. According to the "Bonn" newspaper, Elisabeth and Dieter Gesehl found a six-week-old kitten cowering next to the engine of their car after hearing the meows of the furry creature when they parked following a 275 mile journey. The couple doesn't know how the cat got there, but have since adopted it and named it "Pussy." www.ncbuy.com

Around The Weird: Bizarre News Briefs BOGOTA, Columbia (Wireless Flash) -- After telling jokes for 65 hours straight, a Colombian comic has set a new world record. According to the "Prensa" newspaper, Jose Ordonez told 9000 jokes during his marathon yuk-fest on a Bogota radio station. MILAN, Italy -- Italian fireman recently had to rescue a man who got stuck in a tree because he thinks he is a cat. The 46-year-old spent more than an hour meowing from the top of a tree before spectators called in help. The Tgcom.it news website reports a fireman finally carried the cat man down a ladder to safety, and the man is now under observation in a psychiatric hospital. SEOUL -- The South Korean government has scrapped plans to replace the English word for "condom" with a Korean one after receiving numerous complaints from people with similar sounding characters in their names. The suggested new word for condom "ae-pil" -- derived from the Chinese characters for love and necessity -- was picked from 19,000 suggestions sent in by the public. A government spokesman tells AP, "An old lady called to complain, saying she was worried about her grandson being teased due to his name being "condom.""

Turkey and Potato Salad 2 cups cooked, diced turkey 2 stalks celery, chopped 2/3 cup diced water chestnuts 3 green onions, cut up 2 red potatoes, cooked and cut into cubes 1 cup lowfat plain yogurt, (or light or fat free mayonnaise) 2 tablespoons parsley flakes (or to taste) 2 teaspoons dill weed (or to taste) pepper to taste Lightly mix the turkey, celery, water chestnuts, onions, potatoes, parsley and dill. Add the yogurt or mayo and mix. Add pepper to taste. Serve with a roll or on a bed of lettuce with bean sprouts.

Rudolph's Cookie Kisses Ingredients: 1 cup softened margarine 1 teaspoon vanilla 2/3 cup sugar 1 2/3 cup flour 1/4 cup cocoa 1 bag (9 oz) chocolate kisses Beat margarine, sugar & vanilla until it is creamy. In separate bowl, stir together flour and cocoa. Blend into other mixture, mixing well. Refrigerate for about 1 hour or until dough is easy to handle. Mold scant tablespoon dough around each kiss, covering completely. Shape into balls, then bake on cookie sheet for 10 to 12 minutes or until set. Cool, then roll in powdered sugar. Makes 4 1/2 dozen. Rudolf1

Man Admits to Vaseline Vandalism in N.Y. By Associated Press December 7, 2004, 1:17 PM EST BINGHAMTON, N.Y. -- A Virginia man admitted Monday to smearing 14 jars of petroleum jelly all over an upstate New York motel room. Robert F. Chamberlain, 45, of McLean, gave no reason for his actions when he appeared in court to plead guilty to a misdemeanor charge of criminal mischief. A Broome County judge sentenced Chamberlain to three years of probation and ordered him to pay $3,886 in damages to the Motel 6 in Chenango. Authorities said Chamberlain coated every object of the motel room with petroleum jelly in May. A cleaning crew discovered the mess after he checked out, and he was arrested at another motel covered in the greasy stuff. Chamberlain declined comment after the proceedings. Copyright © 2004, The Associated Press www.newsday.com

Around The Weird: Bizarre News Briefs BERN, Switzerland (Wireless Flash) -- A professional soccer player from Switzerland has lost his finger after celebrating a goal a little too enthusiastically. The "Guardian" reports that Paulo Diogo severed the top two joints in his left ring finger and was forced to have the digit amputated after catching his wedding ring on a metal barrier that he jumped on while celebrating the team's third goal in a 4-1 win. BEJING -- Callers of a suicide hotline in China are being told to wait. The "China Daily" newspaper reports that nine out of 10 callers to the Bejing Suicide Research and Prevention Center's hotline have received a busy signal since it started last year. A shortage of funds is being blamed for the hotline problems. Experts estimate four people commit suicide every minute in China. DENVER, Colo. -- The library system in Douglas County, Colorado, is using dogs to get kids to read. As part of a new program called Bark for Books, kids get to read aloud to canines to hone their literacy skills. A spokeswoman for the program tells "The Denver Post," "We're finding that even kids who have trouble reading love reading to a dog." www.ncbuy.com

Policeman drove wrong way down motorway An Italian policeman who was arrested after driving almost 20 miles the wrong way down a busy motorway said he thought everyone else was going the wrong way. The 23-year-old officer, who has not been named, admitted he had been drinking but had believed everyone else was in the wrong when he turned onto the Autostrada del Sole, between Florence and Rome. Traffic police who were informed of the drunken driver by alarmed motorists only managed to stop him by blocking the road with sandbags. He was slightly injured in the collision but not enough to stop him being arrested. He told fellow officers that he had begun drinking because of problems with his love life www.ananova.com

Chapter 21 of The Closing is now posted by Joseph Mens http://jpoet.4t.com/

News of the Weird (.878) WEEK OF DECEMBER 5, 2004 LEAD STORY Eccentric British rock musician Genesis P-Orridge (born Neil Megson) and his wife and partner, Lady Jaye Breyer, are gradually transforming themselves surgically into gender-neutral human beings ("pandrogynous") resembling each other, so that eventually they will be indistinguishable, to demonstrate how overrated gender is as a point of reference. (For example, he wore a lace dress at their wedding, and she dressed as a biker guy, with moustache, and for Valentine's Day 2003, each got breast implants.) P-Orridge told SF Weekly in October that their goal is to jointly become a third person, distinct from either of them. [sF Weekly, 10-27-04] More Scenes of the Surreal (1) Katherine Williams was kicked out of the public library's community flea market in Spring Hill, Tenn., in October because she offered for sale a yellow duck-shaped bath sponge, larger than a football, that happened to vibrate (to the delight of her child, she said); city officials (who were apparently focused on the word "vibrate") concluded that it must be a sex toy and said her booth violated the town's adult-business law. (2) Archaeologists excitedly announced in October that in examining ruins on the Wittenberg, Germany, property of 16th-century philosopher Martin Luther, they discovered the actual stone toilet on which he composed the manifesto that launched the Protestant Revolution. (Luther suffered chronic constipation and thus spent much of his days on the toilet.) [Tennessean, 10-23-04] [Chicago Sun-Times, 10-22-04] Things People Believe In November, former mayor Diana Cortez of La Grulla, Texas, and the town's former bookkeeper pleaded guilty to taking $53,700 in federal community grant money and spending it all on psychic consultations. And in August, the St. Louis (Mo.) Regional Chamber and Growth Association fired psychic David Levin after seven years' service, during which time it paid him $1.4 million in fees and expenses. Levin's business card read "executive coach," and the association president admitted Levin had "uncanny" abilities, but Levin prominently attributed his astuteness to his spiritual powers, which he said he has in common with his wife and 15-year-old son. [Valley Morning Star (Harlingen, Texas), 9-1-04] [Associated Press, 8-26-04] Life Is Too Long # Showstopping designs for women during October's Fashion Week in Paris this year included (according to a report in London's Daily Mirror) a formal, plastic, nearly transparent bag, about 3 feet by 4 feet, designed to be worn over the head (from Dutch designers Viktor and Rolf); a set of deluxe armor plates resembling football shoulder pads (and helmet) (from Alexander McQueen); and an outfit seemingly consisting of more than a dozen foot-long black tied bows extending from the shoulders to below the waist (Viktor and Rolf). [Daily Mirror (London), 10-11-04] # Mr. Ilker Yilmaz, 28, of Istanbul, inspired to bring pride to Turkey by achieving a Guinness Book world record, decided to challenge Canadian Mark Moraal's 8.7-foot mark for squirting milk out of his eye. In October, exploiting what he called an anomaly in his tear gland, he sucked milk up his nose and pinched it 9.223 feet out of an eye socket in front of several witnesses and is now awaiting official recognition. [Associated Press, 10-4-04] The Continuing Crisis # In one of the stark reminders of regional language variations in the United States, a game resembling horseshoes is fast becoming a pastime in the Midwest that likely would not be so popular under the same name in the South. In this game, contestants throw beanbag-like bags of corn toward a platform that has a hole in the center, trying to score points (in the hole, or on the platform, or knocking your opponents' bag off the platform). Some refer to the game as Corn Toss, but the more popular name, according to a September report in the Columbus (Ohio) Dispatch, is Cornhole. [Columbus Dispatch, 9-18-04] # Included among "weapons" allegedly found on inmates at the Grafton prison in Australia, reported in September in Brisbane's Courier-Mail, were four venomous redback spiders that an inmate said were "pets" that were regularly "milked" of venom by inmates in order to produce a toxin that they could inject, to help them get high. [Courier-Mail (Brisbane), 9-7-04] The Laws of Irony Are Strictly Enforced (1) Friends tried to persuade a 37-year-old man at a party near Greenville, Mich., in September that he was too drunk to drive home safely, but the man became enraged; in the ensuing brawl, the man was clubbed in the head with a flashlight and died. (2) Parent Deborah Meister, 46, was charged with assault in Anchorage, Alaska, in September following a public meeting on school policies at Central Middle School; according to police, Meister roughed up an assistant principal because she thought he had been too cavalier about the problem of student bullying. [Muskegon Chronicle, 9-22-04] [Anchorage Daily News, 9-16-04] Creme de la Weird Among the unsuccessful 2004 write-in presidential candidates (according to a November report on NJ.com): Jack Grimes of Maryland, who admires the leadership methodology of Saddam Hussein but would rely on telepathy and astrology to make tough presidential decisions; Sterling Allan of Utah, who alphabetized and then numbered every word in the Bible and said that the codes he produced told him to return the United States to the gold standard, among other insights; and Randy Crow of North Carolina, who says that despite a government-implanted chip in his brain, his administration would crush the "Omega Agency," which steals from people, which staged the Sept. 11 attacks, and which may have the ability to vaporize everyone. [NJ.com, 9-1-04] Least Competent Criminal It was one of the classics, but it happened anew, in Bloomington, Ill., in October. Donald R. Hilger was arrested and charged with robbing 11 local businesses over the previous two weeks. He was picked up shortly after a robbery of a Jewel/Osco store, and police brought two of that robbery's witnesses by the arrest scene to see if they could identify him. According to police, however, as soon as the employees spotted Hilger, Hilger pointed at one of them and blurted out, "That's the one I robbed." [Pantagraph (Bloomington), 10-15-04] Recurring Themes A 47-year-old tribesman from Vietnam, who had relocated to a U.S. government-sponsored Montagnard community in North Carolina to escape persecution, got homesick and headed back to Vietnam in September. However, he lost his papers and is now stranded at Los Angeles International Airport because no country will issue him a visa, in a dilemma reminiscent of that of Merhan "Alfred" Nasseri, who has been chronicled several times in News of the Weird since 1988 (and in the recent movie "The Terminal") and who remains at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris. The tribesman is convinced that his only chance of repatriation will be lost if he leaves the airport, but at press time, he was continuing to examine options while making his home in an airport chair. [Washington Post, 10-19-04] Readers' Choice Robbers stole $70,000 from the Lucky Dollar Casino in Greensburg, La., in November, and, acting on a deal-seeking tip from one of the robbers, police checked a creek near Baton Rouge, where two of the three moneybags were recovered. A search downstream turned up the third, which had been carried away by beavers and used in the construction of their dam, with apparently all of the money still inside. Jacqueline Wall, 25, was charged, and at least one other arrest was expected. [Associated Press, 11-15-04] More Incompetent Criminals Joel Crytzer, 63, was charged with marijuana possession in November in Butler, Pa., when officers spotted some on the floor of his car, which they had stopped because Crytzer had been cruising down the road, seemingly oblivious of the fact that his car had only three tires. And Kevin Martzett, 39, was charged with robbery in Cass County, Neb.; according to police, besides taking money from the victim, he also forced the victim to cash a $75 government check made out to "Kevin Martzett." [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 11-19-04] [Associated Press, 11-19-04] Thanks This Week to Bea Westrate, Mike Mendenhall, Mindy Cohen, David Gregory, James Rader, Nancy Sweeney, Laurence Polk, Jan Wolitzky, David Sarnacki, Gil Nelson, Matthew Phipps, Kevin Braasch, Brian Bjolin, and Laura Pavelko (and lots of Readers' Choice finders), and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors. (Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNews@earthlink.net or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.) COPYRIGHT 2004 CHUCK SHEPHERD