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  1. Cipel: McGreevey Lied by The Associated Press Posted: December 1, 2006 11:00 am ET (Trenton, New Jersey) The man former New Jersey Gov. James E. McGreevey identified as his gay lover said Thursday he believes McGreevey is not gay. Appearing on "Larry King Live," Golan Cipel, an Israeli citizen hired by McGreevey first as a campaign aide and later as his homeland security adviser, said that McGreevey's 2004 resignation speech admission that he is "a gay American" was "part of the spin." Through lawyers, Cipel had threatened to sue McGreevey for sexual harassment shortly before and after McGreevey's resignation. A lawsuit was never filed. "I think McGreevey had no choice. There was a sexual harassment lawsuit against him. And he didn't know what to do, and his advisers told him, 'come out first,' and he would be perceived as the victim" and thereby gain control of the story, Cipel said. While he said McGreevey did make sexual advances toward him on several occasions, Cipel said the former governor also frequently spoke about heterosexual encounters, including sex with prostitutes on trips to Germany and the Dominican Republic. "I believe that Jim McGreevey is bisexual," Cipel said. Cipel, 37, in his first extended national television interview since the publication in September of McGreevey's memoir, "The Confession," also urged the gay community "not to embrace McGreevey," saying the former governor committed sexual harassment against him and others. Cipel, who has repeatedly denied being gay, again insisted that McGreevey's often graphic portrayal of their relationship in the book is untrue. In the book, McGreevey, 49, writes that he was forced to resign after Cipel threatened to reveal his homosexuality unless he was paid millions to keep quiet. McGreevey released a statement Thursday night saying, "I stand behind the truth and accuracy of every word in this book." He said he and Cipel had a consensual relationship that lasted for months. "My only wish for Golan is that he find peace and acceptance in his life," McGreevey said in the statement. McGreevey now works as an educational consultant and a childhood anti-poverty advocate, and lives in Plainfield, N.J., with his partner, Mark O'Donnell. Cipel has been living in Israel. ©365Gay.com 2006 links
  2. 'Twas Assembly Before Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse. Instructions were studied and we were inspired, In hopes we could manage "Some Assembly Required." The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds, While Dad and I faced the evening with dread: A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot! And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot! We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat.... Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete! Too late for last-minute returns or replacement; If we can't get it right, it goes in the basement! When what to my worrying eyes should appear, But 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear, With each part numbered and every slot named, So if we failed, only we could be blamed. More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out, All over the carpet they were scattered about. "Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there! Slide on the seats, and staple the stair! Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand." "Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand." And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact That all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night With "assembly required" till morning's first light. We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work, Till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt. The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin Before we attached the last rod and last pin. Then laying the tools away in the chest, We fell into bed for a well-deserved rest. But I said to my husband just before I passed out, "This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt. Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring, And not have to run to the store for a thing! We did it! We did it! The toys are all set For the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!" Then off to dreamland and sweet repose I gratefully went, Though I suppose there's something to say for those self-deluded; I'd forgotten that batteries are never included!
  3. Blonde Christmas There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
  4. Christmas Bone-In Ham Cooked in Beer INGREDIENTS: 20 pounds bone-in ham 1 (20 ounce) can sliced pineapple 2 (12 fluid ounce) cans beer Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Grease an 18 quart roasting pan. Place the ham, with the fattier side up, in the roaster. Use toothpicks to secure pineapple rings on the ham. Pour the beer over the ham. Place lid on roasting pan. Bake 6 to 8 hours, or until cooked through. Remove the pineapple rings and let sit 15 minutes before slicing.
  5. Mrs. Claus's Cheesy Sweet and Savory Spuds INGREDIENTS: 6 Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and cubed 2 sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed 2 tablespoons butter 1/2 cup heavy cream 1 tablespoon chicken bouillon granules 1 2/3 tablespoons brown sugar 2 teaspoons black pepper 2 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese DIRECTIONS: Place the potatoes and sweet potatoes in a large pot with enough water to cover. Bring to a boil. Cook about 15 minutes, until tender but firm. Remove from heat, and drain. Preheat the oven broiler. In a large bowl, mash the potatoes. Gradually mix in butter, heavy cream, chicken bouillon, brown sugar, and pepper. Transfer the mixture to a medium baking dish, and top with Monterey Jack cheese. Broil uncovered in the preheated oven 10 minutes, or until the cheese is melted and lightly browned.
  6. Judge Drops Charges In Frat House Brokeback Hazing Case by 365Gay.com Newscenter Staff Posted: November 29, 2006 3:00 pm ET (Burlington, Vermont) A judge has dismissed charges against four University of Vermont students accused of violating the state's anti-hazing law when they participated in a frat house event where pledges were made to dress up as gay cowboys. It was the first time charges had been laid under the law passed in 2000. University officials say they may ask the district attorney's office to appeal the ruling. Judge Charon True found that the prosecution had failed to show that the incident constituted hazing as it is defined in the law or that the alleged incident had harmed students. The university said it will continue with its own investigation and disciplinary action. The fraternity, Phi Delta Gamma chapter has bee suspended. The incident occurred in March. Fraternity members required pledges to wear cowboy clothes in a theme inspired by the movie "Brokeback Mountain." Pledges then allegedly were taunted with homophobic comments. Four students, all members of the fraternity and all 21 at the time, were charged and given tickets in May. Had they been convicted they would have faced fines of up to $1000. One pledge told police that he was offended by the theme of the event, "but went along with it". Others at the party said they heard frat members call the pledges "fag" and "faggot." While the university continues its own probe and considers asking for an appeal a lawyer for three of the students said his clients are considering a defamation suit against the school. ©365Gay.com 2006 links
  7. LA Cop Sues Force Charging Gay Officers Discriminated Against Her by 365Gay.com Newscenter Staff Posted: November 28, 2006 9:00 pm ET (Los Angeles, California) A former Los Angeles police officer has filed a lawsuit alleging she was discriminated against by fellow officers because she is straight. Cindy S. Perez was terminated by the force in 2005 after she was accused of pointing her gun at an officer she was training in 2003. Perez' lawsuit alleges the charges against her were false and that she was accused by a lesbian lieutenant and a male sergeant. In court papers obtained by KCAL television Perez alleges that she was targeted by gay and lesbian officers at the LADP Pacific Division. "(Perez) was aware that LAPD's Pacific Division was and had been a lesbian-friendly environment and had treated non-lesbian females differently," KCAL quotes the lawsuit as stating. The suit says that heterosexual female officers at the division were targeted for harassment and negative employment actions and were not given the same opportunities as lesbians. Perez says in the suit that her problems at the division began after she filed a misconduct complaint against a lesbian sergeant. The suit claims the sergeant had a history of sex discrimination complaints against her. The lawsuit says that after she filed the complaint she was ostracized and harassed. The LAPD has declined to publicly comment on the suit while it is before the court. ©365Gay.com 2006 links
  8. One winter morning a couple was listening to the radio over breakfast. They hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today You must park ." Then the power goes out. Norman's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?" With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Norman says "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."
  9. Ex Gay Hustler Elected To Canadian Parliament by The Canadian Press Posted: November 28, 2006 12:01 am ET (London, Ontario) The Liberals fended off a surprising Green party charge to win the federal byelection in London North Centre on Monday night. In the Montreal-area riding of Repentigny, the Bloc Quebecois cruised to an easy victory. The results were another blow for Prime Minister Stephen Harper on a day when he lost a cabinet minister over his motion to declare the Quebecois a nation. Tory vote totals were off in London and unchanged in Repentigny, despite the nation motion which was supposed to boost Tory fortunes in Quebec. In London, Liberal Glen Pearson took just over a third of the vote to stave off Elizabeth May, leader of the Green party, who finished second in a bid to win her party's first seat in the Commons. She took five times the vote that the Greens got last January and siphoned votes from all the other parties in fashioning her strong challenge. The Conservatives and the NDP were well back in the riding, which has been a Liberal seat for two decades. In Repentigny, Raymond Gravel, who went from gay hustler to Roman Catholic priest, carried the Bloc to an unsurprising win in a seat where the party took 62 per cent of the vote last time out. He had more than two thirds of the vote as he built a three-to-one lead over Conservative candidate Stephane Bourgon. Repentigny came open after Bloc MP Benoit Sauvageau died in a traffic accident in August. The London seat was left vacant after Liberal Joe Fontana resigned to make a failed bid to become the city's mayor. While Pearson celebrated holding a Liberal seat, May could look on a moral victory. Her showing likely sent a chill through the New Democrats, whose vote was down more than a third from the totals they amassed in January. Conservative challenger Dianne Haskett, a controversial former mayor who was once chastised by the Ontario Human Rights Commission for refusing to declare a gay pride event in London, got about a quarter of the vote. In last January's election, the Conservatives took just under 30 per cent. ©365Gay.com 2006 links
  10. Gay Mega Church Boosts United Church Of Christ Membership In The South by The Associated Press Posted: November 25, 2006 4:00 pm ET (Dallas, Texas) The acceptance of a predominantly gay Dallas megachurch into the United Church of Christ means that about a quarter of the mainline denomination's members in Texas and Louisiana attend the same church. The North Texas Association of the Cleveland, Ohio-based UCC voted 32-9 last month to admit the 4,300-member Cathedral of Hope after a yearlong courtship. (story) The cathedral bills itself as "the world's largest liberal Christian church with a primary outreach to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people." The cathedral, which became the fourth largest church in the denomination, was spurred to affiliate with the UCC after its controversial decision last year to endorse gay marriage. It is the largest Christian denomination to do so. "They are a progressive denomination, and they have taken progressive stands all along," said the Rev. Michael S. Piazza, the cathedral's national pastor and dean. "When they took that vote, it really made it clear that was our home." About 140 churches in the 5,700-church denomination left the UCC. The Puerto Rico conference of the denomination, which has about 60 churches, also has decided to depart, though some individual churches may stay, said the Rev. Bennett Guess, UCC spokesman. That number has been partially offset by 65 churches that have expressed interest in joining, the most since the UCC was formed in 1957 by the union of the Congregational Christian Churches in America and the Evangelical and Reformed Church. The Cathedral of Hope is part of a "continuing drumbeat of new churches" since the denomination's rule-making body overwhelmingly approved a resolution in July 2005 endorsing same-sex marriage, Guess said. "The future of the UCC is much brighter because they are on the right side of history," Piazza said. "The future generation has no homophobia. They won't tolerate people who won't accept their family and friends." In the early 1970s, the 1.3 million-member UCC became the first major Christian church to ordain an openly gay minister. The church declared itself to be "open and affirming" of gays and lesbians 20 years ago. "The UCC is clearly going after a certain niche in American society who are very liberal and have a particular religious vision that includes inclusiveness," said John Evans, associate professor of sociology at University of California, San Diego. "They are becoming the religious brand that is known for this." The long-term effects of that strategy remain to be seen, Evans added. Eighty percent of the Protestant denomination's members live in the Northeast or industrial Midwest, but it seems to be making increased inroads as an alternative in the South, where conservative evangelical churches dominate. Four years ago, the 5,500-member Victory Church in Stone Mountain, Ga., became the UCC's second largest church. Before the Dallas cathedral's application was approved, the denomination had only 13,648 members and 85 churches in Texas and Louisiana. "I hope that we help initiate a dialogue about what it means to be a vitally alive, vibrant congregation in terms of worship and vision. I think that's a direction the UCC is seeking to go," said the Rev. Jo Hudson, senior pastor of the cathedral, which gives away $1 million a year in community assistance. The cathedral separated from the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches in 2003 after a dispute regarding Piazza's financial management. The congregation voted a year ago to seek affiliation with the UCC, although ties with the denomination go further back. Piazza said a 1997 congregational vote authorized exploration of denominational affiliation with the UCC. But the potential union met obstacles including a resolution preventing the North Texas association from "knowingly" ordaining gay or lesbian ministers. The resolution has since been repealed. Times have changed, said John Vigus, the association's parliamentarian. "I think people have more of any understanding that instead of condemnation of one's lifestyle, that maybe we don't agree with them, maybe we wouldn't live the gay lifestyle ourselves, but we shouldn't be condemning it," he said. "Maybe that was wrong. We've been doing it in the past, but maybe we were wrong." ©365Gay.com 2006 links
  11. New Christian Coalition Leader Quits In Dispute Over, Gays, Abortion by The Associated Press Posted: November 24, 2006 7:00 pm ET (Orlando, Florida) The minister elected to take over as president of the Christian Coalition of America said he will not assume the role because of differences in philosophy. The Rev. Joel Hunter, of Longwood's Northland, A Church Distributed, said on Wednesday that the national group would not let him expand the organization's agenda beyond opposing abortion and gay marriage. This is the latest setback for the group founded in 1989 by the Rev. Pat Robertson. Four states - Georgia, Alabama, Iowa and Ohio - have decided to split from the group over concerns it's changing direction on issues like the minimum wage, the environment and Internet law instead of core issues like abortion and same-sex marriage. Hunter, who was scheduled to take over the socially conservative political group Jan. 1, said he had hoped to focus on issues such as poverty and the environment. "These are issues that Jesus would want us to care about," Hunter said. He resigned on Tuesday during an organization board meeting. Hunter said he was not asked to leave. "They pretty much said, 'These issues are fine, but they're not our issues; that's not our base,' " Hunter said. A statement issued by the coalition said Hunter resigned because of "differences in philosophy and vision." The board accepted his decision unanimously, it states. The organization, headed by President Roberta Combs, claims a mailing list of 2.5 million. "To tell you the truth, I feel like there are literally millions of evangelical Christians that don't have a home right now," Hunter said. ©365Gay.com 2006 links
  12. Zac and Kayden by Ryan Keith Chapter 2 - The Eyes of a Demon is now up at http://excoboard.com/exco/index.php?boardid=5252 and at the mail crew http://www.themailcrew.com/
  13. Yummy Hot Fudge Pudding Ingredients: * 1 cup sifted flour * 2 tsp baking powder * 1/2 tsp. salt * 3/4 cup sugar * 1/2 cup milk * 2 tbsp. melted butter * 1/2 cup nuts * 1 sq. melted choc. or 2 tbsp. coca Sift flour, baking powder, salt, sugar, and cocoa together into bowl. Stir in milk and butter. Blend in nuts. Spread in 9 x 9 inch pan. Sprinkle batter with 1/2 cup sugar and 1/2 cup brown sugar and 4 tbs. coca. Pour 1 cup water over top. Bake at 350 F for 40 min. During baking cake rises and chocolate sauce settles to bottom. Serve with ice cream.
  14. Gingerbread Biscuits Ingredients * 150g butter * 3 level tablespoons golden syrup * 3/4 cup caster sugar * 2 cups plain flour and 1 cup self-raising flour * 1 level teaspoon bicarbonate soda * 1 level teaspoon each of ground cinnamon and ground ginger * 1/2 level teaspoon ground cloves * pinch finely ground cardamom (optional) * 1 egg and 1 egg yolk (save the left-over egg white for Royal Icing - recipe below) * 1 teaspoon vanilla essence Method Put butter, golden syrup and sugar into a saucepan, beat to dissolve, then cool to lukewarm. Sift plain flour, SR flour, soda and spices intoa mixing bowl. Make a well in the middle. Add egg, egg yolk, vanilla and warm syrup mixture. Mix thoroughly. Take about 1/3 of the mixture at a time and knead lightly using a little flour (not too much flour) then roll out onto a lightly floured surface. Cut out with Christmas cutters - hearts, stars, angels, sheep).Place on greased baking trays lined with baking paper and bake in a moderate oven (180 to 190 degrees Celsius) for 8 to 10 minutes. Watch carefully, as they burn quickly after this time, and if overcooked the flavour will be spoilt. Remove from trays and cool. Store in an airtight container. Serve them perfectly plain or decorate with Royal Icing. These biscuits keep for weeks and weeks in an airtight container. They're delicious with coffee or icecream and especially popular with young children. The recipe makes about 30 gingerbread people or 50 to 60 small hearts or stars.
  15. I been lacking lately. let me bid Welcome to all the new members here
  16. This guy goes into his dentist's office, because something is wrong with his mouth. After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, "Holy Smoke! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has nearly completely corroded! What on earth have you been eating?" "Well... the only thing I can think of is this... my wife made me some asparagus about four months ago with this stuff on it... Hollandaise sauce she called it... and doctor, I'm talkin' DELICIOUS! I've never tasted anything like it, and ever since then I've been putting it on everything... meat, fish, toast, vegetables... you name it!" "That's probabably it," replied the dentist "Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon juice, which is acidic and highly corrosive. It seems as thought I'll have to install a new plate, but made out of chrome this time." "Why chrome?" the man asked. "Well, everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"
  17. Dining Out Remember when eating out was a relaxing experience? Someone else cooked for you, served you and cleaned up after you. All you had to do was chew, swallow and pay. No longer, though. Today, you feel like a laboratory rat who has to struggle through a maze every time it wants a chunk of cheese: "Good evening," the maitre d' said. "Table for four?" "Yes, Thank you." "Smoking or non?" "Non smoking." "Would you prefer to dine indoors or outdoors this evening?" "I guess indoors would be good." "Very well, sir," he said. "Would you like to be seated in the main dining room, the enclosed patio, or our lovely solarium?" "Uh, let me see... uh..." "I can give you a table with a lovely view in our lovely solarium." "I think the solarium would be lovely," I said. We followed him there... "Now, would you prefer a view overlooking the golf course, the sunset on the lake or the majestic mountains to the West?" "Whatever you recommend," I said. Let HIM make a decision for a change, I thought. He sat us by a window facing the golf course, lake or mountains. I couldn't tell which because it was dark outside. Then, a young man, better dressed and better looking than any of us, presented himself at our table... "Good evening, my name is Paul, and I'll be your waiter this evening. Would you like a few minutes before I take your order?" "No," I said. "I'm just a meat-and-potatoes guy, so I'll have the filet mignon and a baked potato." "Soup, or salad?" "Salad." "We have a mixed-green salad, hearts of palm, or a very fine endive salad with baby shrimp." "Just a mixed-green salad, okay?" "Whatever you say, sir. Dressing?" I didn't want to make another decision... "Whatever you've got will be fine." "We have Creamy Italian, Blue Cheese, Vinaigrette, Thousand Island, Honey Dijon and Ranch." "Just bring me one. Surprise me." "Creamy Italian is our house specialty. Would that be all right, sir?" "Yeah." I was curt. I was done with civility. "And for your baked potato?" I knew what was coming! "I just want the baked potato dry, you understand? I don't want anything on it." "No butter? No sour cream?" "No." "No chives? No bacon chips ? " "No! Don't you understand English? I don't want anything on it. Just bring me a baked potato and a steak." "Would you prefer the six, eight, or 12-ounce steak, sir?" "Whatever." "Would you like that rare, medium rare, medium, medium well or well done? Or, if you prefer, we can butterfly it for you." "Pauly Boy," I said, "you are really starting to get me steamed." "Which brings up the vegetables, sir. Would you like steamed broccoli, creamed corn, sauteed zucchini, or diced carrots?" That did it. I threw my napkin to the floor, stood up, put my face right in his arrogant kisser and said, "How'd you like to settle this outside?" "Fine with me, sir. Would you prefer the parking lot, the side alley or the street in front of the restaurant?" "I prefer right here." Then I sucker-punched him: he ducked, then countered with a left hook right under my eye. It was the first time all night he hadn't offered me a selection. I collapsed semiconscious into my chair, as someone in authority rushed over and berated Pauly. I felt my tie being loosened, my collar unbuttoned, hands slapping my face. When I regained my senses, I saw the very concerned maitre d' right in front of my nose. He apologized and offered to buy me a drink, call the paramedics, whatever I wanted. "No, no," I said. "I'll be all right. Just bring me a glass of water." "Yes, sir, right away," he said. "Would you prefer imported mineral water, sparkling water, or club soda with a wedge of lime?
  18. Texas Barbecue Sandwich (Thanksgiving Leftovers) Ingredients: * 2 Cups GRILLED TURKEY * 3/4 Cup tomato juice * 1/4 Cup catsup * 2-2/3 Tablespoons vinegar * 2 Tablespoons molasses * 1-1/2 Tablespoons Worcestershire sauce * 1 Tablespoon dried onion * 1 Tablespoon sugar * 2 Teaspoons paprika * 3/4 Teaspoon salt * 3/4 Teaspoon dry mustard * 1/2 Teaspoon chili powder * 1/2 Teaspoon dried minced garlic * 1/2 Teaspoon cayenne pepper * 1 Dash hot pepper sauce * 4 Hamburger buns split horizontally and toasted Instructions: 1. Cut meat from bones and mince. 2. In 3-quart saucepan, over high heat, combine tomato juice, catsup, vinegar, molasses, Worcestershire sauce, onions, sugar, paprika, salt, dry mustard, chili powder, garlic, cayenne pepper, and hot pepper sauce; bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes. 3. Add turkey and simmer 10 to 15 minutes or until heated throughout. 4. To serve, spoon barbecue on bottom half of burger bun. Top with other half.
  19. Mashed Potatoes and Ham Bake (Leftovers) 2 cups mashed potatoes 2 tablespoons mustard 2 cups ham, cubed 1/2 cup cottage cheese 1 cup cheddar cheese, grated Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a medium-sized bowl, mix mashed potatoes and mustard. Spread potato mixture in the bottom of a greased 8-inch square baking pan. Arrange ham on top of potatoes. In a small bowl, mix cottage cheese and cheddar cheese. Spread over ham. Bake until mixture is heated through, about 30 minutes
  20. THANKSGIVING SQUASH Can use Hubbard, Butternut, or Buttercup squash. 2-1/2 to 3 pounds squash. Wash and dry, place on oven rack and bake at 375 degrees until tender. Cut in half, remove seeds and strings. Peel and mash. 2 tbsp. butter 2 tbsp. brown sugar 1/2 tsp. salt 1/4 tsp. ginger 1/2 c. nuts, chopped 1/2 c. crushed pineapple Orange juice Nutmeg Combine all ingredients in the top of a double boiler with just enough orange juice to make a mixture of mashed potato consistency. Heat over boiling water. Sprinkle top with nutmeg before serving.
  21. GREEN BEANS WITH ONION SAUCE Ingredients: 3 lbs green beans 1 bag (1 lb) frozen small whole onions, not thawed 2 tsps. sugar 1/3 cup cider vinegar 1 TBsp. minced garlic 1 TBsp. chopped fresh rosemary or 1 1/2 tsp. dried, crumbled 1/2 tsp. salt 1 TBsp. all-purpose flour 1 1/2 cups chicken broth Garnish: sprig of fresh rosemary Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add beans; cook 4 minutes or until crisp-tender. Drain in a colander; chill under running cold water. Pat dry with paper towels. The Sauce:While water comes to a boil, melt butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add frozen onions; toss to coat. Sprinkle with sugar and cook, shaking pan often, 8 to 10 minutes until onions are lightly golden and liquid has evaporated. Reduce heat to medium. Add vinegar, garlic, rosemary and salt. Cook stirring occasionally, 4 minutes or until onions are tender. Whisk flour and broth until smooth. Add to skillet; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer 5 minutes or until sauce thickens slightly. To Serve:Bring 1/2 cup water to a boil in a large pot or skillet, Add beans, return to a boil, reduce heat and simmer, stirring occasionally, 4 minutes or until hot and water evaporates. Add sauce; cook and stir until heated through. Serve garnished with rosemary.
  22. Thanksgiving Turkey Roll 4 Slices turkey breast meat * Stuffing 2 ts To 3 ts flour 1 tb Butter 1/4 c Dry Madeira or Marsala 3/4 c Chicken broth -----STUFFING----- 1 tb Butter Large shallot, minced Clove garlic, minced 1/4 lb Mild pork sausage/grnd pork 1/4 ts Crushed, dry sage 1/4 ts Crushed, dry red pepper flks 1/4 ts Crushed, dry thyme 2 x Slices day-old bread Salt, pepper to taste * about 1/3 to 1/2 inch thich (about 12 ounces) Place turkey slices between 2 sheets wax paper and pound to 1/4 to 1/6-inch thickness. Working with 1 turkey slice at a time, mound 1/4 stuffing into center of each slice and roll up, or if not possible, bring ends of slice to center. Close turkey slices with wood picks. Place flour on plate. Lightly dust turkey rolls with flour. Melt butter in large skillet. Add turkey rolls, open ends up and brown turkey on all sides, about 5 minutes (some stuffing may spill out). Remove turkey from skillet. Add Madeira and cook over medium heat, scraping up browned pieces from skillet. Add chicken broth. Return turkey rolls to pan. Cover skillet and cook over low heat until turkey is cooked through, 7 to 10 minutes. Serve turkey with gravy and any stuffing in skillet. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ STUFFING: Heat butter in large skillet. Add shallot and garlic and saute over low heat until tender, about 5 minutes. Add sausage, breaking up with fork, and cook until browned. Do not drain fat. Add sage, red pepper flakes, and thyme. Crumble bread and add to mixture. Cook over low heat 5 minutes to blend flavors. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
  23. Thanksgiving Divorce A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough. "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay" he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
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