Kaleb’s Dilemma by Larkin
I have been daydreaming a lot more lately.
The idea of trying to make a friend and getting rejected is almost not worth it to me.
So, I hide inside myself.
Tasha is so good at sports. Girls like him too. It all seems so easy for him. Maybe if I hang out with him a little bit might rub off on me. I think I’d like to be friends with him but he’s always challenging you.
If you are not perfect, he will zero in on you. Surrounded by other boys, he extends his hand straight out and lets it comically fall at the wrist.
Making a stupid face he says, “You know, he’s so gay!”
All the boys laugh and I pretend to. Is he talking about me? Does he know something about me?
One boy vying for Tasha’s approval says, “I know who is, Terry Moore is. He keeps lookin at me all weird.”
The boy crosses his eyes and imitating Tasha, says. “He’s totally gay!”
He does a silly walk in a circle and the others all laughing, start pushing him. I quietly fade out of the group. What if I am gay? At the very least all those boys would hate me.
I know Terry Moore. He's in my English class. Terry is friendly enough and pretty smart.
He comes up to me and says things like, “Kaleb, what’s up with you today?”
Maybe I should be friendlier to him? He’s not at all like Tasha and his friends. What if he is gay? Does that mean I am gay just because I am friends with him?
At lunch, Terry comes up to me and says, “What’s up with you today? You look bummed out.
His calm voice is easy to listen to.
“Kaleb, why don’t you and me hang out?”
I smiled and said, “Ok.”
I don’t know if I am gay but when it comes to friends, maybe it doesn’t really matter.