ShiningKnight

IRELAND “Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?” FRANCE “Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren’t the French just Germans who can make sauces?” ITALY “Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O’s! ” POLAND “Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?” GERMANY “Is this bratwurst kosher?” TURKEY “Where’s the hash at? It’s cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?” KOREA “Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?” CHINA “This wall isn’t so great.” ENGLAND “Did you ever get a piece of a** from that Diana chick?” SWEDEN “Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?” YEMEN “Yemen? That’s a stupid name for a country. What’s it mean -- ‘Land Of Fanatics And Dust' ?” INDIA “You don’t live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?” ETHIOPIA “After a long day of travel, I’m famished. Hey – those flies sure love your pregnant son!” CANADA “You’re like Americans without money.” SPAIN “So, this is the country that’s not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?” SOUTH AFRICA “I liked it better the other way.” MEXICO “What's that smell?” SAUDI ARABIA “Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?” RUSSIA “Is it always this cold and economically devastated?” UZBEKISTAN “Can you spell Uzbekistan?” GREECE “I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy." AFGHANISTAN “Seriously, where is the real country… where is everything?” JAPAN “What’s Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?” AUSTRALIA “How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?” AMERICA “Was John Wayne gay?”

Number One: On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is An Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 Minutes to "Happy Hour." ========== Number Two: During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside. "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "yours is." ============= Number Three: Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, Thank You for your good wishes, sir." Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?" "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone." ========== Number Four: Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "Sure, buddy." Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!" Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "No, SIR!" ================== Number Five: Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party? A: He'll tell you. Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot. Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine? A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down. ================= Number Six: An Air Force Chief Master Sergeant and a General were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The General shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!" The Chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like." ============== Number Seven: "Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!"

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I recently found an IQ test on a German web site with about 120 questions. Of course most of them are meant in a funny way. Nevertheless, all solutions are logical and absolutely correct. I'd like to translate and share a few of those questions here. I'll post one by one waiting for a reply before posting the next one. Be careful before giving your answer. I hope Jan won't be the only one who participates in this. I'd like to here the opinions/solutions from ALL of you since this is a community. Here we go: (1) 2 + 2 x 2 = ...? To be continued...

Okay, you won, Jan. 1-0 to you. It's just something I had on my mind yesterday I saw a few years ago on TV when that "Collossos" thing was finished. They were definitely talking about any new record... I don't even remember what kind of maybe it was the highest above earth or something? Or was it just meant as "in Europe" and not worldwide? Idontknow But we do hve the world's super bestest Formula One race driver... Or do you remember any US citizen who has won 7 world championships so far? Tongue Out And here's the ultimate test: Can you name him?

By the way, the article does not deal with how to integrate the new Windows XP Service Pack 2 into an existing installation of XP (so called "slipstreaming") directly. Various guides can be found on the net about this. With integrating the SP2 into a WinXP installation CD you can save a lot of time and XP is up to date right after its installation. Up to now there are no further patches available for WinXP after the SP2 was released. That means you got an up-to-date XP right after the installation without having to download and install everything manually. One of those guides can be found here: www.windows-help.net

If anyone of you needs help on this do not hesitate to ask. That's the purpose of a forum.

Athens marathon attacker sentenced Monday, August 30, 2004 Posted: 1118 GMT (1918 HKT) Athens marathon attacker sentenced ATHENS, Greece -- A former Catholic priest has been given a one-year suspended sentence in Greece after pushing the leader of the men's marathon into the crowd during the Athens Olympics. Vanderlei De Lima, from Brazil, was at the head of the race Sunday, just three miles from the finish, when he was attacked by Cornelius Horan, who was wearing a kilt and beret. After a scuffle, De Lima managed to get away, but he was clearly upset and finished third. Horan, 57, originally from Kerry, Ireland, had a note pinned to his back, reading: "The Grand Prix Priest. Israel Fulfillment of Prophecy Says The Bible." "Greece has a long tradition with Saint Paul and Alexander the Great," he told police officers after his arrest. "Christ deserves a greater honor. I am not a Jew but I love them." Horan also disrupted Britain's Silverstone Formula One Grand Prix last year by dashing across the track. He was sentenced to two months for aggravated trespass then. After his arrest Sunday, police issued a press release saying the man had "strong psychological disturbances" and was taken to the General Police Division of Attica where he spent the night in a cell. On Monday, a three-member court found him guilty of violating Greek laws on extracurricular sports and fined him &euro3,000 (U.S.$3,605), according to The Associated Press. The court told Horan he would have to serve the sentence if he violated any laws in Greece for the next three years. Athens Police confirmed that Horan went to Athens only for the Olympic marathon as he arrived from London, where he lives, earlier on Sunday. Meanwhile, Brazil's Olympic Committee said it will appeal to the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) over the assault. The Brazilians protested immediately after the event, asking for De Lima to be given a duplicate gold medal, but it was turned down. The International Olympic Committee gave De Lima a special medal named after the founder of the modern Olympics, Pierre De Coubertin, in recognition of his "exceptional demonstration of fair play and Olympic values." Despite this, the Brazilians have now decided to take the case to sport's highest legal body. They want the result reviewed on the basis that De Lima was not given the necessary security on the streets of Athens and this stopped him winning. Earlier in the Athens Games, Canadian Ron Bensinhom, caused a stir by splashing into the Olympic pool during the men's 10m diving final. Copyright 2004 CNN. All rights reserved. Find this article at: http://edition.cnn.com/2004/SPORT/08/30/ho...thon/index.html

Have you ever wanted a Windows XP CD that would install Windows XP by automatically putting in your name, product key, timezone and regional settings? Followed by silently installing all your favourite applications along with the latest DirectX, .Net Framework and then all the Windows Critical Updates, registry tweaks, updated drivers, and a readily patched UXTheme.dll without any user interaction whatsoever? Then this guide will show you how you can do just that! Target Audience: Home users - who are taking up a time-consuming process of re-installing Windows, manually installing essential applications, downloading windows updates, and tweaking their OS to perfection on every re-format. Difficulty: Requires intermediate experience on Microsoft Windows XP and a basic knowledge of how batch commands function. MSFN's Unattended XP CD - Introduction

(CNN) -- Michael Schumacher became the first driver to win seven Formula One championships after finishing second to Kimi Raikkonen in the Belgian Grand Prix. In one of the most exciting races of the season the lead changed hands frequently, there were three safety car periods and many spectacular crashes. After 44 laps at the challenging track in the Belgian Ardennes, Raikkonen had the upper hand just ahead of Schumacher and Rubens Barrichello. It was only the second career victory for the Finn, who won his first race last season and went on to finish second overall to Schumacher. Schumacher finished second to Raikkonen by 3.1 seconds after falling back early to sixth place. Schumacher's title completes a Ferrari sweep of the season after the Fiat-owned team claimed its sixth straight constructors crown two weeks ago in Budapest.. The race was off to its usual spectacular start as many cars collided in the first couple of tight corners of the track. When Jordan driver Giorgio Pantano crashed into Gianmaria Bruni's Minardi, the car caught fire and race officials sent out the safety car to give race marshals the necessary time to clear the track from debris. Both drivers were unharmed. After only one lap, Webber, Sato, Bruni and Pantano had already pulled out of the race and Button, Baumgartner, Heidfeld, Massa, Panis and Barrichello all had to make a pit stop to have parts of their cars checked or replaced as a result of the jostle at the start. Pole sitter Jarno Trulli had a nightmare GP finishing in 9th position, outside of the points. Fernando Alonso dropped out of the race when he spun on oil leaking out of his own car. The safety car was deployed again when Jenson Button's rear tire peeled off at high speed. The Briton spun and took back marker Zsolt Baumgartner with him again leaving lots of debris scattered around the track. The third safety car period was caused by David Coulthard when he bumped into the back of Jaguar driver Christian Klien with just six laps to go Juan Pablo Montoya retired when he suffered a puncture and decided to quit in the pits.

To me it even says "Most users ever online was 14 on Aug 21 2004, 08:26 PM (my time (CEST)). clapping

By the way, I declare this section open...

Here's a URL of a shop where you can order German food, sweets, candy etc. GermanDeli.com I'll have to remember that as soon as I may move

Here's a link to a popular program in Germany. It combines a popup blocker and a lot of other tools to prevent ads on the net: WebWasher (US) Although it is a German tool (mady by Siemens in Germany) it is available in German AND English). Go and have a try, it's worth it.

UPDATE: I set up the auction on eBay on Wednesday for the cell phone I won by the beginning of last week. If you'd like to have a look: My Nokia 7600 on eBay I hope the pictures I took are sharp enough? What do you (all) think? Keep your fingers crossed for many many bids... The auction will end on Sun, 09/05/04 @ 10:27:42 PDT (19:27:42 CEST).

She calls out to the man on the street "Sir, can you help me? It's cold and I've nowhere to sleep, Is there somewhere you can tell me?" He walks on, doesn't look back He pretends he can't hear her Starts to whistle as he crosses the street Seems embarrassed to be there Oh think twice, it's another day for You and me in paradise Oh think twice, it's just another day for you, You and me in paradise She calls out to the man on the street He can see she's been crying She's got blisters on the soles of her feet Can't walk but she's trying Oh think twice... Oh lord, is there nothing more anybody can do Oh lord, there must be something you can say You can tell from the lines on her face You can see that she's been there Probably been moved on from every place 'Cos she didn't fit in there Oh think twice...

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord I've been waiting for this moment, all my life, Oh Lord Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord, Oh Lord Well, if you told me you were drowning I would not lend a hand I've seen your face before my friend But I don't know if you know who I am Well, I was there and I saw what you did I saw it with my own two eyes So you can wipe off the grin, I know where you've been It's all been a pack of lies And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, Oh Lord I can feel it in the air tonight, Oh Lord, Oh Lord And I've been waiting for this moment all my life, Oh Lord, Oh Lord Well I remember, I remember don't worry How could I ever forget, it's the first time, the last time we ever met But I know the reason why you keep your silence up, no you don't fool me The hurt doesn't show; but the pain still grows It's no stranger to you or me And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord...

This is your wake up call... young hearts be free Get up, get on, get out about and shout it Tell 'em all you're dressed and on your way Oh there's absolutely no doubt about it This is your wake up call You're gonna miss it all Am I the only one out there that's listening Cos it's such a lovely noise that I can hear Eyes are opening up to all around them This is their wake up call They're gonna miss it all Can you feel what's happening here Everything is changing all around you It's in the air, electricity Everybody, yes everybody's waking up Good morning to you You're not the only one out there who's running But the man who's sitting next to you's asleep So pick him up and shake him till he hears you This is his wake up call He's gonna miss it all Can you feel what's happening here Everything is changing all around you It's in the air, electricity Everybody, yes everybody's waking up Good morning to you Those who've done all they can do sleep easy Those that turn away, they sleep alone But there's no doubt about it absolutely This is a wake up call We 're gonna miss it all This is your wake up call This is your wake up call This is your wake up call You're gonna miss it You're gonna miss it all

So you're leaving in the morning on the early train I could say everything's alright And I could pretend and say goodbye Got your ticket Got your suitcase Got your leaving smile I could say that's the way it goes And I could pretend and you won't know That I was lying Cause I can't stop loving you No I can't stop loving you No I won't stop loving you Why should I? We took a taxi to the station, not a word was said And I saw you walk across the road For maybe the last time I don't know Feeling humble I heard a rumble On the railway track And when I hear that whistle blow I'll walk away and you won't know That I'll be crying Cause I can't stop loving you No I can't stop loving you No I won't stop loving you Why should I? Even try ……I'll always be here by your side Why, why, why ……I never wanted to say goodbye Why even try ….I'm always here if you change, change your mind So you 're leaving in the morning on the early train I could say everything's alright And I could pretend and say goodbye But that would be lying Cause I can't stop loving you No I can't stop loving you No I won't stop loving you Why should I even try?

Now's the time for stepping out of place Get up on your feet and give account of your faith Pray to god or something or whatever you do What I see can make me stop and stare But who am I to judge the color of your hair Surely all you're feeling much the same as I do We got to keep this world together, got to keep it moving straight Love like we need each other, so that people can relate If you're going to your left, don't forget I'm on the right Trust and forgive each other A little love and we just might (We gotta do something, we gotta do something, we gotta do something) Thinking of the troubles of today is it easier to put that gun away Or is it difficult to stop the world to show you care Everything, everyone we know is beautiful Surely you will be the guide in light to see us all Maybe we can be the vision of a perfect man's dream We got to keep this world together, got to keep it moving straight Love like we need each other, so that people can relate If you're going to your left, don't forget I'm on the right Trust and forgive each other A little love and we just might (I have something, do you have something 'cause I have something for you) (I have something, do you have something 'cause I have something for you) (I have something, do you have something 'cause I have something for you) (I have something for you) We got to keep this world together, got to keep it moving straight Love like we need each other, so that people can relate If you're going to your left, don't forget I'm on the right Trust and forgive each other A little love and we just might We got to keep this world together, got to keep it moving straight Love like we need each other, so that people can relate If you're going to your left, don't forget I'm on the right Trust and forgive each other A little love and we just might

There's no reason for you to lose your mind, Cause I've seen something, That's gonna change our time. If I could, I'd make you understand. If I could, I'd make you understand. Ah... There's no hurry, It's gonna come for sure, Cause I know that someday, We're gonna end our war. If I could, I'd make you understand. If I could, I'd make you understand. Yes, I'd stand, and if I...I... If I could I would now. Oh my baby, oh baby... And if I could, I'd make you understand. If I could, then I'd make you understand. There's no reason for you to lose your mind. Cause I've seen something that's gonna change our time. If I..... could if I..... could and if I..... could.... ...If I could ...if I could if I could.... Oh oh, oh hoah whoah oh, oh oh oh, oh... ...if I... If I could... If I could... If I could... Woah, oh, oh, oh oh... If I could I would now baby. If I could I would. I would... If I could I would now.

We both know That the harder we try Can't understand it We're so caught up in the reasons why Station to station And we couldn't even say their names I realized it Was just a game I had lost my faith Long ago I had lost my faith Long ago I can see That if I stay close to your side All of my pressures now I know they will subside If ever you need me All you gotta do is fall I hear you sayin' That you got it all I had lost my faith Long ago I had lost my faith Long ago A stranger so it seems I lie here for you touch But what I'd like to know Is why do I want you so much You say that's all the same All through my life I have Waited for you And Have you waited too are you feeling what I'm feeling Ohhhh.... I I had lost my faith Long ago I had lost my faith long ago I had lost my faith Long ago I had lost my faith Long ago I lost my faith I lost my faith I lost my faith Ohh love

Then the rainstorm came, over me And I felt my spirit break I had lost all of my, belief you see And realized my mistake But time through a prayer, to me And all around me became still I need love, love's divine Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name Through the rainstorm came sanctuary And I felt my spirit fly I had found all of my reality I realize what it takes 'Cause I need love, love's divine Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name Oh I, don't bet (don't bend), don't break (don't break) Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake 'Cause love can help me know my name Well I try to say there's nothing wrong But inside I felt me lying all along But the message here was plain to see Believe me 'Cause I need love, love's divine Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name Oh I, don't bet (don't bend), don't break (don't break) Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake 'Cause love can help me know my name Love can help me know my name.

WOW. We have such an amusement park nearby over here as well. If you'd like to have a look go to the Heide Park Soltau website. There is an English section somewhere (click on the British flag). "Collossos" is the biggest, highest or whatever (do not remember right now) - entirely made of wood - roller coaster in the world. By the way, isn't that "funny": Disabled people get a discount, wheel chair users get a free ticket... but are not allowed to ride any coaster... Same over there?

By the way, where have the seperate greetings to each new member gone? I mean those before you decided to put everything in one single thread. You just deleted them?