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Stages of Life

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Stages of Life

MALE

AGE DRINK

17 Beer

25 Beer

35 Vodka

48 Double Vodka

66 Maalox

AGE SEDUCTION LINE

17 My parents are away for the weekend.

25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.

35 My fiancee is away for the weekend.

48 My wife is away for the weekend.

66 My second wife is dead.

AGE FAVORITE SPORT

17 Sex

25 Sex

35 Sex

48 Sex

66 Napping

AGE DRUG

17 Pot

25 Coke

35 Really Good Coke

48 Power

66 Coke, a Limousine, the Company Jet

AGE A SUCCESSFUL DATE

17 Tongue

25 Breakfast

35 She didn't set back my therapy.

48 I didn't have to meet her kids.

66 Got home alive.

AGE FAVORITE FANTASY

17 Getting to Third

25 Airplane Sex

35 Menage a trois

48 Taking the Company Public

66 Swiss Maid/Nazi Love Slave

AGE HOUSE PET

17 Roaches

25 Stoned-out College Roommate

35 Black Lab

48 Children from his first Marriage

66 Barbi

AGE THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?

17 25

25 35

35 48

48 66

66 17

AGE IDEAL DATE

17 Triple Stephen King feature at Drive-in.

25 Split the check and go back to my place.

35 Just come over.

48 Just come over and cook.

66 Sex in the Jet on the way to Vegas.

Female

AGE DRINK

17 Wine Coolers

25 Wine Coolers

35 Red Wine

48 Dom Perignon

66 Shot of Jack with Ensure

AGE EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES

17 Need to wash my hair.

25 Need to wash and condition my hair.

35 Need to color my hair.

48 Need to have Francois color my hair.

66 Need to have Francois color my wig.

AGE FAVORITE SPORT

17 Shopping.

25 Shopping.

35 Shopping.

48 Shopping.

66 Shopping.

AGE DRUG

17 Shopping.

25 Shopping.

35 Shopping.

48 Shopping.

66 Shopping.

AGE A SUCCESSFUL DATE

17 Burger King

25 Free Meal

35 A Diamond

48 A Bigger Diamond

66 Home Alone

AGE FAVORITE FANTASY

17 Tall, Dark and Handsome

25 Tall, Dark and Handsome with Money

35 Tall, Dark and Handsome, Money and Brains

48 A Man with Hair

66 A Man

AGE HOUSE PET

17 Muffy the Cat

25 Unemployed Boyfriend and Muffy

35 Irish Setter and Muffy

48 His Children and Muffy

66 Retired Husband stuffs Muffy

AGE THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?

17 17

25 25

35 35

48 48

66 66

AGE IDEAL DATE

17 He Offers to Pay.

25 He Pays.

35 He cooks Breakfast the next morning.

48 He cooks Breakfast for the Kids.

66 He can chew Breakfast.

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