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BWCTwriter

Chapter 8

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Love Transcending, Chapter 8

My mother shook herself out of her trance and turned back toward the door. “I’m sorry I barged in on you boys,” she apologized as she left the room. “Breakfast will be ready in twenty minutes.” With that, she left the room, closing the door behind her.

Chris and I were speechless. The fear began to set in as we slowly dressed to go upstairs for breakfast. This was a lot sooner than I had planned to have to deal with coming out to my parents. I wasn’t sure what my mother would think of us now, whether she’d be upset, and worst of all, whether she planned on telling my father what was going on, which I feared would not go well, especially since we’d been having sex in his house without his knowledge. Things were escalating faster than I had anticipated.

Reluctantly, Chris and I climbed the stairs to the kitchen, grasping each other’s hand for support, and went in to face my mother, who was standing at the counter preparing two plates of breakfast: pancakes, sausage, and orange juice. We kept our heads down, afraid to look at my mother in the face.

“So boys,” she started, “how long have you been together?”

‘Ok,’ I thought, ‘we’re still here so she is probably not gonna kick us out. I guess she does know, so we might as well be honest.’

I looked over at Chris to make sure he was ok with me answering truthfully. He nodded, and I answered my mother. “Since the trip.”

“But we knew,” Chris added, “since right before I left for Arkansas.” He paused to choose his next words, then continued. “How did you know?”

“You mean besides catching you….in bed this morning?” she joked. “Well, Matt may think he’s covered his tracks on the computer, but he must have forgotten a couple times. It’s alright, Matt, Chris. I’m glad my son has found someone as sweet and caring as you, Chris. He doesn’t even talk to me about his life anymore. We used to be able to talk about anything until a couple years ago.”

I felt guilty that I was too afraid to be honest with my mother. “I’m sorry mom; I don't even like myself for who I am. How can I expect anyone else to?"

"You can expect me to," she retorted, "because I'm you're mother." She paused a moment, then asked, "Do you love each other?"

I held up our clasped hands, smiling over at my love for a second, then turning pack to my mother and replied with confidence, "He's my soul mate."

Chris held me close and kissed my neck tenderly. "And he is mine."

I shrugged him away, nodding over towards my mother. "I'm sorry mom, we promise not to kiss in front of you." My low self-esteem was kicking into overdrive at that moment, but my mother was quick to dismiss my inhibitions.

"It's alright honey," she said, "just keep the R-rated stuff in the bedroom."

I blushed a deep shade of red and whined, "MOOOOooom, you're embarrassing me."

Chris just stood back and laughed. My mother, Chris, and I sat down to breakfast, and we had a pleasant meal. Mom would smile occasionally as she saw the looks Chris and I gave to each other, the smiles, how our bodies remained in partial contact during the entire meal. I couldn't help it; even an inch of space was further a distance than I ever wanted to be from my love.

My mother smiled at our playful antics, perhaps recalling her own memories of first love. I was so relieved that I had one more ally in this war. I hoped she’d be able to help me keep my dad from finding out, or if we were discovered, that she could keep him from killing me. I was sure he’d try and convince me that I was straight, as if no son of his was allowed to be different, a sissy, a fag.

After breakfast, my mother left for church, alone as always, leaving us boys to tend to the house. Now, even though she left us, knowing that we were sexually involved, and seemingly approved of our relationship, I wasn't ready to romp with my lover every chance I got. Chris was pulling me towards my bedroom downstairs, but I insisted we just spend some quality time together. Though he would have preferred another round of horizontal exercise, he graciously followed my wishes, and we spent the morning cuddled together on the couch, watching TV.

Upon arriving home, my mother announced it was time to do some school shopping, to which both Chris and I groaned allowed.

"Now, boys," my mother declared, "this has to be done today. I have to work all week and you start school on Wednesday. Christopher, your mother has given me some money to get your supplies as well. She is very busy trying to coordinate the new move, so she asked me to help out. Now get dressed, both of you, and meet me in the car in ten minutes."

With little haste did we untangle ourselves from the couch and go downstairs to get dressed. However, once my mother began honking intermittently, I knew it was time to speed up our efforts. We threw our clothes on, hastily and ran upstairs, and scuffled out the door just in time to hear two more beeps of the car horn.

As we strode the mall together, my mother 30 feet in front of us, of course, we looked for our favorite apparel stores. To my mother's protestations, we refused to let her help us pick out our clothes, instead relying on the tastes of each other.

"You look better in black," Chris commented when he saw me grabbing a pair of faded blue jeans. Taking his advice, I ditched the blue jeans, grabbed some black baggy ones, a couple of khakis, and some cargo pants.

Chris tried on some of the same, though he had a style all his own. He seemed to like the Old Navy type apparel. I was no help; I thought he looked sexy in anything, even if they were the most hideous clothes on the planet. So, if he wanted to spare his own embarrassment, he’d have to do it himself.

After my mother paid for our clothes, and we had a late lunch together, we stopped at a shoe store and acquired a couple snazzy pairs of shoes. We were tempted to get the same exact shoes, but figured we'd look a little suspicious walking around like that in school together.

Finishing up our day of shopping, we purchased loads of paper and pencils, notebooks and folders, our jovial mood from being together ruined by the final realization that our summer was almost over. In less than three days, we would be in school, listening to our teachers drone on, and we would most definitely have less time to spend together. I prayed to a God that I thought still owed me for my shitty, depressing childhood that we would have a few classes together, though if we couldn't control our behavior in public, having even one class together and successfully hiding our closeted homosexuality would be a chore for the both of us.

Once we arrived home, Chris called his mother, who would be picking him up shortly. Chris gathered his stuff by the door and we waited together for her to arrive. As the car pulled up to take my love away from me, albeit temporarily, we hugged each other behind the privacy of the front door, I opened the door for my love and he departed. I stood by the door and watched him get into his mother’s car, and did not look away until the car had driven out of sight.

The following day, my mother had to go to work, so I was sent over to Chris' house, whose parents were still unpacking the last of the boxes from the move. We helped re-arrange the furniture to their liking, and then went to his room. He showed me his new room, which, not surprisingly, was still in boxes. If I was just "getting to know" Chris in this, the beginning of our relationship, and was inconvenienced by a move, I know I would skip as much as I could in order to free up time for my love.

As we hung up his new clothes, we talked about this and that, nothing important really. His mother informed us that our High School registration was at 2pm, so we had just enough time to eat lunch, dress in our new clothes for the school pictures, and go to the orientation. Though I was a sophomore, and he was a freshman, there was still hope for us to be together during the school year. Our gym classes were split into two groups: freshman/sophomore and junior/senior days, so we had a shot at being in the same gym class. Then there was lunch, which we hoped would be the same. We were in the same math class together, Chris being a year ahead of me in that department, thus we were both going to be in Geometry. Those, unfortunately, would be the only classes we had even the slightest chances of being together in.

At the orientation, we both scrambled to our perspective lines in the office, retrieving our class schedules first. We scurried out of the office and to the corner of the school lobby, excitedly comparing our schedules. To our luck, we had Gym and Math together, as well as lunch period. After finding our lockers and locating which class was where, we finished registration, had our pictures taken, and were on our way.

Chris' mother dropped me off around 5, just in time to help my mother make dinner, and I spent the rest of the night and the following day at home, preparing for school. I called Chris later that night and we talked for a while, about which teachers we had. I warned him to watch out for one, and that another was so easy all you had to do was show up, and we continued for an hour or so.

I never used to talk so much on the phone, but ever since I found my new BOYFRIEND, a word I loved to repeat over and over in my head, I just gabbed like crazy. I'm pretty sure he didn't mind though, as I knew he would tell me to shut up if I was talking too much. I discovered that honesty is something that I could expect from him, as he could from me, in our relationship. I wouldn't mind if he told me to shut up, I'd just be happy that he knew I wouldn’t take it personally.

After our long conversation, which left me longing for his touch again, I decided I needed to deal with the straining erection I’d had for the entire phone conversation, so I slowly pleasured myself, enjoying a warm soothing orgasm, then drifting off to sleep, thoughts of Chris never leaving my mind.

I wondered how school would affect our relationship, as I was not ready to be open about my sexuality to everyone who know and loved (and many cases hated) me. I was sure that my close friends would be fine with it, but there were a lot of gay jokes and accusations going around school, and I didn’t want to be any more apart of it than I already was.

I never could defend myself physically, thus anything they threw at me stuck with little opposition. I really hated it, but, at that time, my self-esteem was pretty much at a record low in my life. I found no safe haven from the abuse I took from others, even from my own brother and sister.

I decided to talk to my mother on Monday night about my depression, and she was very compassionate and understanding, and made an appointment to see my doctor on Friday. My mother asked me if I wanted to find a local counselor in the area, but I told her I’d ask Dr. Beck when I saw him on Friday. I was always very comfortable with his style and had no doubt that he would be serious and non-judgmental on the subject, so I just waited for the days to pass.

Chris was stuck home Tuesday, continuing to get things organized in his new home. But we called each other all day long. My mother was getting annoyed at having to hear the phone ring 6 times that day, but resigned herself to doing nothing, not wanting to put a damper on my happiness. We were excited to see how our new relationship would develop, especially with the obstacles of school to dodge. It would be an adjustment, but we were so happy with being together at all, that it didn’t matter then.

When the alarm sounded at 6am Wednesday morning, I was very unhappy. I loathed with passion having to get up so early in the morning, but the remembrance of what waited for me at school was enough to put enough hustle in me to be early for class, one of very few that day.

Though I was almost seventeen, “problems” with certain officials at the department of motor vehicles left me without a license or a car that year. I remembered being so excited when I got to take driver’s education a year ahead of most of the kids in my same graduating class, as I was a year older than them. I thought I was the cat’s pajamas, being one of the only freshmen that could drive. But alas, the evil dictators at the DMV put a stop to my gloating real fast. I tried every month, but I never seemed able to convince the instructor of my solid driving ability. I hoped that the ego boost of having a hot new boyfriend would somehow make it easier for me to trust myself and pass that test with flying colors. After all, what good was having a boyfriend if you couldn’t take him around in your hot rod and spoil him to no end?

After my MOTHER dropped me off at school, I met up with Chris shortly before Geometry was to begin. I knew I was going to loathe having math at 8am. But hey, at least I have a gorgeous boyfriend to drool over while the minutes ticked away.

Chris and I walked off to a quiet corner and had a small conversation while we waited for the final bell. I started.

“You better not distract me too much with your cuteness in there. I need to get good grades or my parents will kill me!”

“Can I help that I’m THIS good looking?” he asked with a sly grin. “Well, you better not get too distracted 'cause I hate geometry. I’m gonna need all the help I can get.”

“Wait a second,” I pondered, “you’re a year ahead of me in math, and you’re the one who needs the extra help?”

“Well how am I supposed to pay attention when I have to deflect all your goofy stares all day?”

“Good point,” I concluded. Just then, the final bell rang, and a herd of students filed into the classroom, where an older, white-haired gentleman stood at the front podium.

Chris took a seat in the middle of the room, one seat from the front, which I assumed was meant for me. Lord knows if I had been sitting anywhere but in front of him, I’d fail that class for sure.

“Ok kids, quiet down now” the teacher started, “I’m Mr. Anderson, and this is Geometry. It’s nice to see some of you back again. I hope you enjoyed your summer vacation. Now, let’s take attendance and we’ll get started.”

On the class went, for 50 minutes, while the teacher took attendance, passed out textbooks and explained his rules and expectations, giving only one intro assignment and leaving the last fifteen minutes for free time.

As soon as Mr. Anderson left the podium, I turned around and started talking to Chris about all the weird things I knew of Mr. Anderson. Luckily, he was one of the most easy-going math teachers on staff, so I figured things would go pretty smoothly for Chris and me.

Once class let out, Chris and I got in our last comments, and then separated for the next period. He was headed to the technology wing for computer class, and I was going to Biology.

Biology promised to be one of the easiest classes I’d ever taken, and I was pleased to have a funny and interesting teacher, for this year. She would no doubt put a lot of info on my plate to absorb, but I had faith that she would present it in a way that would leave me with a good foundation.

Third period I had English, while Chris had history. English was also a fairly easy course for me, as I was a natural writer. I liked creating imaginative stories for myself and others, ones where I could pretend I was whoever I wanted to be, and throw caution to the wind, much to the opposite of what I was in real life. Hopefully, with a new hottie by my side, I would gain some courage in this crazy thing called life, and my weaknesses would cease to be of such great importance, as they seemed to be at that point.

Chris and I met up for lunch forth period, Me bringing a sack lunch and Chris purchasing something from the dreaded school cafeteria. I had not eaten more than 10 school lunches in my 9+ years in grade school, and would continue the same behavior through my senior year. It’s hard to eat lunch from a place where you have personally witnessed several people purging their vile lunches on the floor 2 feet from where you’re standing, and not have it affect you. I mostly just listened as Chris talked about his morning classes. I always felt more at ease with letting someone else talk more, as I like to absorb their positive energy, to help make up for the negativity I had held so closely toward my own life.

At one point in the conversation, Chris noticed I was staring intently at his sparkly green eyes, smiled, and reached under the table for my hand, to which I responded in kind. Holding my boyfriend’s soft, warm and delicate hand in mind gave me a warm thrill and a painful smile that refused to leave my face until well after lunch had ended.

After lunch, Chris and I reluctantly parted again, he going to English, while I went to US history. Though I did manage to catch most of my new teacher’s ramblings that period, thoughts of Chris never ceased. I couldn’t wait for next period, when we’d have gym together.

The idea of being with Chris every other day for gym excited and terrified me all at the same time. I mean, here I was, in a place where it was ok to just take your clothes off. It was ok to be scantily clothed for a few minutes every other day. It was ok to laugh and joke and play around, all while we all got sneak peeks at each other’s packages. Granted, we couldn’t stare for too long, but at least I got to see the well defined chest and arms, the smooth and silky legs, the sexy six pack of my lover, the faint impression of his c*** as he took longer than was necessary to fish around in his bag for an elusive missing item of clothing. Sometimes, I’d catch him giving me a quick wink in acknowledgement of my suspicions of his playful and erotic teasing ritual. He had me wrapped around his finger and he knew it. I didn’t mind though, I loved that boy to no end.

We didn’t do much during that period, except go over rules and get locker assignments. I’m not sure why we even dressed down in the first place, but I wasn’t about to question our wise teachers. After all, I got 2 chances to see my love strip to almost naked in front of me. We even shared the same locker in gym. I know I sprang a boner as we got dressed at the end of class. Chris saw it too, and smiled. I hoped we’d be able to get together soon to do something about this problem of mine, but we’d just have to see.

Last period of the day, I had a free period, while Chris had biology. I raced through the small amount of homework I had for that day, and spent the last few minutes of the period attempting to fall asleep. Most of the time, the study hall monitor let us sleep if we wanted to. I just had to be careful not to snore too loud.

When the final bell rang, I hurriedly gathered all my books together, raced to my locker, depositing all my unneeded books for the night, and looked around for Chris. We ran into each other just outside the main entrance, and he told me that he needed to go home and do some work. I reluctantly let him go but not before looking around to make sure the coast was clear and giving him a quick hug and kiss. He blushed and ran off toward the busses, and I walked tall out towards the staff parking lot, where my mother normally picked me up.

Five minutes later, my mother arrived, and I threw my bags in the back seat, then plopped my butt in the front seat. I made an audible sigh in awe of my new experiences with Chris. I was hopelessly entranced with the love for my boyfriend. I was almost bursting with anticipation of what was to become of our relationship. My mother looked at me curiously.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I replied with a smile. “Nothing at all.”

* * * * *

Following another two boring days in school, Chris and I were busting to have a weekend of fun. I had been missing being close with my boy so much, that I noticeably popped wood in P.E. Some jackass pointed it out and started laughing, and got the whole locker room laughing. Fortunately, I recovered fast and followed with the ever popular teenage response.

“Well, if you’re mother had finished me off last night I wouldn’t be so horny now!”

I wiped the smile off the kids face with that one, and the whole locker room full of boys busted up laughing. Chris laughed and winked at me, impressed with my quick recovery. Hell, even I was impressed with my recovery.

Having a boyfriend really was giving me quite an ego boost, it seemed. I usually just ignored the comments hurled at me day after day. I couldn’t anymore, ‘cause I had an audience of one very important boy to impress. I was still on a high from the newfound feelings of love in our relationship. I hoped they wouldn’t fade anytime soon. I dreaded the thought of us becoming like my parents some day: old and cold. I mean, I’m pretty sure they loved each other at SOME point in the past, yet nowadays they hardly ever show it. My father likes to be sarcastic, and pick on my mother, and my mother usually laughs it off, though I can see it bothers her a little. I just hope she isn’t hurt too bad by his mean spirited cracks.

Chris rode home with my mother and me that Friday afternoon. His mother Okayed his sleeping over for Friday night, and we hoped that collectively we could con her into letting him stay over Saturday night as well. We’d call her the next morning to find out about Saturday, but for now we just wanted to enjoy the moment.

Once we got home, my mother ordered pizzas and soda, and we had a blast watching TV and eating. My mom went out and rented a really funny movie, which we watched after dinner. My mother smiled at me as she watched us, snuggled up together on the couch, adding commentary on the movie and making jokes about the stupid parts.

My mother would later tell me that a sparkle in my eyes that was once gone had returned that night. I just told her she was crazy, but deep down, I knew she was right. That Friday night was the night I decided I wasn’t going to be depressed about my weaknesses anymore. I knew that, even though I wasn’t perfect, everyone had weak points. Some hide them better, or learn how to cope with them better, but behind every happy face lies the pain of past experiences. In order to appreciate the good times, you must also know what it’s like to feel true depression and desperation. The key to it all is, are you going to waste energy worrying about things you can’t control or things you can?

I finally understood what my counselors had been trying to tell me all along. Your past doesn’t have to control you, haunt you. All the bad things from my past didn’t matter anymore. I was no longer just trying to survive my situation. I was living it for myself, and for my boyfriend. I had a taste of happiness and I didn’t want to let it go. Chris brought out the best in me, and I in him. We completed each other. I knew that whatever obstacles lay ahead of us, and I was sure there’d be many, we could make it through them together.

Later that night, after the movie was over, Chris and I retired to my room for the night. As I pulled the sheets back on my bed and prepared it for the night, Chris started goofily singing some seductive song, and sexily took off his shirt, then his pants, and socks. I watched intently as he did so. His smooth body turned me on beyond belief. His boxers were tented, as were mine. I looked down at his package, and licked my lips.

He strode over to me slowly, then began to strategically disrobe me until I was as he was, left standing in my boxers, erection straining to break free. My need for sexual release was enormous, and I couldn’t wait for Chris to continue at his own pace, so I pulled my boxers down and let them fall to the floor, lifted one leg, and stepped out of it, then used my other foot to kick the boxers away. I stood naked and ready for my lover to conquer me. He finally pulled his own boxers off, though never once breaking the gaze he held with me. Slowly and gently, he walked over to me, placed his hands on my shoulders, and silently guided me to the bed, where we began a long and pleasurable night of lovemaking.

Chris and I brought each other to the heights of pleasure several times that night, each orgasm more intense than the next. That night, we learned everything there was to know about each other’s bodies. Every inch of skin was explored, every pleasure spot discovered. We had had sex before, but it was this night where we learned how to make love for the first time, to express with our bodies what our souls could never do. It was like bringing truth to every sexual and sensual fantasy I’d ever imagined, and more. That night, Chris and I were one in body and soul.

As I sat and pondered our future, long after Chris had passed out from exhaustion, I wondered where we would be in a year, in five years, in ten. I feared that maybe we would grow apart. Chris would want to go to one college, while I another. Maybe Chris would fall in love with someone else, and leave me behind, like a stepping stone in his love life. I don’t know what I would have done had Chris ever cast our love aside and sought love from somewhere else. It would devastate me.

Realizing what I was doing, I snapped myself out of the negative spin I was putting on my future. We loved each other now, and as long as I hold onto what is in front of me, I was sure to be fine.

The remainder of our weekend was equally exciting to the first night. Each moment spent discovering new pleasure zones of my lover brought us further into complete intimacy. I wondered to myself if I would ever tire of such activity, but one gaze at my partner in love removed all doubt from my mind. For, every moment spent in his embrace was like the first all over again.

This chapter is more transitional than anything. I believe you will find the proceeding chapters quite different from my original style, but it is definitely for the better, so I hope you enjoy it.

----Bwctwriter

Comments and/or constructive criticism to bwctadmin@cox.net .

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