movieguy Posted August 17, 2004 Report Share Posted August 17, 2004 Wal-Mart vs. Heaven I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers. Literally, here are the similitudes I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices. Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates Wal-Mart: Some old geezer named Peter greets you at the automatic doors Heaven: Eternal Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours Heaven: Where old people go when they expire Wal-Mart: Where old people go when the retire Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God Wal Mart: Purple-haired obese women shouting for a price check on diapers Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin Wal-Mart: Full money refund on no matter what your complaint Heaven: EDLP = Every Do-gooder lives peacefully Wal-Mart: EDLP = Every day low prices Heaven: Sam Walton -- now a resident! Wal-Mart: Sam's choice cola -- now on sale! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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