TalonRider

25. "I'll take Shakespeare for a 1000, Alex." 24. "Duct tape won't fix it." 23. "Come to think if it, I'll have a Heineken." 22. "We don't keep firearms in this house." 21. "You can't feed that to the dog." 20. "No kids in the back of the pickup, it's not safe." 19. "Wrasslin's fake." 18. "I'll have the grapefruit instead of the biscuits and gravy." 17. "Who's Richard Petty?" 16. Oh, give me the small bag of pork rinds." 15. "Deer heads detract from the decor." 14. "Spitting is such a nasty habit." 13. "Trim the fat off that steak." 12. "The tires on that truck are too darn big." 11. "I'll have the arugula and the radicchio salad." 10. "I've got it all on floppy disk." 9. "Would you like your fish poached or broiled?" 8. "My fiance' is registered at Tiffany's." 7. "Checkmate." 6. "Shes too old to be wearing that bikini." 5. "Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?" 4. "I don't have a favorite college team." 3. "Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darlin'." 2. "Elvis who?" And the number 1 thing you will NEVER hear a Southerner say: 1. "I couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today!"

An Anagram, as you know is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of anothe word or phrase. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has way too much time to waste or is deadly at Scrabble.............................. Dormitory ----------------------------------- Dirty Room Evangelist ---------------------------------- Evil's Agent Desperation --------------------------------- A Rope Ends It The Morse Code -------------------------- Here Comes Dot Slot Machines ----------------------------- Cash Lost in'em Mother-in-law ------------------------------- Woman Hitler Snooze Alarms ---------------------------- Alas! No More Z's Animosity ------------------------------------ Is No Amity Alec Guinness ----------------------------- Genuine Clas Semolina ------------------------------------- Is No Meal The Public Art Galleries ---------------- Large Picture Halls, I Bet A Deimal Point ----------------------------- I'm a Dot in Place The Earthquakes -------------------------- That Queer Shake Eleven plus two ---------------------------- Twenty plus one Contradiction -------------------------------- Accord not in it This one's truly amazing: "To be or not to be: that is the question whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune." And the Anagram: "In one of the Bard's best-thought-of-tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how live turns rotten. And for the Grande Finale: "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." - Neil Armstrong The Anagram: "Thin man ran, makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!"

D the reason my life was never the same, i could had choke her i'm scared of heights they had to ply my hand off the bars i was holding :blink: plus i never saw her before Then you wouldn't like some of the ones I've ridden Pat. I've riden them ranging from 90 ft to 420 ft high. The 2 tallest ones I've ridden, 318 and 420 ft. are both at the same park. fauxcul :blink: zoio

Not all parks use them. but they come in handy.

Pat, sorry to hear its been so long since your last ride. Coasters have come a long ways. D, I know what you mean about the admission price into parks these days. I have a season pass to my local park, which by the way is a sister park to CP. With a season pass, 3 or 4 visits and it pays for itself, the rest of the visits for the season are free. : : Most of the larger parks will also allow you to use your pass at sister parks; Six Flags at all Six Flags, Paramount parks at all Paramount parks, Cedar Fair LP at Dorney, Cedar Point and Knott's Berry Farm just to mention a few. Some of the larger parks have also adopted a Ride Reservation system. Here, you check in at the coaster you want to ride and get a time to be back and get your ride. This is especially good for the more popular or new coasters in the park. Jan

THE LATEST NEWS Top Thrills Dragster is up and running again. :blink:

Hey, D. I like your picture.

The actors and jesters are here The stage is in darkness and clear For raising the curtain And no one’s quite certain who’s play it is How long ago, how long? If only we had listened then If we’d known just how right we were going to be For we dreamed a lot And we schemed a lot And we tried to sing of love before the stage fell apart If everyone was listening, you know There’d be a chance that we could save the show Who’ll be the last clown? To bring the house down Oh no, please no, don’t let the curtain fall Well, what is your costume today? Who are the pros in your play? You’re acting a part which you thought from the start Was an honest one Well how do you plead? An actor indeed! Go re-learn your lines You don’t know what you’ve done The finale’s begun If everyone was listening, you know There’d be a chance that we could save the show Who’ll be the last clown? To bring the house down Oh no, please no, don’t let the curtain fall Crime Of The Century (1974) Supertramp

Aubade (And I Am Not Like Other Birds Of Prey) Morning at last. Every night is a fight to your waking. Dreams dancing past. Through the silence of sleep, dawn is breaking. I wait and I watch until then. And I am not like other birds of prey. And I am not like other birds of prey. And night is long. You are needing me. For undressed of song. I am there to see. That fear hold no sweat. Soft is my flight. And my eyes kill the light that attacks you. Life is my right. And in sleeps little death, I protect you. So hear, less my presence dismay. That I am not like other birds of prey. That I am not like other birds of prey. When hope is young. And your cares are few. Then I'll soar above. Keeping truth in view. And my name is love. SUPERTRAMP Supertramp

Talk about a huge breast. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. It Cool Whip time If I don't undo my pants, I'll bust. Whew, that's one terrific spread. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat. Are you ready for seconds yet? It's a little dry, do you stil want to eat it? Just wait your turn, you'll get some. Don't play witth your meat. Just spread the legs open and stuff in in. Do you really think you'll be able to handle all those people at once? You still have a little bit on your chin. Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it. I didn't expect everyone to come at once. How long will it take after you stick it in? You'll know it's ready when it pops up! How many are coming? That's the biggest one I've ever seen! How long do I beat it before it's ready? Just lay back and take it easy...I'll do the rest.

1. Never take a front-row seaat at a bris. 2. If you can't say something nice, say it in Yiddish. 3. The High Holiday's have nothing to do with marujuana. 4. And what's wrong with dry turkey? 5. A good kugel sinks in mercury. 6. Pork is forbidden, but a pig in a blanket makes a nice hors d'oeuvre. 7. Always whisper the names of diseases. 8. One mitzvah can change the world. Two will just make you tired. 9. Never leave a restaurant empty-handed. 10. The important Jewish holiday's are the ones on which alternate-side-of-the-street parking is suspended. 11. A bad matzoh ball makes a good paperweight. 12. Without Jewish mothers, who would need therapy? 13. According to Jewish dietary law, pork and shellfish may be eaten only in Chinese Restaurants. 14. If you are going to whisper at the movies, make sure it's loud enough for everyone else to hear. 15. No meal is complete without leftovers. 16. If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it. But if you can, make sure you tell everybody what you paid. 17. The only good thing more important than a good education is a good parking spot at the mall. 18. It's not who you know, it's who you know who had a nose job. 19. After the destruction of the Second Temple, God created Loehmann's. 20. WASP's leave and never say good-bye. Jews say good-bye and never leave. 21. Israel is the land of milk and honey; Florida is the land of milk of magnesia. 22. If you don't eat it, it will kill me. 23. Anything worth saying is worth repeating a thousand times. 24. Next year in Jerusalem. The year after, how about a nice cruise? 25. Spring ahead, fall back, winter in Miami. 26. Laugh now, but one day you'll be driving a big Cadillac and eating dinner at four in the afternoon. LAST, BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST: 27. There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand up and tell his mother that he is an Adult. This usaully happens at around age 45.

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that. 1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare your "Bullshit Bingo" card by drawing a square -- I find that 5x5 is a good size -- and dividing it into columns -- five across and five down. That will give you 25 1-inch blocks. 2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block: synergy, strategic, core competencies, out of the box, bottom line, revisit, take that off-line, 24/7, out of the loop, benchmark, value-added, proactive, win-win, think outside the box, fast track, result-driven, empower (or empowerment), knowledge base, at the end of the day, touch base, mindset, client focus(ed), ballpark, game plan, leverage. 3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases. 4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!" Testimonials for satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players. * "I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won." -- Jack W., Boston * "My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." -- David D., Florida * "What a gas" Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win." -- Bill R., New York City * "The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." -- Ben G., Denver * " The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed "BULLSHIT!" for the third time in two hours." -- Kathleen L., Atlanta

-Before you criticize queens, fairies, or someone who acts "too queer," consider where we'd be without them. -When Dating, do everything you can to keep the game-playing to a minimum. Once you instigate the game, someone's going to win and someone's going to lose. -Never dress more flamboyantly than Liberace. -Loosen up. Being masculine doesn't mean being a statue. Wrists were made to bend. -Being a happy man does not mean ignoring the other gender. Let women into your life.

-Doubt is a thief that often makes us fear to tread where we might have won. -If you have an important point to make don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. then hit it a third time.(Winston Churchill) -If your neckline is lower then your nipples, don't bother. You're wasting cloth. -Beware of People who think your happy becouse you haven't found the right woman....Particularly beware of a woman who thinks she might be the right woman. -If someone assumes your straight, it's not your obligation to come out to them. It's your choice.

If people dislike you because your happy, its their problem. Refuse to let them make it yours. -Don't coif before your workout. -Turn your love for men into art. Where do you think Michelangelo's David came from? - Be a good uncle. Every child needs a happy role model. -If your drunk, stay away from places that pierce or tattoo.

I thought I would share some of this with everyone here. This comes from another forum I belong to and was started by one of our members here at the other forum. I hope he continues with it here. Thanks, TalonRider The Term "Pearl of Wisdom" comes from my mom. Anytime she whould offer me advice or give me her insight, she would call them "Pearl's" reminding me that the wisdom and advice should be treated as a valuable treasure, Just as if it were a real Pearl. She also raised me to understand that sharing the "pearls" given to me need to be shared with others. This may seem far too presumptuous of me but Becouse of things that have happend in my life the last few weeks I have decided to post the bits of wisdom I have learned by myself, shared to me by others, and all other Pearls of Wisdom. Also Please Feel free to leave your own Pearls. Much of this wisdom/advice will be aimed at happy men/teen's becouse that is what I am. If some or all of my Posts offend you I make no apologies, Some of the "Pearls" i will post you may not totaly agree with and I might not agree with them but even advice we do not agree with has the power to teach us about ourselfs. So here it go's Take the Pearl's or leave them.

The following is a true story about a recent weddding that took place at Clemson University. There was huge weddding for about 300 guests. After the wedding at the rectption, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many long distances, to support them at their wedding. he especially wanted to thank the bride and groom's families for coming and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception. To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope. He said that this was his gift to everyone, and told everyone to open the envelopes. Inside the manilia envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. (He'd gotten suspicious of the two and hired a private detective to trail them weeks prior to the wedding). After he stood there and watched people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you," he turned to the bride and said "F--- you," and then he turned to the dumb founded crowed and said"I'm out of here!" He had the marriage annulled the first thing that Monday morning. While most of us would have broken off the engagement immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway as if anything was wrong. His revenge: 1) Making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest weddding and reception. 2) Letting everyone know exactly what did happen. 3) And best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputaions in front of their friends, parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, nieces and nephews, etc. This guy has gonads the size of church bells. It's his world, we just live in it.

Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are singing in the crisp, cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place. You are in total seclusion from that place called the world. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The water is clear. You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water. There now, feeling better?

First Added Rule: There is to be ABSOLUTELY NO SPAMMING OF ANY KIND. This is to be a friendly community. Violaters will be dealt with.

We all know that it isn't polite to the "F" word! There are only ten times in the "F" word has bee acceptable for use: 10. "What the F___ was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945 9. "Look at all them f___ing Indians" - Custer, 1877 8. "Any f___ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938 7. "It does so f___ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926 6. "How the f___did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC 5. "You want WHAT on the f___ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1655 4. "Where the f___ are we?" - Ameilia Earhart, 1937 3. "Scattered f___ing showers.....My a**!" - Noah4313 BC 2. "Aw c'mon. Who the f___'s going to find out?" - Bill Clinton, 1999 1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this f___ing mad." Osama bin Laden

1. You have to take out the garbage. : : 2. The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000. 3. No sofas in your restrooms. 4. External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs. 5. Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper, you're not allowed to cry. 6. James Bond movies only come out every 2 years. 7. Ribbed for her pleasure - not yours. 8. You have to wear ties. 9. You can't flirt your way out of a jam. 10. "Women and children first." :angry: :blink:

o Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. o Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you." o Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards. o When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she would appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out, o Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the a** and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it. o Birth control would come in ale or lager. o You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J. Blowme." o Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice. o The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO. o "Sorry I'm late, but I got hammered last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness. o At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car. o It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town. o Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance. Tanks would be far easier to rent. o Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps." o Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!" o Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. o On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day, too. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month. o Cops would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks. o Two words: Ally McNaked. o Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history. o The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers. o The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle. o It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank-of gas. o Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year. o When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: "You know how fast you were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place." Cop: "Nice one. That's $10 off." o Faucets would run "Hot," "Cold," and "100 proof." o The Statue of Liberty would get a bright red, 40-foot thong. o People would never taik about, how fresh they felt. o Daisy Duke shorts would never again go out of style. o Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

Welcome to the community Dewey. Glad to have you aboard. Set back, relax and enjoy.

Good one to tell someone who works in a Nursing Home, Pat. I like it. B)

Welcome to the community ShiningKnight. Sit back, relax and enjoy. : :