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The Talon House


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Everything posted by movieguy

  1. movieguy


    Hello Talon Been a long time just wanted to say hi
  2. Dean Rallies Gay Democrats by Doreen Brandt, 365Gay.com Washington Bureau June 4 2006 - 4:00 pm ET (Washington) Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean mended fences and rallied gay Democrats as the party heads into an election campaign that could see it wrestle control of Congress from Republicans. Dean was the keynote speaker Saturday night at the National Stonewall Democrats conference in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. In May he angered many gays when he told TV evangelist Pat Robertson's 700 Club this week that the 2004 platform stated "marriage is between a man and a woman.
  3. Bank ordered to pay robbery victim An Austrian bank has been ordered to pay a customer almost £10,000 compensation for being attacked and robbed in the street. The woman had picked up £20,000 cash from the Bank Austria Credit Anstalt in Vienna after ordering it by telephone. She was then attacked by two men, who sprayed pepper spray into her eyes before grabbing her bag, as she walked back to her apartment just 500 metres away. The Vienna Industrial Court ruled in favour of the woman, who claimed the men had been watching her collect the money, and found the bank partly responsible. The j
  4. Special Cheesecake One of my co-workers decided it was time to shed some excess weight. She took her new diet so seriously that she even changed her driving route to avoid her favorite bakery. One morning, however, she arrived at work carrying a gigantic cheesecake. We all scolded her, but her smile remained cherubic. "This is a very special cheesecake," she explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, 'Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious cheesecakes, let me have a parking
  5. WEEK OF JANUARY 16, 2005 LEAD STORY Is It Safe Yet? The head of security at Boston's Logan Airport revealed in December that travelers continue to appear so unfamiliar with restrictions that, three years after 9-11, his screeners still seize 12,000 prohibited items per month. Nationwide, the total since 2002 is nearly 17 million, including 2,200 guns, 79,000 box cutters and 5 million knives. And in December, a Republican congressman blasted the Department of Homeland Security for making "a joke" out of President Bush's 2003 order to compile a comprehensive list of potential domestic terror t
  6. Let see. there is Google and Excite, Lycos? oh well. at lease it wasn't Wisenut or Dogpile search it was name after
  7. Internet couple name baby Yahoo A Romanian couple who met each other on the internet have named their baby Yahoo. Nonu and Cornelia Dragoman, from Medias, say they had a virtual relationship for three months before seeing each other. Cornelia told Libertatea newspaper: "We named him Lucian Yahoo, one name after my father and the other from the computer. These were the two elements which guided my life." The baby boy was born a few days after Christmas last year.
  8. Pa. Man Sickened by Pig Roast in Basement By Associated Press January 12, 2005, 8:37 AM EST READING, Pa. -- A man who had a pig roast in his basement was ordered to remove propane tanks and other cooking equipment after he and 13 others got carbon monoxide poisoning, authorities said. Fire Marshal David A. Janiszewski said the citation issued to Rubin Cornejo, 57, does not carry a fine and added that he believes Cornejo made an honest mistake. Janiszewski said Cornejo could be fined and face further legal action if he does not remove the equipment immediately, or if he has another pig roa
  9. Telling Sad Stories Bob, Bill and Steve were attending a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top floor of a 75-story skyscraper. After a long day of meetings, they were upset to hear that the hotel elevators were broken and they would have to climb the 75 flights of stairs to reach their room. Bob said, "Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Bill can sing songs for the next 25 flights and Steve can tell sad stories for the rest of the way." At the 26th floor, Bob stopped telling joke
  10. Grandma's Meat Loaf One evening, a newlywed called her mother in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandma's meat loaf for dinner tonight and it was horrible. I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it's the one you gave me. But it just didn't come out right, and I'm so upset. I wanted this to be so special for Tommy because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong?" Her mother replied soothingly, "Well, dear, let's go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we'll figure it out." "OK," the br
  11. Man Eats Raw Duck Before Undies Save Him By Associated Press January 10, 2005, 10:43 PM EST ROGERS, Ark. -- There's a reason Mom says to always have a fresh pair of underwear. The Rogers city attorney learned this week that it's to attract rescue helicopters. Ben Lipscomb found himself lost in the flooded backwoods of Bayou Meto this week while duck hunting with his Labrador retriever, Josey Wales. He only managed to make it out by tying his white briefs to the end of his gun barrel and waving them at an Arkansas State Police helicopter. Decked out in full camouflage hunting gear, Lipsco
  12. Looking For Crisco An old guy was wandering around a supermarket calling out - "Crisco? Crisco? CRIS--CO!!" Finally, a clerk approached him and said, "Sir, the Crisco in on aisle seven." "Oh," the old guy said, "I'm not looking for Crisco. I'm calling my wife." "Your wife's name is Crisco?" the puzzled clerk asked. "Hell, no," the old guy said. "I only call her that when we come to the supermarket." "Oh? Well, what do you call her when you're not in the supermarket?" asked the clerk. "Lard Arse!" replied the old guy.
  13. Where's Mom and Dad? A little boy came to the breakfast table and asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and Dad?" Grandma replied, "They're still in bed." The little boy snickered and started eating his breakfast. At lunch the boy asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and Dad?" Grandma replied, "They're still in bed." The boy snickered again and started eating his lunch. At dinner the boy asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and Dad?" Grandma replied, "They're still in bed." The boy laughed out loud boisterously then started to eat his dinner. The grandma then said to the boy, "You've laughed every time I'v
  14. Stay of Execution An attorney got home late one evening after a very taxing day trying to get a stay of execution for his client, Wilbur Wright, who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the state governor had failed and he was feeling tired and depressed. As soon as he got through the door, his wife started on about, "What time of night do you call this? Where the hell have you been?" and so on. Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a very large whisky and headed off to the bathroom for a long hot
  15. Grandpa There is a merry family gathering with all generations around the table. The children (naughty little rascals) sneak a Viagra tablet into Grandpa's drink. After a while, Grandpa excuses himself because he has to go to the bathroom. When he returns, however, his trousers are wet all over. "What happened, Grandpa?" asked his concerned children. "Well," he answers, "I had to go to the bathroom to pee. So I took it out, but then I saw that it wasn't mine, so I put it back."
  16. Woman Accused of Stealing Gavel From Judge By Associated Press January 6, 2005, 4:59 PM EST FARMINGTON, Mo. -- An woman is accused of stealing the gavel from the judge overseeing her case. Tammy Lynn Price, 28, was charged Tuesday with misdemeanor stealing for an incident that happened in October. Authorities gave this account: Associate Circuit Judge Thomas Ray was beginning his day when he noticed several items missing -- pens, a calculator, an executive calendar -- and a wooden gavel handed down from his grandmother. Ray recalled seeing the items and the end of the previous day's docke
  17. Whistle While You Work A young doctor, doing his residency in OB/Gyn, felt embarrased while performing a female pelvic exam. To cover his embarrassment, he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. While he was performing this exam on a middle aged lady, she suddenly burst out laughing. This only furthered his embarrassment. "Just what do you find so amusing, madam?" he snarled. "I'm so sorry, doctor," she replied, "but the song you were whistling was...'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner'!"
  18. Showing Off His First Kilt In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is permitted to purchase and wear his first kilt. A couple of weeks before his important birthday, a young lad went to a tailor shop and found the material he wanted for his first kilt. He took the material to the tailor and said, "I'd like ye to make me a kilt with this material here and, if ye don't mind, I'd like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings!" So, the tailor took the material and promised to call the young lad when
  19. That's Not Your Name It was the first day of the school year and the teacher was asking her first grade students their names. "What is your name?" she asked a little boy in the first row. "Peter Break," the little boy gleefully answered. The teacher said, "Young man, I don't think that's your name. Now, what is your real name?" Again, the little boy responded, "Peter Break." Frustrated, the teacher went to the principal's office and asked, "Mr. Jones, do we have a Peter Break here?" The principal replied, "Heck, we don't even have time for a coffee break here!"
  20. Game Warden A farmer and his friend were leaning on a fence chatting. Suddenly, the local Game Warden showed up and insisted on checking the farmer's property and, in particular, a certain field. The farmer refused to allow him access to the field. The Warden insisted he had the right, saying, "I'm the Game Warden and I have a card! This card allows me to go in." Before the farmer could stop him, the Warden was off into the field. Soon, a horrifying scream pierced the air and the Warden, being chased by a massive bull, reappeared running for his life. "Help, help!" he cried. The farmer lau
  21. Phone Problems An elderly woman contacted her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called, and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her dog always moaned right beforehand. A telephone company repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or the senile elderly woman. He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found: 1. The
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