movieguy

Chapter 32 of The Closing is now posted a very good chapter http://www.josephmen.com/

Chapter 31 of The Closing is posted, if you have not read 30 you better hurry and catch up lol http://www.josephmen.com/

Kayden 2 Chapter 8 - Dreamless- by Ryan Keith is now up http://excoboard.com/exco/index.php?boardid=5252

Chapter 30 of The Closing is posted http://www.josephmen.com/

Chap 2 of Hello' Is That Me? is posted

a bio by me, telling on myself, it title is Hello' Is That Me? http://excoboard.com/exco/index.php?boardid=5252

The Ranch by Miguel Chapter 22 to 24 is now link at the site under Miguel Corner http://excoboard.com/exco/index.php?boardid=5252

Chapter 29 of The Closing is posted http://www.josephmen.com/

The Ranch by Miguel Chapter 19 to 21 is now link at the site under Miguel Corner http://excoboard.com/exco/index.php?boardid=5252

Hello alan2d2004 and welcome

Not bad D i got a littlle better 157

News of the Weird WEEK OF FEBRUARY 20, 2005 LEAD STORY In January, days after a crackdown by Mexican President Vicente Fox on corruption at the La Palma jail near Mexico City, a full-page ad appeared in the daily newspaper Reforma, supposedly placed by higher-profile inmates, who, according to the ad, were now suffering under "subhuman" conditions, treated "like dogs, like animals, like we are worthless ... scum of society." What the government had done was to confiscate the drug lords' and organized-crime leaders' big-screen TVs, computers and cell phones (which they were using to retain control of their operations from behind bars), break up their prison rackets, and even end their personal pizza deliveries. [Reuters, 1-31-05] The Eternal Temptation The Roanoke (Va.) Times reported on Jan. 17 that a Wytheville police officer had to rescue a 9-year-old boy who, with time on his hands waiting for a school bus on a "bone-deep cold" morning, decided to find out what would happen if he licked a metal pole. While awaiting someone to bring warm water to free the boy, the officer and the kid had the following conversation: "Have you learned anything?" "Uh-huh." "Are you going to do this again?" "Uh-uh." [Roanoke Times, 1-17-05] Mainstreaming Sex Workers In 2002, Germany legalized prostitution, primarily for tax revenue and to make sex workers eligible for health care benefits, and at the same time, it specifically declined to exempt brothels from those places of employment at which the jobless might be required to work in order to maintain their benefits. In December, there was a press report of a 25-year-old unemployed waitress complaining that she had been called for an interview at a brothel and feared that if she declined the job, her benefits would be cut. Germany's Federal Labor Office said it would not do that, but a Hamburg lawyer said there have been cases of unemployed female call-center workers being offered telephone sex-line jobs via the government. [Daily Telegraph (London), 1-30-05; Reuters, 1-31-05] Recent Alarming Headlines (1) "Fireworks Explode in Pants, Burn Boy" (a January story in New Orleans' Times-Picayune about an 11-year-old boy improvidently carrying bottle rockets in his pants while holding a sparkler). "Cleric Suspect Misses Hearing Due to Long Toe Nails" (a January Reuters dispatch from London, reporting that radical Islamic rabble-rouser Abu Hamza al-Masri found it too painful to walk to court). "Cops: Mom Used Hammer on Son Over Homework" (a January Associated Press report in which police charged a St. Louis woman with excessive supervision of homework, which allegedly also included pliers). [Times-Picayune, 1-5-05] [Reuters, 1-6-05] [Associated Press, 1-5-05] The Entrepreneurial Spirit! # (1) Sehnsucht restaurant opened in Berlin recently, catering to people with eating disorders, with a tasty cuisine for anorexics, to encourage weight-gain, but also serving bulimics, some of whom will quickly disgorge the tasty meal. (2) And frog farmers in the village of Bo Talo, Thailand, struggling with a glut in the local market, developed an export product for those who don't require their frogs to be fresh: frog-in-a-can (which they hope will catch on as chicken and duck sales falter because of avian flu). [Agence France-Presse, 1-12-05] [China Post-AP, 1-19-05] # The Japanese company Trane KK recently introduced the "lap pillow," a large foam headrest, in the shape of a woman's kneeling lower torso so that the target audience of men can rest their heads on "her" legs. It was probably created in response to an earlier product from the company Kameo of a pillow with a "man's" arm extending downward, targeted for women to hug the arm as they drift off to sleep. [bBC News, 12-13-04] Our Awesome Animal Friends A landmine-detection outfit in Mozambique has upgraded from explosives-sniffing dogs to giant African Hamster rats, according to a December Agence France-Presse dispatch, because the lighter, more plentiful rats have noses that are just as sensitive and don't suffer dogs' need for affection and constant reassurances. And Northern Arizona University Professor Con Slobodchikoff, who spoke to the Albuquerque Journal in December about his two decades of elaborate, patient, desert research, said that prairie dogs he has studied at three locations in the Southwest speak in different dialects but would likely understand each other, can even invent sounds for new things, and perhaps can even gossip. [Agence France-Presse, 12-4-04] [Arizona Republic-Albuquerque Journal, 12-4-04] # In a tourist park next to the zoo in Chiang Mai, Thailand, handlers have toilet-trained seven elephants. In photos published in Bangkok's The Nation in January and now available on the Internet, a 5-year-old elephant is shown using a giant white, Western-style concrete toilet as if he were human, including using his trunk to pull a cord to flush. [Agence France-Presse-The Nation, 1-19-05] # Recurring Themes: Michael Henson's dog became the latest one to "drive," after he pawed the gearshift of Henson's idling truck, sending it through the front of the O'Reilly Auto Parts store in Springdale, Ark., in December. And Matthew Harper's hunting dog became the latest one to shoot someone, stepping on a shotgun's trigger and blasting Harper in the arm, near Upper Klamath Lake in Oregon in October. And Leana Beasley's rottweiler assistance dog became one of the latest to save her client's life by (as per training) nose-punching a telephone's 911 button upon seeing Beasley suffer a grand mal seizure and then barking furiously into the receiver (Richland, Wash., October). [CNN-AP, 12-29-04] [News-Register (McMinnville, Ore.), 10-12-04] [CNN-AP, 10-29-04] Creme de la Weird Paul Kelvin Hardy, 40, was arrested in Martinsburg, W.Va., after he broke into a couple's home on New Year's Eve, robbed them of $540, held them at gunpoint for more than hour, and then, when he noticed a piano in the house, ordered the husband to play two songs while Hardy sang. After the songfest, Hardy suggested they order pizza and meanwhile began playing with his gun. The siege ended, and police were called, when Hardy joined a long list of people chronicled in News of the Weird for accidentally shooting themselves. [Herald-Mail (Hagerstown, Md.), 1-4-05] Least Competent Criminals Not Cut Out for a Life of Crime: (1) Earmon Wilson, 44, walked in to police headquarters in Buffalo, N.Y., in January and confessed to two burglaries at his apartment house, even though he wasn't a suspect; he said his conscience was bothering him, which is also what he said in October 1994 when he unsolicitedly turned himself in for robbing a Buffalo bank. (2) In Cincinnati in December, Ronald Godfrey pleaded guilty to a burglary, which he was forced to attempt alone because, according to a prosecutor, his brother James (also a burglar) refused to work with him, saying Ronald was too dumb. In the December burglary, Ronald accidentally hit himself in the head with a crowbar, splattering the scene with blood, which police traced back to him. [buffalo News, 1-26-05] [Dayton Daily News-Cincinnati Post, 12-14-04] Readers' Choice In a widely publicized move in January, Oklahoma state Sen. Frank Shurden proposed legislation to bring back the "sport" of cockfighting, which the state outlawed in 2002. To appease critics, Shurden, apparently serious, suggested that the roosters wear tiny boxing gloves instead of the razor cleats on their legs and also wear electronic-sensitive vests in order to record hits so as to non-lethally determine the winner of a match. [Chicago Tribune-AP, 1-28-05] The Continuing Crisis A 29-year-old woman who was killed in a one-car crash on New Year's Day in Rohnert Park, Calif., was "wearing" a live boa constrictor as a fashion accessory, which friends later said she liked to do. And two hospitals affiliated with Duke University notified about 4,000 patients in January that they had accidentally "cleaned" surgical instruments in a petroleum-based hydraulic fluid (leaving them slightly sticky even though they were subsequently sterilized before use). And Purdue University student Danlei Chen was arrested in January and charged with stabbing her husband during a sexual episode following the couple's having watched the movie "Basic Instinct," which has a famous similar scene. [bay City News, 1-3-05] [Raleigh News-Observer, 1-7-05] [WLFI-TV (Lafayette, Ind.), 1-6-05] Thanks This Week to Tom Barker, Chewy Chong, Stefan Creaser, Michael Kozlowski, Susan Staples, Ted Hering, Eli Christman, Mindy Cohen, Denise Fortner, Anne Devins, Joshua Dale, Barbara Heckart, Peter Smagorinsky, Philip Urban, and Rick Roberts, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors. (Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNews@earthlink.net or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.) COPYRIGHT 2005 CHUCK SHEPHERD

New Jersey Sues Blockbuster Over Ads Fri Feb 18, 3:06 PM ET By Ellis Mnyandu NEW YORK (Reuters) - Blockbuster Inc. (NYSE:BBI - news), the largest U.S. video renter, has deceived customers with its new "No More Late Fees" rental policy, New Jersey Attorney General Peter Harvey said on Friday in announcing a lawsuit filed against the company "Blockbuster boldly announced its 'No More Late Fees' policy, but has not told customers about the big fees they are charged if they keep videos or games for more than a week after they are due," Harvey said in a statement. Officials in several other states, including Blockbuster's home state of Texas, were also keeping a close eye on developments surrounding Blockbuster's new movie rental policy, people familiar with the matter said. A spokeswoman for New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer declined to comment. In a statement outlining the complaint filed in Superior Court in Mercer County, Harvey accused Blockbuster of failing to disclose key terms of the policy and said some stores did not follow the policy but continued to charge late fees. "Blockbuster's ads are fraudulent and deceptive," he added. Blockbuster spokeswoman Karen Raskopf said the company was surprised that Harvey's office "never directly contacted us about this" before filing the suit. She said Blockbuster stood by its new policy and has done everything to explain to customers how it works. "We are disappointed he took this action because we believe the end of late fees program is a terrific program, and we've received tremendous feedback from our customers and employees," Raskopf said. Blockbuster -- currently locked in a bitter takeover battle for No. 2 U.S. movie renter Hollywood Entertainment Corp. (Nasdaq:HLYW - news) -- unveiled the policy in December in an attempt to reinvigorate its business as competition escalates. Blockbuster at the time had said that under the new plan customers would have a one-week grace period after a rental's due date. If a movie or game were not returned during that week, the customer would be charged for the purchase of the item. If the item was returned within 30 days, the customer would be able to receive an account credit but would be charged a restocking fee of $1.25. Harvey said in some instances the restocking fee can be as high as $4.50. He said the state is seeking restitution for Blockbuster customers whose overdue rentals were converted to sales, were charged restocking fees or charged late fees by a nonparticipating store. The state also seeks civil penalties of up to $10,000 for each violation of New Jersey's Consumer Fraud Act. Tom Dougherty, managing director and senior strategist at brand development firm Stealing Share, Inc., said fallout from the new rental policy could tarnish Blockbuster's brand in the eyes of its customers if the company were to be found culpable. Blockbuster, based in Dallas, has been facing increasing competition from discount retailer Wal-Mart Stores Inc (NYSE:WMT - news). and online companies like Netflix Inc. (Nasdaq:NFLX - news). Blockbuster in October had cut its fee for online DVD rentals, in response to a similar move by Netflix. Its shares were up 8 cents at $9.16 on the New York Stock Exchange Copyright © 2005 Reuters Limited. All rights reserved. links

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner Naked? Sat Feb 19, 8:14 AM ET By Claudia Parsons NEW YORK (Reuters) - The diners arrived at a nice Manhattan restaurant on a cold February night and stripped off coats, hats, gloves and scarves. They didn't stop there. Photo Reuters Photo Skirts, shirts, pants, underwear and stockings all ended up stashed in plastic bags by the bar as the patrons got naked for the monthly "Clothing Optional Dinner." "It's exciting to be in a restaurant nude," said George Keyes, 65, a retired junior high school English teacher. Nude yes, but not unadorned. Keyes, a lifelong nudist, wore a necklace, earrings and a black leather "genital bracelet" with red studs. And white sneakers. The dinner was started by a group of New York nudists who wanted something a bit more elegant than the wilderness getaways and beach resorts they generally frequent. "When you go away on holiday it's more you're roughing it in the woods, whereas this is a really nice restaurant," said Keyes, a member of gay nudist group Males Au Naturel, or MAN. John Ordover set up the dining club about a year ago, recruiting members through word of mouth and the Internet. "Next month is our Easter bonnet event, where everybody has to come wearing an Easter bonnet," said Ordover, a heavyset man with a jovial smile and glasses. SOMETHING TO SIT ON ... Around 30 people arrived for the buffet dinner -- organizers specified no hot soup on the menu -- most of them middle-aged, several married couples, some singles, the youngest perhaps in their 30s. "They're a good class of people, they're no different to you or I," said John Bussi, owner of the midtown restaurant. "They're not hurting anybody, it's not a wild Roman orgy." Health regulations mean staff must remain clothed even if they wanted to join in. And diners must bring something to sit on -- a towel or, for discerning women, an elegant silk scarf. The restaurant's manager covered the windows to maintain privacy at the strictly private party. Extra heaters kept the temperature at a comfortable level for nudity. Ordover's wife, Carol, said they first went on a naturist holiday five years ago and she found the experience empowering. But, she explained, it's "the least sexual thing you can possibly imagine." "Men in nudist resorts are striking a bargain. They get to see as many naked women as they like as long as they are polite and look them straight in the eye," she said. Sherry Stafford, a petite and elegant 51-year-old with blond hair and high heels, brought brochures and videos advertising her travel business, Internaturally Travel. One of the flyers was for a resort called "Hedonism II" whose slogan is "Be wicked for a week." But she said nudists should not be confused with swingers. "Wearing clothes and going to church does not protect you from moral evil," Stafford said, lamenting what she saw as a tendency to demonize people just because they like to be naked. Sandy, a slim woman in her 40s, said she never felt self-conscious about her body and was comfortable dining in the nude. But she did admit to being a bit more nervous before a recent naked yoga class attended by around 25 people. "Everyone was a little concerned there would be people looking around but the good thing is nobody really was," she said, standing at the restaurant's bar before dinner. "If you try to maintain a yoga position you're going to fall if you start looking around -- and that's more embarrassing than anything else." yahoo.news.com

A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying,"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims. "Good," she replies, "Get your own damn blanket!"

A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said: "Stay here and be very QUIET. I'll be across the field." A few minutes later the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son. "What's wrong?" the father asked. "I told you to be quiet." The boy, answered; "Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. I didn't move a muscle when the skunk climbed over my shoulder. I closed my eyes and held my breath when the wasp stung me. I didn't cough when I swallowed the gnat. I didn't cuss or scratch when the poison oak started itching. But when the two squirrels crawled up my pant legs and said, 'Should we eat them here or take them with us?' ..............Well, I guess I just panicked.

Police hunt late night nudists Police in a town in Montenegro have had dozens of complaints about naked men taking late-night walks in temperatures as low as minus 15C. Police in Berane say the men were fully naked and appear to emerge only at night - usually in pairs. Officers say they have no idea who the nudists are and have increased patrols in the area to try and catch them. Local media speculated the men could be walking naked either after losing a drunken bet or for health reasons. Many experts believe it is good for the health to spend time in the frozen snow, especially after a hot sauna. www.ananova.com

Chapter 28 of The Closing is posted http://www.josephmen.com/

I'm waiting for the far right to say we need to ban penguins from zoo because children don't need to see loving same sex penguin i got my answers for them ban the whole zoo, it don't stop with the penguin and it don't stop in your own goody goody two shoe family

Indian bride invites substitute groom An Indian bride invited volunteers from the audience after her groom deserted her at the last minute. One man stepped forward and the couple were married within minutes, reports the Hindustan Times. The original groom had been on the point of being married at Shivshankar Dham in Mirzapur district when he got cold feet. He claimed the bride, Suggi, was not the same girl he had been introduced to before the arranged marriage and fled. The bride's male relatives caught up with the runaway groom but, after a scuffle, he escaped. Suggi then announced that anyone willing to marry her was welcome to come forward and occupy the vacant seat beside her. One man, Balram, of Maklakher in Mirzapur district, immediately volunteered and Suggi's parents quickly approved their new son-in-law. www.ananova.com

Natural Occurrence A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math, and science. One day, one of the wives of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The members of the tribe are shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gave birth to a white child. Now, explain to me what happened!" The professor replied, "Chief, you're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion." The chief was silent for a moment, and then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about the sheep and I won't say anything more about the baby."

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go. "From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked. When say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed. And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night." The next night he came home from work and yelled, "BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off. When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled "BELL 3!", they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!" "What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband? "ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."