Worth Repeating

[movieguy]

Worth Repeating

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower

than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster

than you is a moron. - George Carlin

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother,

she started walking five miles a day when she

was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where

the hell she is. - Ellen DeGeneres

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No

pain, no pain. - Carol Leifer

I would love to speak a foreign language but

I can't. So I grew hair under my arms instead.

- Sue Kolinsky

The reason most people play golf is to wear

clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

- Roger Simon

A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers

of 25-watt bulbs in business. - Shelley Berman

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze

pilots wore helmets. - Dave Edison

If law school is so hard to get through, how

come there are so many lawyers? - Calvin Trillin

Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches.

I wish I could. It's like having a little pet

for your face. - Anita Wise

I think men who have a pierced ear are better

prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain

and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together

without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken

place. - Johnny Carson

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie"

until you can find a rock. -Will Rogers

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching

television by candlelight. - George Gobel