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The Talon House

The Pretzel Hold


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The Pretzel Hold

A few years ago at the World Amateur Wrestling Championship, there was a pairing of an experienced and undefeated Russian heavyweight wrestler going up against an inexperienced, upstart American heavyweight.

The main reason for the Russian wrestler's success was a hideous hold he had developed called the 'pretzel hold'. He had pinned every wrestler he had faced using this hold. It was called the 'Pretzel hold' because when the hold was applied, his opponent's body would resemble the shape of a pretzel. Once applied, no wrestler had ever been able to escape the hold.

When the match between the Russian and the American began, it was evident that the American had superior quickness, but the Russian was stronger and was just laying in wait for the American to make a mistake so he could apply the pretzel hold. Sure enough, that opportunity soon came to play and the Russian grabbed the American and applied the hold. The crowd groaned and the American wrestler's trainers had to look away in horror as they couldn't bear to watch their wrestler's certain demise.

Unbelievably, once the Russian tried pinning the American and the referee had reached the count of two, the American escaped the hold and with what can only be described as superhuman strength, grabbed the Russian, made a hold reversal, and pinned the Russian.

After the match, the media surrounded the American wrestler and one reporter asked him, "How did you do it? You've never faced this Russian wrestler before and he applied the pretzel hold on you. No one has ever escaped the hold and you escaped it with apparent ease."

The American wrestler replied, "Well, I was in so much pain that I was trying to find the referee to submit the match, but when I was trying to find him all I could see was a pair of balls right in front of my face."

"I sensed an opportunity and bit them as hard as I could."

"They were mine."

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