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The Talon House

The Tall And The Short Of It


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Remember Randy Newman’s song, "Short People"?

The song’s notorious lyrics included the opinion that "short people got no reason to live."

Like most of Newman’s ditties, "Short People" was meant as a joke, but no matter how many times the songwriter explained his satiric intentions, there was no appeasing those who felt the song was malicious.

One advantage women have over men is that they tend to be less obsessed with measurements. Sure, women worry about their weight and, perhaps, the size of their breasts, but women tend to be less concerned about their height, and with good reason. A woman isn’t likely to be rejected as a potential romantic partner because she’s short in stature. However, a woman might reject a man for the same reason.

Men tend to be more interested in numbers which may explain why they are still regarded as being more adept than women at math. Men are raised to be competitive, and are more likely to think that size matters. When asked their age, boys often count every month ("Seven and a half") as if they believe the extra time they’ve spent drawing breath gives them a superior edge over their younger peers. They may rattle off statistics concerning an athlete’s performance, and brag that "Mine’s bigger than yours" when comparing their toys. The blame lies with a society that continues to promote the sexist notion that a man is a conqueror, and a woman is the prize. In a world with that mind-set, a short woman is petite, but a short man is a shrimp.

A heterosexual man is more likely to be sensitive about his height than a gay guy, but some masculine queers share the belief that height is somehow equated with masculinity. Some short men may opt out of dating all together, unwilling to accept partners who tower over them. Still others compensate for their lack of height by being overly aggressive, even obnoxious.

A concern with height stems from insecurity, and the man who takes pride in being tall may have as many doubts about his self-worth as the feisty short guy.

But height, or a lack thereof, is meaningless. It has no connection to a man’s character, worth or attractiveness. Some of the longest shadows have been cast by some of the shortest men. They were and are giants because they have talent, charisma, courage, intelligence, or other attributes. It’s fairly common knowledge that most movie stars are short, although thanks to both lifts and PR spin, actual data isn’t always possible to obtain. Mel Gibson is rumored to stand 5' 8", but the larger than life characters he generally plays would suggest he’s taller. James Cagney was 5' 6". So is Al Pacino, Peter Falk, Dustin Hoffman, and music legend Bob Dylan. Scandal plagued celebrities Robert Blake and Roman Polanski are both 5' 5". Alan Ladd was 5' 4 ½ " and he stood in a ditch when sharing the screen with his taller leading ladies. Gandhi was 5' 3", and T.E. Lawrence (of Arabia) was 5' 5 ½ ". As for the infamous, the Marquis de Sade was 5' 6" and Charles Manson is 5' 5".

But height is relative, anyway. Movie star Ralph Fiennes, who is tall enough at 5' 11", looked like a Lilliputian when standing next to 6' 8" Brad Garrett of TV’s Everybody Loves Raymond when the two appeared on The Tonight Show a few years ago. Besides, there’s no telling how they measure up below the belt. As you may have heard, big things come in small packages. Yes, there is a lingering rumor that short men have bigger penises, but one’s height has no relationship to p**** size. Short men can have big penises, and so can tall ones. Actress Dana Delaney who dated both Liam Neeson (6' 4" ) and Willem Defoe (5’9 ½") once said that if those two tall men were together in the same room, there wouldn’t be space to accommodate anyone else because both are so well-endowed. On the other hand, Aristotle Onassis, who was only 5'5", is believed to have had at least 10 inches of prime beef dangling between his legs.

Character and personality are what count in life, and they’ll also determine the quality of your relationships. Even if you’re considered short, stand tall and you’ll disprove Randy Newman’s song and its claim that "Short people got nobody to love."

by Brian W. Fairbanks staff writer for date.info the webzine for date.com

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