The News Parrots

[movieguy]

A guy is having marital problems. He and the

wife are not communicating at all and he's

lonesome, so he goes to a pet store thinking a

pet might help.

The store he happened into specialized in

parrots. As he wanders down the rows of parrots

he notices one with no feet. Surprised he

mutters "I wonder how he hangs onto the perch?"

The parrot says "With my pr*ck, you dummy."

The guy is startled and says "You certainly talk

well for a parrot."

The parrot says "Of course, I'm a very well

educated parrot. I can discuss politics, sports,

religion, most any subject you wish."

The guy says "Gee, you sound like just what I was

looking for."

The parrot says "There's not much of a market for

maimed parrots. If you offer the proprietor $20

for me, I'll bet he'll sell me."

The guy buys the parrot and for three months

things go great. When he comes home from work

the parrot tells him Clinton said this, the A's

won, the Giant's lost, the pope did so and so.

One day the guy comes home from work and the

parrot waves a wing at him and says "Come in and

shut the door."

The guy says "What's up?"

The parrot says "I don't know how to tell you

this, but the mailman came today. Your wife

answered the door in her negligee and he kissed

her right on the lips."

The guy says "Oh, A momentary flight of passion."

The parrot says "Well, maybe, but then he fondled

her breasts."

The guy says "He did??"

The parrot says "Yes. Then he pulled her negligee

down and started sucking on her breasts."

The guy says "My God, what happened next?!?"

The parrot says "I don't know. I got a hard-on

and fell off my perch."