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Actual Signs That We Have Found


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Actual Signs That We Have Found


A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands.

At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss a car payment.

At A Laundry Shop: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?

At a Music Store: Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner.

At a number of US military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel.

At a pizza shop: 7 days without pizza makes one weak.

At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.

At a Towing Company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.

At a Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition.

At an Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?

At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.

At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.

Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.

Car Lot: The best way to get on your feet....Miss a car payment.

Church sign: To remove worry wrinkles, get your faith lifted.

Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: Hello. May we pick your nose?

English Sign in German Cafe: Mothers, Please Wash Your Hands Before Eating.

Gym: Merry Fitness and a Happy New Rear!

In a Beauty Shop: Dye now!

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