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The Talon House

What's In A Name


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This good looking man walks into an agent's office in Hollywood and

says "I want to be a movie star."Tall, handsome and with experience on

Broadway, he had the right credentials."

The agent asked, "What's your name?"

The guy said, "My name is p**** van Lesbian."

The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into

Hollywood, you are gonna have to change your name."

"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I

will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."

The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will

NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like p**** van Lesbian! I'm telling

you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent


"So be it! I guess we will not do business together," the guy said and he

left the agent's office.


The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a

letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awestruck, who would possibly

send him $50,000? He reads the letter enclosed.

Dear Sir,

Five years ago, I went to your office wanting to become an actor in

Hollywood, and you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to

make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never

make it in Hollywood with a name like p**** van Lesbian. After I left your

office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to

change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed

with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so

the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice.


Dick van Dyke

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