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The Talon House

Captain Morgan For President!


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PHILADELPHIA (Wireless Flash) -- John Kerry and George W. Bush might have some competition for president from a man who is 369 years old, carries a sword by his side and calls himself "Captain."

The "Captain" in question is rum company icon Captain Morgan, who accepted the presidential nomination from Americans For A Better Party (AFBP) during the Democratic National Convention.

The newly-formed political party was created because founders thought that politics were becoming too serious and wanted people to socialize in a real "party" atmosphere free from politics.

Morgan's agenda differs just a little from Kerry and Bush.

He says he would establish Mardi Gras as a national holiday, shorten the work week to four days and shorten the work day to 4 p.m. so people can make it to happy hour on time.

The Captain admits that he likes his worthy opponents Kerry and Bush but wants to leave the politics to them and "...leave it to me for a relief from it."


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