Jump to content
The Talon House

Wal-Mart vs. Heaven


movieguy

Recommended Posts

Posted

Wal-Mart vs. Heaven

I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers. Literally, here are the similitudes I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices.

Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates

Wal-Mart: Some old geezer named Peter greets you at the automatic doors

Heaven: Eternal

Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours

Heaven: Where old people go when they expire

Wal-Mart: Where old people go when the retire

Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God

Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone

Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God

Wal Mart: Purple-haired obese women shouting for a price check on diapers

Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin

Wal-Mart: Full money refund on no matter what your complaint

Heaven: EDLP = Every Do-gooder lives peacefully

Wal-Mart: EDLP = Every day low prices

Heaven: Sam Walton -- now a resident!

Wal-Mart: Sam's choice cola -- now on sale!

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...