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The Talon House

International Relations


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On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the

following people are stranded:

Two Italian men and one Italian woman

Two French men and one French woman

Two German men and one German woman

Two Greek men and one Greek woman

Two English men and one English woman

Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman

Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman

Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman

Two Irish men and one Irish woman

Two American men and one American woman

One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the

middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits

with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is

cleaning and cooking for them.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the

English woman.

The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started

swimming to another island.

The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy /liquor store/ restaurant/

laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees


their store.

The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a

distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it

gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However,


satisfied because the English aren't having any fun.

The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American

woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true

nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do

anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division

of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her

last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do,


how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her

problems, and why didn't they bring a cell phone so they could call 911

and get them all rescued off this god-forsaken deserted island in the

middle of nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping.

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