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The Talon House

Man Rules


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1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2. It is okay for a man to cry under the following circumstances:

a. When a heroic dog dies to save it's master.

b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

c. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".

d. When your date is using her teeth.

3. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. Fainting

4. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem --- you didn't see nothin. :(

5. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

6. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

7. Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone; hang up if necessary.

8. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.

9. Women who claim to "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much beer as the other sports watchers.

10. Women don't get the 3 Stooges, stop trying to explain what's funny about them. Shock 2

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