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Blown Away


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Blown Away


Mothers often tell their daughters that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Mothers inclined to dispense romantic advice to their gay sons might advise their boys to aim a little lower.

Men love getting blow jobs and gay guys love to give them. The cliché is that women regard fellatio as more duty than delight, but, for every Madonna who told Rolling Stone she bows her head for no man, there's a woman like rocker Liz Phair who took the words out of many a gay guy's mouth when she sang, "I want to be your blow job queen." The lyrics to Heart's "Barracuda" are too cryptic to determine where the Wilson sisters stand on this issue, but the song, named after the fish described as "voracious" and "pikelike," clearly alludes to the act. A fish could never bring me "down, down, down, down on my knees," but the barracuda like p**** has done it many times.

How could it not?

The tentpole of masculinity, the erect p**** absolutely throbs with authority and power. Skyscrapers, towers, and jumbo jets all pay it homage, and every weapon from the sword and the cannon to the nuclear warhead is cast in its image. And make no mistake, the p**** is a weapon. It can taunt and tease, subdue and oppress, and does it all as it simultaneously provides pleasure. Proud, omnipotent, the p**** commands respect.

Like every gay boy, I cherish the memory of the first time I went down on a man, but as a first timer, I gave no thought to technique. I was driven purely by passion. I was blown away, but was he?

If you want to get ahead at giving head and become the Blow Job Queen you were born to be, start with Going Down: The Instinct Guide to Oral Sex by Ben R. Rogers and Joel Perry. It's only 135 pages, short enough to read again and again, and you'll want to because with every lesson you'll be one step closer to providing world class lip service.

But reading about it is no substitute for doing it. Practice makes perfect, so if an opportunity arrives to put your mouth into action before your book learning is complete, adhere to the following rules:

  • Cover your teeth with your lips.

  • Control your gag reflex. This is easily achieved when you really want that dick in your mouth. Passion can carry you a long way.

  • Keep your saliva flowing to lubricate the p****.

  • No matter what they call this glorious act, suck, suck, suck - don't blow, suck!

  • When bobbing your head up and down on his p****, vary the speed to avoid monotony and to prolong the pleasure for both of you.

  • Take his c*** out of your mouth for brief periods to rest your jaw, but keep your tongue busy by licking the head and balls while you masturbate the shaft with your hand.

  • Make eye contact. Stare into his eyes to let him know that this act is about him, and not just his jewelry. Feed his ego. After all, he's feeding you a gourmet meal second to none.

  • Don't sit on your hands. Gently fondle his balls, his a** (if it's accessible), chest, arms, and any other place that will excite him (and you).

The best blow jobs are given and received with patience. Don't rush it. Set aside an hour or two (and more if you can) and make the BJ the centerpiece of your evening. However, there's no denying that one of the advantages a BJ has over other forms of sex is that it can be performed "on the go." You can always give a quickie in an elevator, under the table at a restaurant, in a car, a theater, a restroom, a secluded corner at a party, even on an airplane. And you can keep your clothes on.

But can the one you suck keep his condom off? The San Francisco Department of Public Health sparked controversy several years ago by claiming there is "zero evidence you can catch HIV from sucking or getting sucked." Their findings were based on a study of gay men in the queer capital of the world. But why gamble with your health and possibly your life? Always be cautious. Know your partner and his HIV status well before deciding it's safe to bypass the rubber or to swallow his semen. And keep in mind that you can still get other sexually transmitted diseases, including herpes and gonorrhea, from oral sex, so using a condom is highly recommended.

As for you studs who hold heaven between your legs yet are insecure about the size of your power tool, stop worrying. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and so is the size that makes a man "well-hung." The ten inch p**** does exist but we're more likely to encounter one in a p**** film than have it touching our tonsils. The average man's p**** is five to six inches long. Width varies, but no matter how long or wide, the majority of penises can fit in most mouths (and vaginas, too, for you bi and straight guys into that sort of thing).

There are factors other than size to consider. Some queens like an uncircumcised p****, while others prefer cut cocks. The overall shape and design, the aesthetic appeal, is also important. Personally, I prefer a well-rounded, mushroom shaped head. But let's not overlook the most important factor of all: the man behind the p****. The late Milton Berle was legendary for possessing a massive tool, but photos of Brad Pitt published in Playgirl several years ago suggest that the blonde beauty has a five incher at best. But Pitt's p**** has a lifelong pass to penetrate my mouth whenever it pleases, while Uncle Miltie need never have bothered to unzip.

You may not have heard any of this from your mother, but she surely told you it's better to give than to receive. She may not have been referring to blow jobs, but gay guys can be excused for thinking that's what she meant. If the way to a man's heart is through his zipper, the way to a gay guy's heart is through his mouth. It is an act of worship, but one that requires no sacrifice, only a desire to please, both ourselves and the men we go down on.

by Brian W. Fairbanks

Writer date.info, the Webzine for Date.com

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