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movieguy

Monkey In A Bar

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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. The bartender tells him that he can't have a monkey in the bar.

The guy says "You won't even notice that this monkey's here.

"Well alright then." the bartender replies.

About a half hour later, the monkey gets restless and starts running amok, knocking drinks over and tearing pictures off the wall. Then he jumps on the pool table and eats the cue ball. Finally his owner catches him and both are kicked out of the bar.

About a week later the guy returns with the monkey. Bartender says to him "Get that damn monkey out of here! He nearly wrecked the place last time."

The guy tells him its all right "I had a long talk with the monkey. Just give him some peanuts and he will behave. I promise.

"OK, but he better!" the bartender says, and he gives the monkey some peanuts.

The monkey picks one up, sticks it up his a**, pulls it out,and then eats it. Picks up another one and does the same thing.

After a few more times the bartender walks over and says "I admit he's behaving well but why does he keep sticking the peanuts up his a** before he eats them?"

"Well" the man replies, "after he ate that cue ball, he measures everything before he eats it!"

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