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Harry Exam


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A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade, too!" Ms. Brooks finally had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal the situation. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tell her, "I think Harry can go to the third grade." Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.

Ms. Brooks: "What does a cow have four of that I only have two of?"

Harry hesitates, then says, "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Harry: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: "What starts with C and ends with T and is hairy, oval, delicious, and contains a thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

Ms. Brooks: What goes in hard and pink and then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes open really wide and before he sould stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.

Harry: "Bubblegum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a women do sitting down, and a dog do on three legs?" The principal's eyes open really wide and before he can stop the answer...

Harry: "Shake hands."

Ms. Brooks: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I?' sort of questions, okay?"

Harry: "Yep."

Ms. Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."

Harry: "Tent."

Ms. Brooks: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first."

Harry: "A wedding ring." The principal is starting to look restless and a bit tense.

Ms. Brooks: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, I feel good."

Harry: "Nose."

Ms. Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."

Harry: "Arrow."

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with F and ends in K that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal let out a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade. I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

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