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The Talon House

A Cure For Snoring


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A Cure For Snoring

A woman had a big old German Shepherd that snored so loudly she could never hear her soap operas in the afternoon.

Over coffee one morning she happened to mention the problem to her neighbor, who leaned over and whispered confidentially that she had just the solution. "The next time it happens, tie a ribbon around his testicles and he'll stop," said the neighbor. "He won't even wake up.

That afternoon, during the first few minutes of As the World Turns, the dog came in and flopped down in front of the TV. Within three minutes he had flopped onto his back and begun snoring deeply, so the woman ran to her sewing room and grabbed a red ribbon.

Sure enough, the neighbor was right: when she did what she was told to do, the dog stopped snoring, and never even woke up.

That very night was her husband's bowling night, and he came home very late and very drunk. He fell into bed, rolled onto his back, and began to snore loudly, and as his wife lay there sleepless she thought again about her neighbor's suggestion.

Fetching a blue ribbon from her sewing box, she tied it around her husband's testicles. He fell silent and never stirred.

Later on that night the husband woke up to take a leak. Still pretty drunk, he staggered down the hall, let the dog out, and went to pee.

Looking down at his p****, he noticed the blue ribbon, and when he let the dog back in, he noticed the red one.

"Rex," he says blurrily, "I don't know where we've been....but at least we took First and Second Place.

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