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The Talon House

Getting Money!


movieguy

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Posted

A sign in the local Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is

installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to

withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

-MALE PROCEDURE -

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required distance to align car window with

the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate

card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. O pen car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive

distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the

inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of

checkbook

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot

provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

{ I don't use an ATM card }

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