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The Talon House

TalonRider

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Everything posted by TalonRider

  1. The following is a true story about a recent weddding that took place at Clemson University. There was huge weddding for about 300 guests. After the wedding at the rectption, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many long distances, to support them at their wedding. he especially wanted to thank the bride and groom's families for coming and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception. To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift fro
  2. Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are singing in the crisp, cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place. You are in total seclusion from that place called the world. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The water is clear. You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water. There now, feeling better?
  3. First Added Rule: There is to be ABSOLUTELY NO SPAMMING OF ANY KIND. This is to be a friendly community. Violaters will be dealt with.
  4. We all know that it isn't polite to the "F" word! There are only ten times in the "F" word has bee acceptable for use: 10. "What the F___ was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945 9. "Look at all them f___ing Indians" - Custer, 1877 8. "Any f___ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938 7. "It does so f___ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926 6. "How the f___did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC 5. "You want WHAT on the f___ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1655 4. "Where the f___ are we?" - Ameilia Earhart, 1937 3. "Scattered f___ing showers.....My a**!" - Noah4313 BC 2. "Aw c'm
  5. 1. You have to take out the garbage. : : 2. The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000. 3. No sofas in your restrooms. 4. External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs. 5. Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper, you're not allowed to cry. 6. James Bond movies only come out every 2 years. 7. Ribbed for her pleasure - not yours. 8. You have to wear ties. 9. You can't flirt your way out of a jam. 10. "Women and children first." :angry: :blink:
  6. o Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. o Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you." o Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards. o When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she would appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out, o Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the a** and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it. o Birth control would come in ale or lager. o You'd be expected
  7. Welcome to the community Dewey. Glad to have you aboard. Set back, relax and enjoy.
  8. Good one to tell someone who works in a Nursing Home, Pat. I like it. B)
  9. Welcome to the community ShiningKnight. Sit back, relax and enjoy. : :
  10. *You try to enter your password on the microwave. *You think of three espressos as "getting wasted". *You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years. *You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. *You email your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he emails you back"What's for dinner?" *Your daughter sells Girl Scout cookies via her web site. *You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year. *You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted
  11. TalonRider

    The Frog

    A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $15,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure, I have this", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll h
  12. Sorry, you won't be able to ride Top Thrills Dragster. It blew apart and is not running at this time. :angry:
  13. Welcome aboard UrukhiaRaider. Make yourself at home. Admin.
  14. Glad you like it. Not an original idea though.
  15. Let me be the first to welcome you to the forum. Visit often and make yourself at home. Admin
  16. Pretty good. I like that..
  17. Dear Visitor, Please be forewarned that this board may contain offensive material of an adult nature. If you are under the age of 13, PLEASE leave now. The goal of this forum is to promote fun amongst the members and visitors. If you decide you wish to join this forum, please indicate your age. If you do not want to put your age in your profile, please PM talonrider with your age. I will not reveal your age to anyone else. It will be for my information ONLY. Thanks and enjoy yourself, Jan a.k.a. talonrider
  18. And so we sail towards the dawn Joining those who gently mourn for you It’s only because of you Friends may come and friends may go The only friend I need to know is you It’s only because of you Mighty castles, lonely kings Hear the ragged children sing it’s you It’s only because of you He who smiles at lofty schemes Stems the tide of broken dreams is you It’s only because of you It’s only because of you And when the storms have died away Only truth will live to say it’s you It’s only because of you And when the darkness flies away Only love will shine to say it’s true
  19. Welcome to the new home of TalonRider. Sit back and enjoy your time here.
  20. Welcome Movieguy. Glad you could join. Hope you have fun while your here.
  21. http://home.comcast.net/~talonrider/wsb/index.html
  22. TalonRider

    Rules

    Welcome to The Talon House. I'm happy that you decided to pay a visit to my little corner of the 'net. I want to let you know what my vision for this site is and then maybe you can help me contribute toward that, and maybe make it your vision as well. The Talon House is a place where anyone is welcome, no matter what characteristics they may have, provided that these few guidelines are observed: 1) This forum is not a "pick-up joint." Some of our members may be minors in the eyes of the law and it is much appreciated if we keep that in mind. 2) Everyone is here to have fun. 3) Person
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