TalonRider

Bad Names (Part 3) 26. Jagoff Jakinovish 27. Fuzzy Hooks 28. Juan Person 29. Kenya Cook 30. Lavoris Jones 31. Mariola Arriola 32. Minor Wisdom, U.S. Circuit Court Judge in Tennesee 33. Neanon Beamon 34. Opehelia Pullett 35. Oral Jones 36. Layne Lane 37. Paige Turner 38. P. Yu 39. Randy Radish 40. Salmineo Jones 41. Constance Farder 42. Tina Teenie 43. Ali Ali 44. Ben Tongue 45. Bertha Yam 46. Adorable Goody - Leesburg, AL 47. Darling Lemon - Nahunta, GA 48. Cleveland Brown - Newton, IL 49. Fang Fang - Smithville, NY 50. Crayonella Smith - Harisville, RI

Nice use of the icon, Phil. devil-winks

Good one, Phil.

: : I guess the one guy didn't have to use it that bad, now did he? devil-winks

Welcome to The House Cram. Sit back and enjoy your stay. Glad to have you aboard.

These are outrageous, Pat. I love'em.

Again, !!!!!!

Bad Names (Part 2) 11. Abubakar Gas - NJ 12. Agnes Large - Wyoming 13. Ahmet Semen - Rhode Island 14. Bolivar Shagnasty - Texas 15. Candy Barr - Vermont 16. Charles Horse 17. Allen R. Toothaker 18. Henry Chin Goo 19. Dr. Needle 20. Emma Piggie 21. Richard Bodyfelt 22. Forest Lady 23. Gene Poole 24. Harry F. Twickler 25. Irish Green

The Bad Name Of The Day Master List - Part 1 1. Harden Long - Wisconson 2. A Hah - California 3. A Goodgirl - Missour 4. Ho Phat - NY 5. A M. Bowling - Tennesee 6. Harry Beavers - Utah 7. Ginger Clam - LA 8. A Toke - Alaska 9. Anita Holm - Maryland 10. A T. Last - Kansas

This thread is for Bad Names. The rules are simple, first the name must be real and not made up. Second, if there is a story behind it, please tell us as we all could use a good laugh. Third, the name can be suggestive, but not out right foul. Just so you know, I got this idea from a morning radio show in Philidelphia. Here is 2 examples from the show. 1. In the Philly area, there was a man who did some outside work for his boss. The Boss asked him if he would do some work for his neighbors. He agreed. He was introduced to the neighbor and his 2 sons, Storm and Wicker. That's not the bad part yet. The last name is Baskett. 2. In the military, we know that soldiers are usually called Privates. In the Air Force, they are know as Airman, while in the Navy they are called Seaman. In the Navy there is a person known as Seaman Swallow. I think you get the idea. I will periodically add names to this list.

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas). 2. Sorry Officer, I didn't realise my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are you Andy or Barney? 6. I thought you had to be in realatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee Officer! Thats terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us knows. 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. 12. When the Officer says, "Gee Son...Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer, your eyes looked glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

Thats GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!

A lot of people in the world like that.

-As Gay men we have all been the victims of unjust Stereotyping, Don’t continue the injustice by Stereotyping others by a group. As a Great Irish Thinker once said “He Who judges by the group is a F**k Wit.”

-If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything. - Before you lend your boyfriend money, consider this formula. Maximum money you'll lend pere month should equal the lesser of (a) the amount you can afford never to see again or (B ) your monthly income, divided by 100, times the number of years you've been together. -Straights are often uncomfortable with public displays of our affection. Don't censor your behavior because of their insecurities, but still be respectful. -When hugging a guy you like, let him let go. If he doesn't let go, it could be the start of something beautiful, or at least steamy.

:blink: That my friend is a time joke, I'll laugh when I have time. kiss my a**

In looking to the future, depending upon how the membership of The Talon House grows, IF needed, I will add a chat room to the house.

Don't feel too bad Pat, We have a piece of equipment I use at work that I hate to use. It only goes 30 ft high and is wobbly. That scares me more than a coaster does. devil-gasp

Look at me now, the shadow of the man I used to be Look through my eyes and through the years of loneliness you’ll see To the time in my life when I could not bear to lose a simple game And the least of it all was the fortune and the fame But the dreams seemed to end just as soon as it had begun, was I to know? For the last thing of all that was on my mind, was the close at the end of the show The shadow of a lonely man, feels nobody else. In the shadow of a lonely, lonely man I can see myself (Looking out of nowhere, Looking out of nowhere) But the sound of the crowds when they come to see me now, is not the same And the jest of it all is I can’t recall my name But I’ll cling to a hope, till I can’t hold on anymore, anymore And for all the acclaim I am all alone and I see as I look through the door The shadow of a lonely man there’s nobody else In the shadow of a lonely, lonely man I can see myself Look at me know, a shadow of the man I used to know. PYRAMID The Alan Parsons Project

Had a dream, I was born To be naked in the eye of the storm And now it’s standing right in front of me What’s it going to do to me, who knows? Had a dream it was time To be taken to the front of the line Well that is not a place you wanna be Sleeping with the enemy, you know I don’t care what the future brings Give a damn about anything I’d be fine if they’d only leave me alone But it’s time, gotta take a stance ‘Cause I won’t get a second chance And I know now I have to make it alone Had a dream, it was war And they couldn’t tell me what it was for But it was something they could lie about Something we could die about, you know Anytime, anyplace When you look that man in the face Well it is not a face you want to see Sleeping with the enemy, you know Mary, can you hear me? Can you tell me what it’s all supposed to mean Holding out a photograph of all that I have seen I wish I could hold you. I wish I could hold you. Had a dream, it was time To be a witness at the scene of the crime Well, that is something you can analyze. Something you can criticize, who knows So we wait, hesitate And we’re making such a mistake Oh, whatever can the matter be? Sleeping with the enemy, you know I don’t care what the future brings, Give a damn about anything I’d be fine if they’d only leave me alone But it’s time, gotta take a stance ‘Cause I won’t get a second chance And I know; now I have to make it alone In The Eye of the Storm Rodger Hodgson (formally of Supertramp)

Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece:"I can't remember the names of all the Clubs that we went to." Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson no being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me." New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: " I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, which ever comes first." Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with Promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for four years, not Princeton." Lou Duva, on the Spartan training regimine of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships: "I've won at every level, except college and pro." 1992 - Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: " We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where to play." 1982 - Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." 1981 - Tommy Lasorda, Dodger manager, when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back." 1991 - Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburns football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet." 1986 - Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the ref's: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating." 1991 - Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' he said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.' "

25. "I'll take Shakespeare for a 1000, Alex." 24. "Duct tape won't fix it." 23. "Come to think if it, I'll have a Heineken." 22. "We don't keep firearms in this house." 21. "You can't feed that to the dog." 20. "No kids in the back of the pickup, it's not safe." 19. "Wrasslin's fake." 18. "I'll have the grapefruit instead of the biscuits and gravy." 17. "Who's Richard Petty?" 16. Oh, give me the small bag of pork rinds." 15. "Deer heads detract from the decor." 14. "Spitting is such a nasty habit." 13. "Trim the fat off that steak." 12. "The tires on that truck are too darn big." 11. "I'll have the arugula and the radicchio salad." 10. "I've got it all on floppy disk." 9. "Would you like your fish poached or broiled?" 8. "My fiance' is registered at Tiffany's." 7. "Checkmate." 6. "Shes too old to be wearing that bikini." 5. "Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?" 4. "I don't have a favorite college team." 3. "Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darlin'." 2. "Elvis who?" And the number 1 thing you will NEVER hear a Southerner say: 1. "I couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today!"

An Anagram, as you know is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of anothe word or phrase. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has way too much time to waste or is deadly at Scrabble.............................. Dormitory ----------------------------------- Dirty Room Evangelist ---------------------------------- Evil's Agent Desperation --------------------------------- A Rope Ends It The Morse Code -------------------------- Here Comes Dot Slot Machines ----------------------------- Cash Lost in'em Mother-in-law ------------------------------- Woman Hitler Snooze Alarms ---------------------------- Alas! No More Z's Animosity ------------------------------------ Is No Amity Alec Guinness ----------------------------- Genuine Clas Semolina ------------------------------------- Is No Meal The Public Art Galleries ---------------- Large Picture Halls, I Bet A Deimal Point ----------------------------- I'm a Dot in Place The Earthquakes -------------------------- That Queer Shake Eleven plus two ---------------------------- Twenty plus one Contradiction -------------------------------- Accord not in it This one's truly amazing: "To be or not to be: that is the question whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune." And the Anagram: "In one of the Bard's best-thought-of-tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how live turns rotten. And for the Grande Finale: "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." - Neil Armstrong The Anagram: "Thin man ran, makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!"