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Vice President Dick Cheney Shoots Easter Bunny


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Vice President Dick Cheney Shoots Easter Bunny


Casper, Wyoming (APE) - Millions of children worldwide awoke with tears of anguish and frustration and empty Easter baskets as they coped with the tragic news that the Easter Bunny was dead. He was slain early this morning in the predawn hours by Vice President Dick Cheney who was enjoying an Easter hunting expedition at a rabbit hunting farm south of Casper, Wyoming. The vice president had reportedly slain over 150 rabbits in the twilight hours before the incident occurred, and was packaging them as gifts for friends and families for their Easter dinners.

The local sheriff was reportedly investigating the incident. Witnesses at a local Easter vigil ceremony disputed a claim that no alcohol was involved in the incident. The vice president was reportedly witnessed going through the communion line at least three and possibly four times late the previous evening, and another witness stated that she saw Cheney stumble and catch himself as he left the service.

"I think I know just how he feels," said longtime friend and personal lawyer Harry Whittington. "This must just be devastating to have this happen to him again." Whittington is reportedly flying to Casper to represent Cheney should legal complications arise.

The White House was contacted, and spokesperson Scott McClellan stated: "The president is saddened by this news, and out of respect will be canceling the traditional Easter egg roll on the White House lawn which was to be held in support of gay parents this year. Regrettably the president was not going to be able to attend anyway. As there appears to be an ongoing investigation into the incident it would not be appropriate to comment further. The president wants to assure America that Easter will go on, and he urges parents to say whatever they have to, to help their children through this."

although it may seem obvious to some, I feel obligated to say that this is a joke and not a real news story

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