movieguy

Do-It-Yourself Castration xPosed, December 2004 By AP Staff RENO, Nev. A 50-year-old Reno man who was hospitalized after he castrated himself told police he learned of the procedure on the Internet and did so to lower his libido. The man, whose name was not released, called 911 at about 1:30 a.m. Monday and asked for help because he could not stop the bleeding from a self-castration operation, police said. Reno police and medics responded to the man's home and he was taken by ambulance to the hospital. Washoe Medical Center officials cited privacy issues on why they could not release any information on the man, including his condition. But police said hospital officials confirmed Wednesday the man successfully castrated himself. "The man obviously needs some sort of counseling," Reno police Lt. Ron Donnelly told the Reno Gazette-Journal. www.xposed.com

A Giant Baby Boy xPosed, December 2004 By SAO PAULO, Brazil A woman in northeastern Brazil has given birth to what one doctor called a "giant baby," a boy weighing 16.7 pounds. Francisca Ramos dos Santos, 38, gave birth to the healthy boy named Ademilton on Tuesday at a hospital in Salvador, 900 miles northeast of Sao Paulo. He was the largest baby born at the Albert Sabin Maternity Hospital in its 12-year history, the hospital said. "Obviously the baby was born by Caesarean section," hospital director Rita Leal said. "Both mother and baby are doing just fine." Ademilton "could truly be considered a giant baby, for he was born weighing what a six-month-old-baby normally weighs," pediatrician Luiz Sena Azul told the Correio da Bahia newspaper. Santos has four other children _ ages 9, 12, 14, and 15 _ who were born weighing between 7.7 pounds and 11 pounds. "She knew Ademilton would be a big baby, but not this big" Leal said. "She, her husband and the hospital staff were caught by surprise." The average weight for newborns in Brazil is 7.7 pounds for boys and 6.6 pounds for girls. www.xposed.com

Listerine Drinker Arrested for DUI xPosed, December 2004 By AP Staff ADRIAN, Mich. A woman who admitted drinking three glasses of Listerine mouthwash had a blood-alcohol content more than three times the legal limit when she was arrested for drunken driving, police said Friday. The woman, identified by police Sgt. Mike Shadbolt as 50-year-old Carol A. Ries, was arrested Sunday night and released on personal bond the next day. She was to be arraigned late next week on a misdemeanor charge of operating under the influence of liquor, Shadbolt said. [id3ad-300x250] Police also found an open bottle of Listerine in Ries' car, and asked Lenawee County prosecutors Friday to authorize a warrant charging her with having an open intoxicant in a motor vehicle, Shadbolt said. Calls to the prosecutor's office were not answered after business hours. Ries showed signs of intoxication after her car rear-ended another vehicle Sunday, Shadbolt said. She told police she had not consumed any alcohol and also passed a Breathalyzer test, but "there was something not quite right about her," Shadbolt said. She failed a second test using different equipment and, under further questioning, admitted to drinking three glasses of Listerine earlier in the day, Shadbolt said. According to Listerine manufacturer Pfizer Inc.'s Web site, original formula Listerine contains 26.9 percent alcohol, more than four times that of many malt liquors. Other varieties contain 21.6 percent alcohol. No telephone listings for a Carol Ries could be found. www.xposed.com

Welcome Lugnutz

Eeeeeeeewwwwwwww! Wed Jan 19, 2005 8:40 AM ET LONDON (Reuters) - The makers of the handy spray lubricant WD-40 proudly list 2,000 uses for their product, from unsticking rusty screws or squeaky bicycle chains to polishing frying pans. But British police have found another -- keeping the public from snorting cocaine off toilet lids in bars. Police in the English city of Bristol said Tuesday they have been advising pub and nightclub owners to spray the colorless lubricant on toilet seats and other flat surfaces in the lavatory that customers often use to snort drugs. Apparently, cocaine and spray lube don't mix. "A chemical reaction takes place with the cocaine that causes it to congeal and become a mess so it's unusable," a police spokesman said. "It's one very small, very cheap way in which you can very seriously restrict the amount of drug use in your premises." Constable Graham Pease, a liquor licensing officer, said he discovered the trick a few years ago while discussing with pub owners how to reduce drug use on their premises. "We were discussing with licensees how we could keep cocaine from being snorted from surfaces," he told Reuters. "It came about that we wanted to spray something on surfaces that cocaine would stick to. And somebody mentioned WD-40." The new use seems to have taken its makers by surprise. "Its not meant to be ingested. It says so clearly on the can so we wouldn't advocate it for that purpose. But people will use it how they will," said a British spokeswoman for the San Diego, Calif-based WD-40 Co. At Bar Excellence in Bristol, deputy manager Julian Barraud said it was part of the drug fighting arsenal. "It does work. It's one of the tricks that we've got to try and tackle the problem," he said. © Reuters 2005. All rights reserved. www.reuters.com

Simpson's Daughter Charged With Fighting By Associated Press January 19, 2005, 1:10 PM EST MIAMI -- O.J. Simpson's 19-year-old daughter was arrested after she refused to stop yelling at officers who had been summoned because of a fight outside a basketball game involving her old prep school, police said. Sydney Simpson was charged Saturday with resisting arrest without violence, punishable by up to a year in jail, and disorderly conduct, which carries a possible 60-day jail sentence. Simpson yelled profanities at the officers called to Ransom Everglades School after a boys' varsity basketball game against Gulliver Prep, according to a Miami police report. Sydney Simpson graduated from Gulliver last June, and her brother, Justin, 16, attends the school. Officers asked Simpson to quiet down three times as a crowd of more than 15 people gathered, police said. "Because of the defendant's disorderly conduct, it prevented this officer from conducting an investigation," according to the report by Officer Francisco Villarreal. While she was being taken into custody, she slapped another officer's hand, leading to the resisting arrest charge, the report said. Two teenage girls told police that Simpson hit them in the face, but they declined to press charges, authorities said. Yale Galanter, a Simpson family attorney, said the dispute outside the game was a "cat fight" that Sydney Simpson had resolved by the time police arrived, but officers escalated the situation. He did not say what instigated the conflict, but said he believed Simpson acted appropriately. "After the police were told that nobody wants to press charges ... Sydney is arrested for disorderly conduct?" Galanter said. "It doesn't take a legal genius or a great legal mind to figure out that the event was over and that it was the police who caused the charge to be had." Asked to respond to Galanter's comment, police Lt. Bill Schwartz said: "For her safety and the safety of all concerned, the officers decided to remove her from the situation. Clearly this upset her even more, and she slapped one of the cops in the hand. Not a good idea." Simpson is attending college in Boston. She signed a notice to appear at a date to be set later by court, Schwartz said. O.J. Simpson, the former football star, broadcaster and actor, moved to Florida after he was acquitted of murder in the slayings of the children's mother, Nicole Brown Simpson, and a companion, Ron Goldman, in California in 1994. Copyright © 2005, The Associated Press www.newsday.com

Chapter 12 of Country Bumpkin is now posted at http://excoboard.com/exco/index.php?boardid=5252

Little Patrick For his birthday little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it." Next day the father sees little Patrick heading out the door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you tell mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no fricking bike .

Bank ordered to pay robbery victim An Austrian bank has been ordered to pay a customer almost £10,000 compensation for being attacked and robbed in the street. The woman had picked up £20,000 cash from the Bank Austria Credit Anstalt in Vienna after ordering it by telephone. She was then attacked by two men, who sprayed pepper spray into her eyes before grabbing her bag, as she walked back to her apartment just 500 metres away. The Vienna Industrial Court ruled in favour of the woman, who claimed the men had been watching her collect the money, and found the bank partly responsible. The judge said the bank manager should have invited the woman "into a discrete, secluded room" instead of giving her the money in full view of other customers. www.ananova.com

Special Cheesecake One of my co-workers decided it was time to shed some excess weight. She took her new diet so seriously that she even changed her driving route to avoid her favorite bakery. One morning, however, she arrived at work carrying a gigantic cheesecake. We all scolded her, but her smile remained cherubic. "This is a very special cheesecake," she explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, 'Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious cheesecakes, let me have a parking spot directly in front of the bakery', and sure enough," she continued, "the ninth time around the block, there it was!"

so very true

A Hero Story! by Sterling is posted at http://www.deweywriter.com/

yeah and i was rooting for them wait til next season :TongueOut22.gif' />2.gif' />:

Sperm race TV show launched in Germany A new reality TV show has been launched in Germany to find the man with the fastest sperm. The sperm will be attracted to the finishing line by a chemical lure identical to that emitted by the female egg in the womb. The aim is to find Germany's most virile man in a new reality show being dubbed Sperm Race. Twelve men, including two celebrities and a 'health freak', will take part in the show set to be aired later this year. The show will follow the contestants as they make donations at a sperm bank. The frozen sperm will then be transported to the studio in Cologne. Borris Brandt, 43, head of production company Endemol in Germany, rejected protests that the show was unethical, saying no human eggs would be fertilised. "The main prize in the competition is a Porsche, not a baby. It's actually a very scientific programme and the topic of fertility is massive in Germany at the moment," he said. The sperm will be released into a test tube in which a chemical substance will draw the fluid towards it The winner will be pronounced by a team of doctors including a gynaecologist, an andrologist and a urologist. Brandt added: "The programme isn't immoral. We're only testing, we're not conceiving." www.ananova.com

Woman jailed for making ghost noises A woman has been jailed in Italy for wandering around an old castle at night making ghost noises. The 42-year-old Polish woman was caught after the owner of the castle-cum-hotel, near the town of Meran in South Tyrol, complained to police. The owners said squeaking floor boards, slammed doors and footsteps had been scaring off guests for weeks. But the 'ghost' turned out to be 'the wife of an employee at the castle who was annoyed at the way the owners were treating her husband. High-tech video equipment captured the woman walking up and down the corridors. A judge in the north Italian province has sentenced her to four months in jail for harassment. www.ananova.com

Chapter 25 of The Closing is posted http://www.josephmen.com/

WEEK OF JANUARY 16, 2005 LEAD STORY Is It Safe Yet? The head of security at Boston's Logan Airport revealed in December that travelers continue to appear so unfamiliar with restrictions that, three years after 9-11, his screeners still seize 12,000 prohibited items per month. Nationwide, the total since 2002 is nearly 17 million, including 2,200 guns, 79,000 box cutters and 5 million knives. And in December, a Republican congressman blasted the Department of Homeland Security for making "a joke" out of President Bush's 2003 order to compile a comprehensive list of potential domestic terror targets. The list so far (of 80,000 sites) is termed by critics both too large (unlikely targets inexplicably included) and too small (imaginable targets inexplicably left off). [boston Herald, 12-20-04] [uSA Today, 12-8-04] City Council Tedium In December, a California appeals court ordered a re-hearing on a zoning case because the petitioner, who was denied an extension of business hours, had not had a fair chance to argue to the Los Angeles City Council. A videotape of the hearing showed that, during petitioner's presentation, council members talked on the phone or among themselves, wandered around the room, and read their mail, and the appeals court ruled that "due process" requires them to pay attention. And Councilman Dennis Pate of Eagle Lake, Fla., said in January that a formal rule was needed to prohibit spitting at meetings, in that a former city manager allegedly tried to unload on at him at a December session (but she denied it). [Associated Press, 12-31-04] [Associated Press, 1-4-05] Scenes of the Surreal (1) Following the Dec. 5 Newtown, England, charity Santa Claus race (in which 4,000 Saint Nicks in full costume competed), police had to use noxious spray and nightsticks to break up a brawl of about 30 Santas when the festive spirit got out of hand. (2) Researchers at the Royal Veterinary College in Hatfield, England, told New Scientist magazine in December that they're studying why ostriches are able to run so fast (about 20 mph) even though they are heavy (over 200 pounds) and awkward-gaited. The team's work: They observe 15 ostriches running on treadmills. [bBC News, 12-9-04] [sky News-New Scientist, 12-22-04] Finer Points of the Law In Durham, N.C., in December, gang member Robert D. Johnson was sentenced to 15 years in prison for shooting off the genitals of a fellow Blood who was trying to leave the group. The jury rejected an even harsher penalty, for "malicious castration," settling on "nonmalicious castration" because of evidence that Johnson actually shot the man in the leg but that the bullet just happened to exit his thigh and hit his p****. [Raleigh News and Observer-AP, 12-17-04] The Litigious Society # Mr. Jerry Colaitis of Old Brookville, N.Y., died of complications from spinal surgery in 2001, and the next year, his family filed a $10 million lawsuit blaming everything on the Benihana Japanese restaurant chain. Benihana hibachi chefs engage in colorful hand acrobatics while skillfully slicing and grilling food at tableside, and on the night in question, Colaitis flinched at a shrimp the chef had tossed his way. The flinch jarred two vertebrae in his neck, which eventually required surgery and then a second surgery, after which complications developed, leading to Colaitis' death. In November 2004, a judge cleared the case for trial. [New York Law Journal, 11-23-04] # In February 2004, two 11-year-old boys cut classes at the Ronan Middle School in Ronan, Mont., found some alcoholic beverages, and hours later died of hypothermia in a snow-covered field. In November, the parents of the two filed a lawsuit, asking $4 million in damages from the local public schools for not preventing the truancy. School personnel should have known, according to the lawsuit, that the kids were of Native American heritage, with a high rate of alcoholism in the community, even though neither boy had any alcohol-related incident on his record. [Missoulian, 11-6-04] # Ladell Alexander, serving a 16-year sentence for molesting a child in a public library in South Bend, Ind., filed a lawsuit in 2004, asking for $4 million in damages, charging that his predicament is actually the fault of the library's security company because officers should have seen him with the boy in a staff-only area of the building and kicked him out before he could do anything bad. (A federal judge dismissed the lawsuit in December.) [south Bend Tribune, 12-9-04] # In February 2004, a 20-year-old woman stole OxyContin and Xanax from The Medicine Shoppe pharmacy in Wood River, Ill., and gave some to her boyfriend, Justin Stalcup, 21, who died of an overdose the next day. In December, Mr. Stalcup's family filed a lawsuit against The Medicine Shoppe, claiming that the reason for their son's death was that the pharmacy didn't safeguard the drugs from the thief. [belleville News-Democrat, 12-17-04] The Entrepreneurial Society Victoria Pettigrew started VIP Fibers three years ago in Morgan Hill, Calif., and according to a December 2004 report by the Knight Ridder News Service, has an enthusiastic clientele of pet owners who pay her to make specialty items (blankets, pillows, scarves) from their animals' hair ("Better yarn from your pet than a sheep you never met"). For example, client Bob Miller of Carmel, Calif., brought in enough collected sheddings of his golden retriever for a blanket, two couch pillows, a small teddy bear, a scarf and a picture frame. Pettigrew has also created items from the hair of cats, sheep, alpaca, bison, rabbits, hamsters, cows and horses. [buffalo News-Knight Ridder, 12-31-04] Least Competent Criminals Floyd Elliot, 22, was charged in December in Independence, Mo., with filing a false police report by claiming an assailant carved the vulgar slur "fag" on his forehead. Police were immediately suspicious because the letters were backward (as if made by someone looking in a mirror). Also in December, when Nicholas J. Valeri, 19, was arrested for allegedly passing a counterfeit $20 bill at a Wendy's restaurant in Hempfield Township, Pa., he claimed innocence, saying that he inadvertently acquired the bill shortly before, while selling $240 worth of marijuana. [Associated Press, 12-28-04] [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, 12-2-04] Recurring Themes Several times over the years in News of the Weird, bad things (including death) have happened to drivers who make the poor decision (usually while inebriated) to stop along the side of a highway at night to urinate but then fail to deal properly with the various dangers. Usually the dangers involve wandering out into traffic or falling over an embankment, but in November, Henry Turley, 77, started to exit his pickup truck to urinate near Kingsbury, Ind., and when rescue workers arrived 20 minutes later, Turley's truck was in a ditch, and Turley was lying on his back with his left foot caught between the wheel well and the left front tire and his right foot caught between the driver's side door and the front seat. (A nearly empty bottle of whiskey was on the passenger side.) [south Bend Tribune, 11-16-04] Awesome! In December, a wheel from a tractor-trailer on Interstate 84 in Idaho (glowing hot from an overheated bearing) came off, rolled across a frontage road, and started several fires after it crashed into the home of Charisse Stevenson. According to a report in the Times-News (Twin Falls, Id.), Stevenson, seeing her 10-year-old son trapped by flames on the second floor of their home and separated by the red-hot wheel, moved it out of the way (though it weighs 250 pounds), scooped up her son (135 pounds), and carried him to safety. Afterward, of course, Stevenson was found to be unable to lift either the wheel or her son. [Times-News (Twin Falls, Id.), 12-10-04] Unclear on the Concept Dr. Mary Holley, an obstetrician who heads Mothers Against Methamphetamine in Albertville, Ala., offered this assessment of meth at a December task force meeting in Chattanooga, Tenn. (presumably intending to discourage use of the drug): "The effect of an (intravenous) hit of methamphetamine is the equivalent of 10 orgasms all on top of each other lasting for 30 minutes to an hour, with a feeling of arousal that lasts for another day and a half." (But after about six months' use, the effects turn negative, she said.) [Associated Press, 12-3-04] Thanks This Week to Russ Northrup, Ed Chebret, Bryant Black, Dave Hobbs, Bill Ozinga, Dick Fuehrer, and Tom Barker, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors. (Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNews@earthlink.net or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.) COPYRIGHT 2005 CHUCK SHEPHERD

Happy Birthday Brian: The Power Within Chapter 5 is now posted http://www.deweywriter.com/

Let see. there is Google and Excite, Lycos? oh well. at lease it wasn't Wisenut or Dogpile search it was name after

Internet couple name baby Yahoo A Romanian couple who met each other on the internet have named their baby Yahoo. Nonu and Cornelia Dragoman, from Medias, say they had a virtual relationship for three months before seeing each other. Cornelia told Libertatea newspaper: "We named him Lucian Yahoo, one name after my father and the other from the computer. These were the two elements which guided my life." The baby boy was born a few days after Christmas last year.

Men Who Got Sick in Prison Get $1.2M By DAVID B. CARUSO Associated Press Writer January 12, 2005, 12:26 AM EST PHILADELPHIA -- A federal jury has awarded $1.2 million to two former inmates who developed abscess wounds from a drug-resistant skin infection that swept through a county jail in 2001 and 2002. The jury ruled Monday that Bucks County prison officials failed to get the men prompt medical treatment. Kevin Keller, 27, and Benjamin Martin, 23, said they begged for help for weeks as their infections spread. Martin said he suffered nerve damage in both legs after the infection rooted in his hip. Keller said prison staff ignored his requests for a doctor as the infection traveled through his body. County officials said they're considering an appeal. "We do not believe the evidence supports the verdict for either plaintiff, in any amount," county solicitor Guy Matthews said. The cases were just two of several filed by prisoners and guards who alleged county officials didn't act quickly enough to contain an outbreak of methicillin resistant Staphylococcus aureus. A federal judge last month authorized a class-action lawsuit against the county on behalf of all current prisoners at the jail. Copyright © 2005, The Associated Press www.newsday.com

Pa. Man Sickened by Pig Roast in Basement By Associated Press January 12, 2005, 8:37 AM EST READING, Pa. -- A man who had a pig roast in his basement was ordered to remove propane tanks and other cooking equipment after he and 13 others got carbon monoxide poisoning, authorities said. Fire Marshal David A. Janiszewski said the citation issued to Rubin Cornejo, 57, does not carry a fine and added that he believes Cornejo made an honest mistake. Janiszewski said Cornejo could be fined and face further legal action if he does not remove the equipment immediately, or if he has another pig roast in his home. Copyright © 2005, The Associated Press www.newsday.com

Granny mistakes superglue for eyedrops A grandmother ended up in hospital when she confused her eye drops with superglue. Terry Horder, 78, reached for the medicated drops in her fridge but got the glue instead. Nurses used vegetable oil to try to remove the glue which fused Mrs Horder's eyelashes together and seeped under the lids. Mrs Horder, from Wurtulla, Australia, said: "There was a pool of glue against the eyeball itself but lucky it couldn't dry because of the water on the eye. "They soaked my eyes for around five minutes and then tried to prise the lashes apart, which wasn't pleasant. But about 10 minutes later I was good as new." www.ananova.com

Telling Sad Stories Bob, Bill and Steve were attending a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top floor of a 75-story skyscraper. After a long day of meetings, they were upset to hear that the hotel elevators were broken and they would have to climb the 75 flights of stairs to reach their room. Bob said, "Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Bill can sing songs for the next 25 flights and Steve can tell sad stories for the rest of the way." At the 26th floor, Bob stopped telling jokes and Bill began to sing. At the 51st floor, Bill stopped singing and Steve began to tell sad stories. "I'll tell my saddest story first," Steve said. "I left the room key in the car!!"