movieguy

Here my emoticons for Christmas http://elitrix.net/movieguyworld/viewtopic.php?p=391#391

Hi Drew ane Welcome aboard

Wait to load, then click play Whitetrashchristmas

Julio by Miguel Sanchez located in Miguel Corner at the site more chapter on the way, Chapter 9 to 16 is now links http://excoboard.com/exco/index.php?boardid=5252

Couple forgot to pick up wedding album - for 15 years A Malaysian couple forgot to pick up their wedding album until they had been married for 15 years. It wasn't until one of their eight children asked to see their wedding pictures that they finally remembered. Tu Fu Qiang and wife Lai Chai Zhen had ordered the £35 album from a studio in Rantau in 1989, reports The Star, quoting Sin Chew Daily. They paid a £7 deposit and promised to pay the remainder when they came to collect the photos. When they finally remembered about the album, the couple initially decided against asking for the photos thinking they would have been thrown out. But they decided to take a chance when they found the receipt and found, to their surprise, the pictures were still waiting for them. The paper said to their added delight the studio owner let them have the pictures for half price. www.ananova.com

It a nice chat room be sure in sign in and look at it

Beer Delivery Accident An unusual thanksgiving accident leaves a bicyclist in the hospital Friday morning. The accident happened around 10 o'clock Thursday night on Cleveland Avenue. Police say a guy was riding a bike while holding a 12-pack of beer in one hand and an open beer in the other. One car swerved to miss him, but another car hit him and threw him several feet off the windshield. He was taken to grant hospital where he is in stable condition. He could get a ticket-- but driver will not face charges. 10tv.com

News of the Weird WEEK OF NOVEMBER 21, 2004 LEAD STORY New Scientist magazine reported in October that psychologists seem to be reclassifying people who are permanently uninterested in sex, from the old notion that such behavior was a disorder to the emerging position that it is merely a sexual preference of "none of the above." (Asexuals profess no sexual attraction at all, encompassing loners reluctant to associate with people and gregarious, caring people whose natural inclination is to relate to others nonsexually.) Recent research estimated that 1 percent of the population is asexual, and in previous research, 40 percent of asexuals described themselves as "extremely" or "very" happy. An asexuality support group (AVEN) touts its best-selling T-shirt, "Asexuality: It's not just for amoebas anymore." [New Scientist, 10-14-04] People Different From Us Jackie Lee Shrader, 49, and his son, Harley Lee, 24, had a brief shootout with .22-caliber handguns, provoked when the pair confronted each other over how to cook skinless chicken for dinner (Bluewell, W.Va., September). And Niccolo Rossodivita, 62, shot Billy Cordova, 40, twice in the chest after Cordova followed him around their house prolonging their argument over Jesus Christ's correct name (Wasilla, Alaska, September). And Angela Morris, 19, was charged with assaulting her boyfriend by pouring boiling oil on him during an argument over a Bible verse the two had been reading together (Eugene, Ore., May). [Charleston Daily Mail-AP, 9-29-04] [Frontiersman (Wasilla), 9-27-04] [ABC News-AP, 5-20- 04] More Scenes of the Surreal (1) According to a September Washington Post dispatch from a Culpeper, Va., conference of people obsessed with spotting the alleged, 7-foot-tall Sasquatch, which is said to be roaming the woods of America, many attendees ("East Coast Bigfoot community") seem consumed by the West Coast Bigfoot community's supposed arrogance. That is, Western witnesses seem to regard Eastern witnesses as delusional, in that Sasquatch obviously lives west of the Rockies. (2) Thomas Patrick Remo, 50, was arrested in September in Dallas and charged with practicing medicine (gynecology) without a license; Remo had a stream of female customers who apparently did not think it odd that the exams were free and that he ran his office out of a self-storage locker. [Washington Post, 9-30-04] [Houston Chronicle-AP, 9-30-04] Our Litigious Society # Patricia Frankhouser filed a lawsuit in Jeannette, Pa., in November against the Norfolk Southern railway as a result of being hit by a train in January as she walked on railroad tracks. Frankhouser, who suffered various cuts and a broken finger, claimed in the lawsuit that Norfolk Southern should have posted signs alongside the tracks warning people not to walk on them, that trains might be coming. [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, 11-5-04] # In August, cardiologist Dr. Lawrence Poliner won $366 million in damages from a federal court jury in Dallas because his practice was virtually shut down through word of mouth for seven months in 1998, a verdict that (after subtracting 25 percent in attorney fees) would reward him with earnings during the shutdown of $39 million per month. The shutdown came after a hospital peer review panel had found errors in 29 of 44 patient-cases of Poliner (but he was reinstated after prominent cardiologists supported him, though the panel did not retract its initial finding). [Dallas Morning News, 8-28-04; American Medical News, 10-4-04] # Frederick Puglisi, 23, was awarded $850,000 by a jury in Ramsey, N.J., in September, for injuries, including a disfigured hand caused by frostbite, suffered when he got drunk at a party, set out on foot, and passed out in a snow bank. The jury determined that his injuries were worth $1 million in damages and that Puglisi was only 15 percent responsible. (Ramsey police and the Bergen county police bore greater fault because they had failed to respond quickly enough to a 911 call about a man passed out in a snow bank.) [Newsday-AP, 9-29-04] Police Blotter # From the July 23, 2004, Police Reports column of the New London, Wis., Press-Star: "1:15 p.m., a juvenile approached an officer at (Hortonville Police Department) complaining about having a lock stuck around his right testicle for three days and he didn't know how to get it off." (The officer found a master key.) "Having the master key in hand, the juvenile left the room for a moment and returned with the lock. The officer spoke to the juvenile about experimenting with sexuality and how he needs to be more careful in the future." [New London (Wis.) Press-Star, 7-23-04] # When the police chief in Springdale, Pa., allegedly used the N-word while detaining two black teenagers, the boys' parents charged racism, but the chief's brother, police officer Mike Naviglia, came to his rescue. Officer Naviglia suddenly grabbed one of the boys, in front of their mother, and kissed him flush on the mouth. Said Naviglia, "Does that taste like racism?" (According to the mother, Naviglia said, "I kissed him to show him that I wasn't prejudiced." The mother was undaunted and said she would proceed with her complaint.) [ThePittsburghChannel.com, 10-4-04] Creme de la Weird Australian sleep-disorder expert Dr. Peter Buchanan caused a stir in October when he told reporters that the odd behavior of "sleep sex" (leaving home at night in a deep sleep and seeking random sex with strangers) would soon be regarded as an official sleep disorder and be included in the next version of the sleep disorder manual. Said Buchanan, anticipating skepticism: "Incredulity is the first staging post for anyone involved in this (study)." [Fairfax New Zealand Ltd. newspaper group, 10-14-04] Least Competent Criminals Paul Michael Callahan, 32, was arrested in Boston in August after, according to police, a short career as a bank robber, which started badly when Callahan tried to hold up the copy shop at Boston University, believing it was a bank. (The clerk asked, "Do you know you're in a copy store and all we can give you is copies?") Callahan fled but allegedly robbed a Fleet Bank branch a few minutes later (getting less than $200) and then a Citizen's Bank branch, clearing about $2,500. However, the red-dye pack from Citizen's exploded, distracting him, and then his getaway car got a flat tire, and police found him hiding in a gas station. [boston Globe, 8-31-04] Update Among the recent idiosyncratic decrees by Turkmenistan's megalomaniacal president-for-life, Saparmurat Niyazov: No publicly chewing "nas" (the country's popular drug, partly tobacco, slacked lime and chicken droppings); television show hosts cannot wear makeup (because the president said he has difficulty distinguishing heavily made-up males from females); and an ice palace will be built in the heart of the country's extremely hot desert so that children can learn to ski. [Reuters, 8-12-04; BBC News, 8-11-04; Moscow News, 8-13-04] Almost All True Three of these four things really happened, just recently. Are you cynical enough to figure out the made-up story? (a) Municipal officials in Amsterdam tentatively approved a euthanasia-drug home delivery service, provided that all orders are screened by a physician before the driver is dispatched. (b) Boston police arrested a wheelchair-confined bank robber, who had become paralyzed when shot during a previous bank robbery. © Police in Lagos, Nigeria, organized groups of officers into street choirs to help disperse unruly mobs by singing. (d) A British Medical Association official warned that hospitals have recently become "inundated" with serious knife and broken-bottle injuries among barroom-brawling women. Readers' Choice Initially, Florida artist Maria Alquilar refused to correct a series of misspelled names in a $40,000 historical mural she did for the city of Livermore, Calif., claiming that "words" were not important to her art, comparing her errors to Michelangelo's "David" (imperfect in the sense that one of the testicles is lower than the other). After receiving much hate mail from Livermore taxpayers, suggesting that she must have a learning disability for not detecting "(Albert) Eistein," "(William) Shakespere," "(Paul) Gaugan," "(Vincent) Van Gough," and seven other misspellings, Alquilar agreed to fix her mural in early 2005 (but wants an additional $6,000 for her trouble). [san Francisco Chronicle, 10-8-04, 10-15- 04] Answer to Almost All True: (b), © and (d) are true. [Daily Telegraph (London), 9-13-04] [Agence France-Presse, 6-11-04] [Miami Herald, 9-22-04] Thanks This Week to Charles Shipman, Andrew Wiseman, Steve Dunn, Patrick St. Mary, Robert Munro, Gil Nelson, Debra Taylor, Richard LeComte, Marie Diamond, Mindy Cohen, Jackie Hahn-Efrati, William Rhoden, Russell Stuart, Bill Marble, John Heckler, Lou Ann Loveless, Stuart Johnson, and Arnold Yellin, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors. (Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNews@earthlink.net or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.) COPYRIGHT 2004 CHUCK SHEPHERD

I put this joke in another forum, and the member there add his to it not bad Things to tell your friends about mypenis. -It's ok you can beat mypenis I do. -Rub mypenis there he likes it. (on the phone)- Yes! It's mypenis he came home. -Don't feed mypenis that. -Mypenis dosn't like strangers. -Mypenis dosen't like you. -leave mypenis alone, he bites. -Hit mypenis with a newspaper before he has an accident on the carpet. (on the phone)- Mypenis had an accident on the carpet I have to go clean it up.

A geek's list of thanks 1. Be thankful you haven't been spammed! 2. Be thankful your computer isn't down! 3. Be thankful your favorite forum isn't down! 4. Be thankful you don't have The Good Times virus! 5. Be thankful your server isn't down! 6. Be thankful for a vast selection of Web sites to Browse! 7. Be thankful no one knows who you really are! 8. Be thankful someone sent you a cyber sundae, and you didn't gain a pound! 9. Be thankful your 28 year old cyberfriend really isn't 72! 10. Be thankful for a fast Internet connnection! 11. Be thankful no one sent you a cyber voo-doo doll!

The football-playing turkey The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"

Things proven to change the course of Thanksgiving 1. During the middle of the meal, turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the turkey was four months past its expiration date. You were worried for nothing." 2. When everyone goes around to say what they are thankful for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to say anything more. 3. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake 4. Prepare a several hour long speech to give when asked about your thankfulness. If necessary, insist that no one leave or eat until you have finished the speech. 5. Bring along old recorded football games and pop them in the VCR when dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two minutes of the game when he comes into the room, turn off the VCR, and then turn on the regular TV. 6. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms. Request that she bring photos.

A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!" They all asked the farmer how it tasted. "I don't know" said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"

'Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep... I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep. The leftovers beckoned...the dark meat and white, but I fought the temptation with all of my might. Tossing and turning with anticipation, the thought of a snack became infatuation. So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore. I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes, stuffing with gravy, green beans and tomatoes. I felt myself swelling so plump and so round, till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground. I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees... Happy eating to all -- pass the cranberries, please.

Cops banned from saying 'Evening all' Austrian policemen have been banned from greeting residents with a friendly 'Evening all' after complaints from locals. Grumpy residents in the Austrian town of Mauthausen were so fed up with one friendly officer that they filed a complaint with his superiors. The complaints went all the way to the top, with one man complaining personally to the Austrian Home Office, and now the Austrian interior ministry has ordered a ban on all friendly greetings. One man wrote: "I find his behaviour outrageous, and totally out of keeping from what one would expect from an officer of the law." Another complained the cop, not named for legal reasons, should be out catching criminals rather than wasting his time greeting locals. The officer that sparked the ban was given a one-and-a-half hour long grilling during a disciplinary hearing by his superiors. Colonel-sergeant Heinrich Hochstoeger confirmed that the 'Evening All' ban had been ordered as a result of the complaints. A spokesman for the Austrian police trade union said: "Obviously being friendly is not something the citizens of Austria want from their policemen." ananova.com

Around The Weird: Bizarre News Briefs HOLLYWOOD, Fla. (Wireless Flash) -- An online gaming casino has purchased the infamous grilled cheese sandwich that allegedly bears the image of the Virgin Mary on its toasted surface. Goldenpalace.com paid $28,000 for the 10-year-old sandwich which was auctioned off on eBay. A casino spokesman says the sandwich has become a part of pop culture, and they hope to use it to raise money for charity. The original owner claims it helped her win $70,000 at a casino near her Florida home. NEW YORK -- The person who sits next to you on the plane this holiday season may want to rub elbows with you -- literally. According to a new survey conducted by The Chase United Mileage Plus Visa Card, 24 percent of Americans who get on a plane over the holiday season are hoping the person sitting next to them will be a future date or spouse. ROME -- An Italian judge has found a man guilty of harassment for sending unsolicited compliments to a love interest via text message. According to the Italian news agency Ansa, the judge, from the town of Padua, fined the ringtone Romeo $391 after he wrote a text message to a clerk while on lunch break that said: "Since you appeared before my eyes I can't do anything but think of you." The offended woman then took the message to the police. ncbuy.com

Chapter 2 of The Power Within:Farewell is now posted http://www.deweywriter.com/

They must have gotten a very good life insurance when the old men died 30, 40 years ago, they won't not leave until it all gone

World's oldest man likes a beer The world's oldest man says the secret of long life is a good beer every day. German Hermann Doernemann, aged 111, took the title after the death of American Fred Hale. The retired electrical engineer says a daily dose of a good dark beer kept him feeling on top of the world. Mr Doernemann, who lives with his children, is officially the world's oldest man but he's a long way off being the oldest person. The Los Angeles-based Gerontology Research Group, which keeps records of the world's oldest people, says 26 women are older than him. ananova.com

A Son's Bad Dream A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Cindy had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed. The next day, Auntie Cindy dies. One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died. The father assures the son that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed. The next day, granddaddy dies. One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed. The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified. The next day, the man is scared for his life- he is sure he is going to die. After dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision. He doesn't eat lunch because he is scared of food poisoning. He avoids everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed. He jumps at every noise, starts at every movement and hides under his desk. Upon walking in his front door, he finds his wife. "Good God Dear" he proclaims, "I've just had the worst day of my entire life! She responds, "You think your day was bad, the milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning."

Shock 1

'Santa' Cuffs Himself to Buckingham Palace By Associated Press November 23, 2004, 1:33 PM EST LONDON -- A British man dressed as Santa Claus scaled the main gate of Buckingham Palace and chained himself to the top of a pillar Tuesday before police pulled him down, the latest such costumed protest by a group campaigning for more rights for divorced or separated fathers. The man, dressed in a red santa hat and cap and blue jeans, with a fake white beard, chained himself to a lamppost on the pillar and shouted slogans down at a crowd that gathered to watch. Police cut him free after about 90 minutes and brought him down on a cherry-picker. He was arrested on suspicion of causing criminal damage and creating a public nuisance, Metropolitan Police said. The campaign group Fathers 4 Justice identified the man as David Pyke, who has demonstrated before at the palace. In September, dressed as Batman's sidekick Robin, he accompanied fellow protester Jason Hatch to the royal residence. Hatch, who was dressed as Batman, climbed onto a palace balcony, where he remained for several hours, but Pyke was not as successful and was quickly removed. "We've been planning to do something today on the day of the Queen's Speech because we want to see more attention given to family law," Hatch said Tuesday, referring to the speech laying out the government's legislative program. The group is campaigning for greater rights for fathers in custody battles and other marriage and divorce issues. Other stunts by Fathers 4 Justice in recent months included sending a man dressed as Spiderman to scale the London Eye Ferris wheel and another to throw purple flour at Prime Minister Tony Blair in the House of Commons. On Friday, a Fathers 4 Justice campaigner handcuffed himself to Minister for Children Margaret Hodge, trapping her for more than 30 minutes until police freed her. Copyright © 2004, The Associated Press newsday.com