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One day, Batman and Superman were flying around in a helicopter. Superman was depressed. He hadn't had sex in over 6 months. It turned out that they were flying over a nude beach, and they just happened to see Wonderwoman lying on the sand! "Go down there and do your thing! She won't notice! You're faster than a speeding bullet, aren't you!?" said Batman. "I should..." said Superman. So, Superman did just that. He went down, and he was in and out in a milli-second. "So? How was it?" said Batman. "GREAT! It was awesome! She didn't notice a thing!" Said Superman. At that same time Wonderwoman said "What the hell was that!?" The Invisible Man rolled off the top of her and said "I don't know! But my BUTT SURE HURTS!"

One day, a man walked into a bar. He say's to the bartender, "If I show you the most amazing thing in your life, will you give me five free beers?" The bartender says, "Show me this amazing thing first." So the man takes out a 10 inch man and a tiny piano. The 10 inch man starts playing the piano. The bartender scratches his head and says, "Wow, that is amazing. Here are your five beers. How did you do that?" "There is a magic lamp outside. Rub it and a genie comes out and will grant you one wish." So the bartender goes outside, finds the lamp, and rubs it. Then the genie comes out and says "I am the genie of this lamp. I will grant one wish. Chooses carefully." "I want 10,000,000 bucks." As soon as he made his wish, 10,000,000 ducks came out of no where. The bartender goes back into the bar. "Boy" he said to the man, "that genie sure does have bad hearing." "What did you think I wanted, a 10 inch pianist?"

Donkey Racing A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER'S a** SHOWS The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read: PREACHER'S a** OUT IN FRONT The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S a** This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read: NUN HAS BEST a** IN TOWN The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00. Next day the headline read: NUN SELLS a** FOR $10.00 This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains where it could run wild and free. Next day, the headline in the paper read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER a** IS WILD AND FREE The Bishop was buried the next day.

Elderly Humor Three old men were talking about the best thing that could happen to them at that time of life. The 80 year old said : "The best thing that could happen to me is to be able to have a good pee. I just stand there and it dribbles and hurts, and I have to go over and over again." The 85 year old said: "The best thing could happen to me is if I could have a good bowel movement. I take every kind of laxative I can get my hands on and it is still a problem." The 90 year old man said: "That's not my problem, every morning at 6:00 am sharp I have a good long pee and at 6:30 sharp I have a great bowel movement.. The best thing that could happen to me is if I could wake up before 7:00."

Three young boys were celebrating their birthday (they were triplets). Their mom bakes them a cake for their birthday party, but when she finished, she realized that she didn't have any treats to use to decorate the top of the cake. As an alternative, she used BBs (as from the gun). She forgot to tell the boys about this unusual topping, and each of them unknowingly ate the BBs. At midnight that night, one of the triplets ran into his parents' bedroom, yelling "Mommy! Mommy!" She replied with "What's wrong?" He screamed "I just went to the bathroom and BBs came out!" His mother said, "Do you feel alright now?" He told her he did and she told him to go back to bed. At 1am, the same thing happened with the second triplet. At noon the next day, the third triplet ran to his mother screaming, "Mommy, mommy!" She said, "Let me guess. You went to the bathroom and BBs came out." He replied with, "No. I farted and I shot the dog!"

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Great to have you back and you are welcome, NP here while you were out

The Pastor A male pastor walked into a neighborhood pub to use the restroom. The place was hopping with music and dancing, until people saw the pastor. As the room quieted down he walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?" The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should." "Why not?" the pastor asked. "I really need to use a restroom!" "Well, I don't think you should. There is a statue of a naked man in there — and he's only covered by a fig leaf!" "Nonsense," said the pastor, "I'll look the other way!" So, the bartender showed the clergyman the door at the top of the stairs, and he proceeded to the restroom. After a few minutes, he came back out, and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again! He went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. When I came in here, the place was hopping with music and dancing. Then the room became absolutely quiet. I went to the restroom, and now the place is hopping again." "Well, now you're one of us!" said the bartender. "Would you like a drink too?" "But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled pastor. "You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf is lifted on the statue, the lights go out in the whole place. Now, how about a drink?"

Stages of Life MALE AGE DRINK 17 Beer 25 Beer 35 Vodka 48 Double Vodka 66 Maalox AGE SEDUCTION LINE 17 My parents are away for the weekend. 25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend. 35 My fiancee is away for the weekend. 48 My wife is away for the weekend. 66 My second wife is dead. AGE FAVORITE SPORT 17 Sex 25 Sex 35 Sex 48 Sex 66 Napping AGE DRUG 17 Pot 25 Coke 35 Really Good Coke 48 Power 66 Coke, a Limousine, the Company Jet AGE A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 Tongue 25 Breakfast 35 She didn't set back my therapy. 48 I didn't have to meet her kids. 66 Got home alive. AGE FAVORITE FANTASY 17 Getting to Third 25 Airplane Sex 35 Menage a trois 48 Taking the Company Public 66 Swiss Maid/Nazi Love Slave AGE HOUSE PET 17 Roaches 25 Stoned-out College Roommate 35 Black Lab 48 Children from his first Marriage 66 Barbi AGE THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED? 17 25 25 35 35 48 48 66 66 17 AGE IDEAL DATE 17 Triple Stephen King feature at Drive-in. 25 Split the check and go back to my place. 35 Just come over. 48 Just come over and cook. 66 Sex in the Jet on the way to Vegas. Female AGE DRINK 17 Wine Coolers 25 Wine Coolers 35 Red Wine 48 Dom Perignon 66 Shot of Jack with Ensure AGE EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES 17 Need to wash my hair. 25 Need to wash and condition my hair. 35 Need to color my hair. 48 Need to have Francois color my hair. 66 Need to have Francois color my wig. AGE FAVORITE SPORT 17 Shopping. 25 Shopping. 35 Shopping. 48 Shopping. 66 Shopping. AGE DRUG 17 Shopping. 25 Shopping. 35 Shopping. 48 Shopping. 66 Shopping. AGE A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 Burger King 25 Free Meal 35 A Diamond 48 A Bigger Diamond 66 Home Alone AGE FAVORITE FANTASY 17 Tall, Dark and Handsome 25 Tall, Dark and Handsome with Money 35 Tall, Dark and Handsome, Money and Brains 48 A Man with Hair 66 A Man AGE HOUSE PET 17 Muffy the Cat 25 Unemployed Boyfriend and Muffy 35 Irish Setter and Muffy 48 His Children and Muffy 66 Retired Husband stuffs Muffy AGE THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED? 17 17 25 25 35 35 48 48 66 66 AGE IDEAL DATE 17 He Offers to Pay. 25 He Pays. 35 He cooks Breakfast the next morning. 48 He cooks Breakfast for the Kids. 66 He can chew Breakfast.

Man charged with meth manufacture after pants explode Associated Press LaFAYETTE, Ga. - A Walker County man was charged with manufacturing methamphetamine after his pants exploded while he was talking to social services workers outside his home. Daniel Gabriel Doyle, 39, met the social workers at his front door Tuesday, walked to their car and sat down to fill out some forms, said Patrick Stanfield, commander of the Lookout Mountain Judicial Circuit Drug Task Force. "Finally, while he was sitting in the back seat, the front of his pants exploded," Stanfield said Friday. He said Doyle apparently had mixed red phosphorous and iodine in a film canister and stuck it in his pocket. The chemical reaction caused second- and third-degree burns to Doyle's testicles and leg, Sheriff's Maj. Hill Morrison said. He was treated at Erlanger Medical Center in Chattanooga, Tenn., before being jailed. --- Information from: The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, http://www.ajc.com macon.com

It's Going to be a Rotten Day when... You wake up face down on the pavement. You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold. You see a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles. You want to put the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any. You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city. Your twin sister forgot your birthday. Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angles onto the freeway. Your boss tells you not to bother taking off your hat. The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard. You wake up and your braces are locked together. You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business. Your blind date turns out to be your EX-wife. Your income check bounces. You put both contact lenses in the same eye. Your pet rock snaps at you. Your wife says "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George.

Dentist Pleads Guilty in Naked Cycle Ride By Associated Press July 30, 2004, 4:05 PM EDT NANTICOKE, Pa. -- A helmet would be nice, but police here said clothes would be a good start when riding a motorcycle. A local dentist pleaded guilty to a summary charge of disorderly conduct for driving a motorcycle with a naked woman on the back. The woman faces more serious charges. Dr. Joseph P. Gronka, 39, of Scott Township, was pulled over June 12 when police noticed Lisa Drozdowski, 39, of Nanticoke, riding naked on the back of his motorcycle. Since then, Gronka has paid court costs and fines totaling $277.50. Gronka declined comment. Police said Drozdowski was belligerent when she was taken into custody and threw a small pipe into her cell toilet, then kicked an officer who tried to prevent her from flushing the toilet. She was charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, tampering with evidence, resisting arrest and open lewdness. * __ Information from: Press Enterprise, http://www.pressenterpriseonline.com Copyright © 2004, The Associated Press newsday.com

"Stupid" Gas Thief Wanted in San Joaquin County Investigators have a pretty good idea who tried to steal gasoline from a San Joaquin Valley farmer. The hapless thief was caught on tape. The suspect is 22-year-old Robert Flowers. According to the San Joaquin Couty Sheriff's Department, he was caught on a surveillance tape stealing gasoline from a farmer's tank in Escalon. On the tape, he can be seen becoming increasingly frustrated at his inability to open the lock on the tank. To get at the supply of fuel, he used a cutting torch to burn his way into the tank. Although he managed to avoid blowing himself up, he and his license plate were caught on tape. Law enforcement officials say the tape made it easy for investigators. "I think he's just plain stupid," said San Joaquin County Sheriff Baxter Dunn. "We've talked to him on the phone. After ID'ing him, we told him to come in. We saw him yesterday, but he got away." When Flowers is eventually located, he will face charges of vandalism, trespassing and theft. He is also wanted in Stanislaus County for a probation violation and has told officials there that he intends to surrender. to watch the action click links below news10.net

Every Single Vote Counts -- And Single Voters Favor Kerry DALLAS (Wireless Flash) -- Every single vote counts and it looks like single voters are favoring John Kerry. According to a political poll by match.com, 49 percent of American singles want Kerry in the White House -- including 12 percent of single Republicans. Meanwhile, 35 percent of singles -- and five percent of single Democrats want to reelect George W. Bush -- as president and 17 percent are commitment-phobes and cant decide who they should vote for. Finally, 45 percent of singles want to dine with Kerry and his wife, Teresa Heinz Kerry, but 21 percent of democrats think Dubya and wife, Laura, would be more interesting dinner company ncbuy.com

Promised gifts, they instead get jail Tampa police send 350 letters to crime suspects, telling them they'd won prizes; 11 show up and are arrested. By SAUNDRA AMRHEIN, Times Staff Writer Published July 29, 2004 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- TAMPA - They showed up a little nervous with their letters, wondering what they'd won: Bucs season tickets? A 42-inch television? A thousand dollars? Instead, 11 people scored a trip to the county jail Wednesday after they fell for a sting operation that the Tampa Police Department disguised as a sports promotion. The department had mailed out 350 letters to suspects with active warrants for arrest on charges ranging from homicide to simple battery, said police spokesman Joe Durkin. Of the 11 who showed up, the most serious offender was a sexual predator who allegedly violated his probation. The letter described a "once in a lifetime opportunity" to win prizes in a promotion marking the opening of All Star Sports Promotions, which was really a company contrived by TPD. "The overwhelming success of professional sports teams in the Tampa Bay area is what has drawn us to your region," the letter read. "With the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Tampa Bay Lightning and hopefully soon the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, we saw a great opportunity." So did the 11 suspects who showed up at an Ybor City storefront on 16th Street, hoping to claim their prize. When the suspects walked into the office, which was decorated with sports paraphernalia, they were greeted by a "receptionist" - really an undercover officer. She charmed them and eased their suspicions with talk of the company's recent move from New York. "Congratulations, you're a winner!" she told them, and then invited them to a back room to get their pictures taken and to select their prize. Once in the room, the suspects were greeted by a dozen officers, who arrested them and put them in handcuffs. "They were informed, "This is really the Tampa Police Department. We're putting you into custody for a warrant,' " Durkin said. "We had a couple of them laugh." The entire ruse - the idea of Officer Jamie Bryant - cost the police department about $50, Durkin said. The point was to help officers serve the warrants in a much safer, controlled environment. "It's always dangerous when you do a pickup on a person," Durkin said. The message Wednesday by Tampa police to crime suspects: Watch out, more surprises are on the way. "TPD is going to be looking outside the box at untraditional and new and creative ways to pick up wanted individuals and bring them to justice," Durkin said. Here are the suspects arrested, and the charges of their warrants: Dorian Burns, 19, grand theft auto and dealing in stolen property; Ernest Gillard, 25, criminal traffic violations; Phillip Straily, 21, sexual predator, violation of probation on original charge of lewd and lascivious act upon a child; Joshua Cain, 19, improper flotation devices and fishing without a license; Everett Lockett, 38, domestic violence, spouse battery; Katrina Tucker, 32, grand theft and fraud; April Green, 32, violation of probation for worthless checks; Marvin Simmons, 24, felony contempt of court; Robert Wisneski, 26, criminal traffic violations; Ronell Nedd, 44, criminal traffic violations and battery domestic violence; and Darrell Jones, 33, narcotics. © Copyright 2003 St. Petersburg Times. All rights reserved sptimes.com

Thong-Wearing Men Arrested at Wal-Mart By Associated Press July 29, 2004, 10:59 AM EDT SCOTTSBLUFF, Neb. -- Two men who were arrested for walking through a Wal-Mart while wearing women's thong underwear blamed the stunt on a "triple-dog dare," authorities said. The men, ages 35 and 36, bought two pair of underwear at the store Tuesday, went into a bathroom and came out wearing only the thongs and T-shirts, police said. Witnesses said the men walked through the store and out to their car. Police caught the men in the parking lot, and reviewed a surveillance tape before arresting them for public indecency and disorderly conduct. When asked why they were wearing thong underwear, one of the men said a friend "triple-dog dared" them. They will not be prosecuted, authorities said. Copyright © 2004, The Associated Press newsday.com

Around The Weird: Bizarre News Briefs WASHINGTON (Wireless Flash) -- Subway restaurants are being torpedoed by an activist group for running anti-American ads in Germany. The National Legal and Policy Center says it objects to the fast food chain's German stores promoting the documentary, "Super Size Me," with tray-liners portraying an obese Statue of Liberty with the tagline, "Why are Americans so obese?" HOFFMAN ESTATES, Ill. -- The three most hated words to kids, "back to school," may be the most expensive words for mom. A survey by Sears, Roebuck and Co. shows that 58 percent of moms spend at least $200 per child for back-to-school clothing and 22 percent spend $350 on school clothes for kids. School clothing shopping is never done according to 22 percent of moms who say they are "always shopping for back-to-school clothes." COLOMBO, Sri Lanka -- Lingerie maker Victoria's Secret has made an apology to the Buddhist community in Sri Lanka for using the Buddha's image on their bikinis. The company issued a written apology after Buddhists in the nation protested the company's swimwear. ncbuy.com

Famous Last Words His gun ain't loaded These bears don't bite Pneumonia can't kill you It doesn't taste poisoned to me I don't believe in spontaneous combustion I can swim just fine I can dodge a bullet This isn't a live wire THAT'S the electric rail I can't smell anything burning I can't hear anything ticking No one is out to get me! He's bluffing These are edible mushrooms Let me drive, I'm not drunk The light is green! So what if I don't have a condom? I can handle a gun This isn't a real grenade I can get past the security guards This magic rock will protect me I can't be bothered to go back and get my helmet He can't hit an elephant at two feet That's a blunt knife he's got This is not a mine field That's not an active volcano This H isn't cut with rat poison The rope won't snap This bridge is pretty strong Cobras don't attack humans So what if it's midnight and I'm in the dodgy neighborhood? His death threat wasn't serious Don't worry, plane crashes are very rare This city hasn't seen an earthquake for 100 years This gas is perfectly breathable He won't find us in bed together This ice is thick enough to walk on There aren't any sharks You're just paranoid There's no death penalty in this country It's a small risk Look, Luigi, I can pay you on Wednesday My parachute won't open!

Dog Attacks Parked Mustang Convertible By Associated Press July 28, 2004, 8:03 PM EDT AMITE, La. -- More than one dog has met his end by challenging a set of moving car tires. In this case, police said, the car didn't have a chance. Sheriff's deputies reported that a tan dog attacked a silver Ford Mustang convertible parked outside the owner's home. According to deputies, a woman said she was awakened Tuesday by a noise outside her house and found the canine attacking her car. The animal fled when she walked outside to find a chewed-up windshield wiper, gnarled hood hinge covers and teeth marks on the car's molding. A deputy also reported finding extensive scratches to the car's body and saliva dripping from the vehicle. The dog got away, said Chuck Reed, a sheriff's office spokesman. * __ Information from: The Advocate Copyright © 2004, The Associated Press newsday.com

Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream When I want you in my arms When I want you and all your charms Whenever I want you, all I have to do is Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream When I feel blue in the night And I need you to hold me tight Whenever I want you, all I have to do is Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine Anytime night or day Only trouble is, gee whiz I’m dreamin’ my life away I need you so that I could die i love you so and that is why Whenever I want you, all I have to do is Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine Anytime night or day Only trouble is, gee whiz I’m dreamin’ my life away I need you so that I could die i love you so and that is why Whenever I want you, all I have to do is Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream FADE OUT Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream Recorded by The Everly Brothers and Later by Glen Campbell and Bobbie Gentry in 1969

Man Survives Alligator Attack With Punch By Associated Press July 28, 2004, 7:25 PM EDT TAVARES, Fla. -- An 11-foot alligator attacked a man pulling weeds along the shore of a lake, but he saved himself by punching the beast in the nose. The man was later arrested on grand theft charges unrelated to the incident. Guy R. Daelemans, 43, suffered leg wounds in Tuesday's attack on Lake Eustis in central Florida, Lake County sheriff's Lt. Todd Luce said. He was treated and released from a hospital. A trapper summoned by wildlife officials caught the 385-pound alligator, which was then killed. Daelemans was arrested Wednesday on charges including grand theft. He's accused of taking money from a homeowner to build a boat dock, then failing to finish the job. He was being held in jail on $50,000 bond. Last week, a 54-year-old landscaper died of infection two days after a 12-foot alligator dragged her into a pond on Sanibel Island in southwestern Florida. That alligator was also trapped and killed. Copyright © 2004, The Associated Press newsday.com

There is a Potato family. The Potato father and three Potato daughters. The oldest Potato daughter goes to the Potato father one day and says, "Dad, I have wonderful news. I'm getting married!" "WONDERFUL," says the Potato father. "Who are you going to marry?" The Potato daughter says, "I'm going to marry a Russett." "Russetts are outstanding Potatoes. You have my blessing. Get married and have a long, happy life." Then the second Potato daughter goes to the Potato father and says, "Dad, I have wonderful news. I'm getting married, too." The Potato father says, "What marvelous news! Who are you going to marry?" The second Potato daughter says, "I'm going to marry an Idaho." The Potato father says, "Idahos are also wonderful Potatoes. You have my blessing. Get married and have a long, happy life." The third Potato daughter goes to the father and says, "Dad, I too am getting married." The Potato dad says, "I can't believe this. I am so happy. Who are you going to marry?" The third Potato daughter says, "Dan Rather." The dad says, "DAN RATHER?! YOU CAN NOT MARRY DAN RATHER. HE'S A COMMONTATER!"

Around The Weird: Bizarre News Briefs PRINCETON, N.J. (Wireless Flash) -- Despite those recent corporate accounting scandals, 70 percent of employees think their own boss is "trustworthy" although 23 percent say the big cheese is only "mildly trustworthy." Eleven percent don't trust corporate executives at all. BOSTON -- Couch potatoes are turning the Democratic Convention into a big party. Nearly 200,000 Americans are expected to watch John Kerry speak at nearly 5000 "convention watch parties" around the nation. LONDON -- It's a bit squirrely, but recent English soccer superstar Wayne Rooney lost a small fortune when his girlfriend chucked the $46,000 dollar engagement ring he gave her into a squirrel reserve. "The Sun "reported that she threw it away when she learned he had sex with an escort girl. Now the wildlife reserve is attracting treasure hunters looking for the ring. BROOKVILLE, Ohio -- A husband and wife couple both chewed up the competition at the first Swellin' With Melon watermelon eating championship. Nevada resident Rich LeFevre ate 11.22 pounds of watermelon in 15 minutes with his wife taking second place with 9.78 pounds. SAN DIEGO -- The U.S.S. Ronald Reagan aircraft carrier recently returned to its home port of San Diego, but sadly, a 550-pound replica of ship carved out entirely of cheddar cheese was decommissioned. The cheesy U.S.S. Reagan replica, donated by Sargento cheese maker, took more than 50 hours to carve and was used over the weekend as part of a commemorative event before it was put out to pasture. ncbuy.com

Snail Mail Snags Postcard 37 Years Grover Home Headquarters A J Spas American A.W.S. Woodbury Country Club Stahl Eye Center Giovanni Rosso By Associated Press July 28, 2004, 9:11 AM EDT SEELYVILLE, Pa. -- Talk about snail mail: A woman vacationing in New Jersey 37 years ago popped a postcard into the mail and it just arrived at her mother's house in Pennsylvania. Dorothy Orth, of Seelyville in northeastern Pennsylvania, baffled her daughter when she called Saturday to thank her for the card. "What card?" Janet Richards, of Port Jervis, N.Y., asked. When her mother said it was from Asbury Park, N.J., she remembered. "I sent that postcard in August 1967, when my husband, Larry, and I were on our fifth wedding anniversary," she said. Orth received it July 17, almost 37 years later. In addition to the 4-cent stamp a 23-cent stamp was affixed, and the 18431 zip code was penciled in. The card was postmarked Aug. 19, 1967, at the Asbury Park post office, and July 14, 2004, in New York City's Brooklyn borough. "A lot of credit goes to the Brooklyn post office and whoever got the postcard to me," Orth said. That was Ernesto Perry, of the U.S. Post Office undelivered mail unit in Brooklyn. The postcard was behind a machine that was recently moved, Perry said. He said he added the zip code and the 23 cent stamp and sent it on its way. "We always try to send back mail whenever possible, it doesn't matter how long it has been lost or misplaced," he said. Copyright © 2004, The Associated Press newsday.com

Brawl breaks out over a case of beer UNION-TRIBUNE July 27, 2004 OCEANSIDE – A fight broke out in Libby Lake Park yesterday when one group of men tried to take a case of beer from another, police said. Officers arrived at the park on Calle Montecito in time to see three men running away and one more starting to leave in a pickup, said Oceanside police Sgt. Lee Steitz. One officer held the truck driver at gunpoint while another officer tackled fleeing men one after another, taking them into custody. The 4 p.m. brawl started as a fistfight over the beer, but the would-be thieves then hit three victims on the head with bottles. One victim was taken to a hospital, another was treated by paramedics and the third went home, declining treatment, Steitz said. Three of the four detained for questioning were to be booked on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon and robbery. Steitz said it wasn't clear if the fourth man had taken part in the assault. sediata signonsandiego.com