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Powell and the black cat Thu Aug 12, 4:43 PM ET WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell (news - web sites) will cross paths with a black cat on Friday the 13th, posing for a picture with a copper-eyed Bombay male that bears his name. Colin Powell -- the cat -- will pay a courtesy call on the top U.S. diplomat on Friday August 13 and the two will appear before photographers in the elegant Treaty Room outside the secretary of state's suite of offices at the State Department. The feline was selected as cat of the year by the Cat Fanciers' Association, which requested, and received, time with the secretary to photograph the two Colin Powells for its 2005 yearbook cover, a State Department official said. The association, which was founded in 1906 and calls itself the world's largest nonprofit registry of pedigreed cats, said Colin Powell competed against 22,700 other cats and was judged 290 times before winning its highest award. The cat's owner, Sig Hauck, said he was a "very, very laid back" cat and was called "Wolfman Jack" at first because he had spiky hairs on his forearms but was later formally named Colin Powell "for patriotic reasons." Asked why Powell would interrupt his day of dealing with foreign potentates for a feline visitor, the U.S. official said: "If you had a cat named after you that won the Cat Fanciers' Association cat of the year -- I mean that doesn't happen every day. This is recognising a cat of outstanding ability." Friday the 13th and having a black cat cross your path are both thought by some to bring bad luck. yahoonews.com

Prescription Error Turns Man to Woman? WASHINGTON — A Washington State man says a drug prescription error started turning him into a woman. Keith Sabey claims the drugs that were supposed to save his life nearly killed him. Instead of Testosterone, he mistakenly received Estrogen from a Wal-Mart pharmacist back in April. That is when Sabey says he started getting hot flashes and his body began to change. Keith Sabey said, "His doctor, Dr. Conway, said I was growing breast tissue." Sabey claims the pharmacist admitted the mistake. Sabey has hired an attorney and says he may now sue the Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart has not commented on Sabey's allegations. Last Updated: Aug 12, 2004 abc7.com

Around The Weird: Bizarre News Briefs BOSTON (Wireless Flash) -- If you think you're hot stuff, your name may tell otherwise. A Massachusetts-based scientist did a study by putting pictures up on the website amihotornot.com where web surfers rate the photos based on looks. When linguist Amy Perfors put the same picture with two different names, users ranked male name with vowel sounds formed at the front of the mouth -- like Matt -- "hotter" than male names with vowel sounds at the back of the mouth -- like Paul. The opposite held true for women. NEW YORK -- A Martha Stewart make-over is in the making. The website worth1000.com held a contest asking for photoshop images of how the amateur artists might improve Stewart's prison cell for her during her five-month visit. Entries range from a cell decorated to look like a bathroom with "Hers and Hers" towels, to an electric chair with hand-painted flowers on the seat. A feature of the entries will appear in the next issue of "Star" magazine. LONDON -- Female British Olympic triathletes have had to install "modesty panels" into their bathing suits after discovering the white Lycra fabric becomes transparent in water. The team's seamstress sewed extra layers of fabric onto the chests of 16 suits which will be worn in competition, reports London's "Sun" tabloid.

One fine day, a guy called Joe, that’s not his real name, but never mind it’ll do, is walking along the beach. Now Joe is really down and out, he has lost his job, his wife has divorced him getting the house and custody of his dog in the process. However Joe is not disheartened, he is one of life’s little optimists and he reckons that, since he has must now have reached the nadir of his life, the only way is up! He notices something half buried in the sand, so he stops, bends down and retrieves it. To his astonishment and delight he discovers that it is an ancient oil lamp. ‘This ought to be worth a bob or two,’ he thinks and polishes it against his sleeve to see if he can ascertain from which metal it is made. Suddenly there is a puff of pink smoke and a seriously pink genie appears. Yes, I know that most genies are blue or green, but this is a pink one. “OK matey,” says the genie, pink genies are notoriously disrespectful, “despite what you might have heard, you get just one wish! So think carefully and make it a good one.” Joe thinks very carefully and says, “I wish that I was lucky.” “Well!” says the genie. “In all my long life, that is the wisest wish that I have ever heard!” Now given the well known longevity of pink genies, it must really have been an impressive wish. “So, let it be!” commands the genie, just before he is enveloped in a cloud of pink smoke which promptly retreats into the lamp, which in turn disappears, just like that! Perplexed, Joe continues his wandering down the sand and then he notices that sticking out of the sand is a 20 pound note! He instantly grabs it and heads for the promenade. There he finds a betting shop and he looks at the odds on the horses for the next race. One name catches his eye, “Lucky Jim”. So he puts the 20 pounds on the horse which promptly wins at 10 to 1. As it is a while since his wife divorced him, and even longer since he got his leg over, Joe now heads for the local brothel. (Yes, Joe is straight, not really his fault, he had a dominant father and these things happen.) Just as he enters the establishment, music starts playing, the lights go up, balloons fall from the ceiling and everyone cheers. The madam steps forwards and explains, “You sir, are our 10,000 customer and to celebrate this momentous occasion, you can have any girl that you wish, for free!” Joe is of course delighted and asks, “Do you have a girl from India? Because I have always fancied one of them.” “You are lucky,” said the madam, “our best girl is Indian and she will be glad to entertain you.” Now given the nature of the medium that we are currently using to communicate, I will not go into the exact detail of the next twenty minutes or so of Joe’s life, other than to mention that it was very energetic and he enjoyed himself immensely. So we next find the pair, lying on the bed, sweating and breathing heavily. Eventually, when Joe gets his wind back he turns to his companion and says, “What is that red spot on your forehead?” “It is my cast mark.” she says. “Why, don’t you like it?” “No, not really. I think it distracts from your beauty,” replies Joe. “Well, just scratch it off then,” she says. So, Joe reached over and carefully scratches at the spot with his fingernail. Suddenly he bursts out laughing. “What’s the matter?” she asks. “You won’t believe this,” says Joe, “but, I’ve just won a car!”

Truckers & Priests A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back onto the road. One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest. "No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck." The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD". Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer." "That's okay", replied the priest. "I got him with the door!"

Four Friends These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to Dallas and party with some friends up there. They had a great time. However, after all the partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Austin until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to Dallas for the weekend with the plan to come back and study but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final. The Professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, worth 5 points. It was something simple about free radical formation. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room. "This is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page. On the second page was written: (For 95 points): Which tire?

Apology Given for Lemonade Stand Closing By Associated Press August 12, 2004, 9:57 AM EDT ST. LOUIS -- Two seventh grade girls really know a thing or two about turning lemons into lemonade. They were doing a booming business at their lemonade stand Wednesday -- a day after a neighbor complained and the city Health Department temporarily put them out of business. Mim Murray, 10, and Marisa Miller-Stockie, 12, of St. Louis, have sold lemonade together for three summers, hoping to save enough for laptop computers before school starts. But the girls said a Health Department inspector told them Tuesday they didn't have the proper business licenses and were selling unsafe ice cubes. The girls were using powdered lemonade mix with ice cubes bought from a store. A resident, O.V. Carreathers, 48, had registered a complaint about the stand on Friday with the city's Citizens Service Bureau. The girls didn't work Monday, but the inspector found them Tuesday. Carreathers said she wanted to keep the girls off her property: "I just didn't want them blocking my walkway." The girls said their stand had been on the grass behind Carreathers' property. After the stand was shut down Mim's mother, Germaine Murray, called a St. Louis television station and the family's pastor, Monsignor Salvador Polizzi. He brought the situation to the attention of Mayor Francis Slay. Melba Moore, the city's health commissioner, said temporary food and beverage vendors are supposed to obtain permits, but that doesn't apply to children's lemonade stands. "It should not have happened. And I apologize," said Moore, who gave the girls $3 Wednesday for a 25-cent cup of lemonade. Besides earning $112 Wednesday, the girls said they have learned something from their lemonade experience: "You don't have to sit there and take it," Mim said. Marisa added, "We learned to stand up for ourselves." * __ Information from: St. Louis Post-Dispatch, http://www.post-dispatch.com Copyright © 2004, The Associated Press newsday.com

You and me both!? this is a werid news forum, and it can't get werider more than this? or can it? no comments please, may wake up tomorrow and find worse! Idontknow

Taxi Cab Driver A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said, "Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me." The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much, to which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab, I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

Judge denies divorce: Adultery not enough Says husband’s admission of affair is not sufficient to end 17-year marriage because wife resumed sexual relationship with him BY CHAU LAM STAFF WRITER August 12, 2004 Gail Ozkan's husband admitted he'd had an extramarital affair but a State Supreme Court justice in Suffolk recently ruled that was not enough to end the couple's 17-year marriage and refused to grant her a divorce. "How could this be?," Ozkan, 43, of Mount Sinai, said Wednesday. "I was stunned, actually." But even if Ozkan had other proof that her husband, Okan Ozkan, also 43, had committed adultery, the fact that she resumed a sexual relationship with him after learning about his affair is tantamount to "forgiveness," Justice William J. Kent said in his Aug. 2 decision. "Adultery cannot be established solely by the admission or confession of the defendant. Rather, there must be additional corroborating evidence which supports the finding of adultery," Kent said in his four-page decision, denying Gail Ozkan's request for divorce. "Moreover, merely the general admission by the defendant, that he had an affair with someone other than his wife is not, by itself, an admission that he engaged in adultery within the statutory definition." Like it or not, that's the law in New York State, said Pia Riverso, a matrimonial lawyer in Uniondale. "It's unfortunate for the parties involved but it's not a bizarre decision," Riverso said Wednesday. Riverso and legal experts said most couples don't challenge each other on the grounds for divorce. But in cases where there is a challenge, it is the burden of the person seeking a divorce to show that the spouse has committed acts such as adultery, cruelty, or desertion. Currently, there is a move to get lawmakers in Albany to adopt a different law -- one similar to those in states such as California and Florida -- where grounds for divorce are as uncomplex as irreconcilable differences. Vincent Stempel Jr., a matrimonial lawyer in Garden City and chairman of New York State Bar Association Family Law Section, said his organization voted in June to lobby lawmakers to make the changes. "It's long overdue," Stempel said. "It decreases counsel fees and frees up valuable court time." Okan Ozkan, who owns and operates two gas stations, couldn't be reached for comment Wednesday. Gail Ozkan's attorney, Gloria May Rosenblum of East Islip, said Ozkan's husband will not agree to a divorce unless she takes the settlement he's offering. Okan Ozkan's attorney, Deborah Poulos of Hauppauge, said Rosenblum's statement was "sour grapes" but would not say why her client didn't want a divorce. In a phone interview, Gail Ozkan said that after she confronted her husband about the affair, he promised to break it off and work to keep their marriage together. But several months later she said she learned through friends that her husband was still involved in the affair. During the divorce proceedings before Kent, the question of whether her husband was having an adulterous relationship came up. However, Okan Ozkan refused to answer and invoked his Fifth Amendment right. In New York State, adultery is considered a crime. Tuesday night was the first time the couple saw each other since the court decision, Gail Ozkan said. Her husband came by to take their son, 14, and daughter, 12, out for ice cream. "When he is here it's very tense, at best," said Gail Ozkan. Poulos said Okan Ozkan still lives at the Mount Sinai home. Gail Ozkan said he stays there only sporadically. The couple talks to each other only when it's necessary, she said. She plans to appeal Kent's decision. If that fails, she will file for divorce, again. "I can't live like this. My children can't live like this. This is an unsuitable life," she said. Copyright © 2004, Newsday, Inc. newsday.com

F*** off, I'm out of coma A MOTHER waited 41 days for her son to come out of a coma — then he woke up and told her to “f*** off”. Joan Hopkins, 39, cried with relief, despite 22-year-old Joey’s bad language. She said: “I told the nurse I’d know when he was getting better because he’d swear at me. “At that moment he told me to ‘f*** off’. “It was such a relief — it was his way of telling me he was going to be all right. He hasn’t stopped talking since.” Builder Joey had been in a coma since cheating death in a car smash in Portsmouth, Hants. He suffered serious head injuries, a collapsed lung and a broken neck and back. Joey now faces up to two years Fighting back to full health. thesun.com.uk

Welcome Lonecoyote79 good to see you again clapping

Get Behind Celebrating Anal Sex Month SAN FRANCISCO (Wireless Flash) -- Here's a holiday we can all get behind: August is "National Anal Sex Month." For the last three years, the Good Vibrations sex toy shop in San Francisco has celebrated August as "Anal Sex month" because, as spokeswoman Niki Khanna says, "the month has a lot of A's." Khanna believes having a whole month dedicated to anal sex means people aren't as touchy about the subject as in years past. However, she says the big challenge is convincing people that the activity doesn't "...have to involve penetration. Some people just like being touched on the tip." She's got a busy few weeks ahead of her because Anal Sex Month is already one-third completed. Khanna is just getting the word out because she admits she got behind in her work. ncbuy.com

There was a guy named Herbert who had been working late and wanted to get a guard dog for his wife. He went to a pet store and asked the salesman for a doberman. "If it's a guard dog you're looking for, I've got just the thing for you," The salesman said. He went to the back and returned with a small poodle. "That thing? A guard dog? No way!" Herbert said. "This dog is special," The salesman said. "He knows karate!" "Karate? No way!" Herbert replied. The salesman pointed to a sign. "Karate the sign." The dog ran over to the sign and ripped it to shreds. "Karate the chair." The poodle ran over to the chair and tore it to pieces. "I'll take him!" Herbert said. He took the poodle home and showed it to his wife. "This thing? A guard dog. You've got to be kidding!" She said. "This dog knows karate," Herbert said. "Karate?" His wife shouted. "Karate my a**!"

State Fair Johnny and his wife went to the State Fair every year. Every year Johnny would say, "I'd like to ride in that aeroplane." And every year his wife would say, "I know, Johnny, but that aeroplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." This one year Johnny and his wife went to the fair and Johnny said, "I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that aeroplane this year I may never get another chance." "That aeroplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.", replied his wife. The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars." Johnny and his wife agree and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They land and the pilot turns to Johnny, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't." Johnny replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when my wife fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

Home Depot shoppers charged in cart fracas By JAMES P. QUARANTA Staff Writer jquaranta@thedailyjournal.com VINELAND -- A dispute over a pushcart escalated into a bloody battle when two men engaged in a "sword fight" using two-by-fours inside Home Depot, police said. One of the combatants required hospital treatment after the fight, which broke out around 10:30 a.m. Sunday at the Cumberland Mall store. Larry Bostic, 52, of West Park Avenue received eight stitches in his chin, police said. One of his teeth was knocked out and another tooth was cracked. Police arrested Bostic and Wei Sun, 45, of Upper Darby, Pa., on assault charges. Bostic told police he asked a Home Depot employee for a pushcart so that he could load some two-by-fours. The employee told him to take a cart that contained some wallboard because it had been in an aisle for a while, according to police. As Bostic began to load his lumber, however, Sun appeared and demanded the cart back, police said. Witnesses said both men then swung their fists at each other but missed. Then each grabbed a two-by-four and began a sword fight, police said. It ended when Sun threw his wooden board at Bostic, hitting him in the chin, witnesses told police. Sun explained that he threw the two-by-four at Bostic because the Vineland man had struck him in the face with his fist and yelled an obscenity after Sun demanded the cart, police said. Both suspects were released on summonses pending court action. thedailyjournal.com

Just Fred A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that day he decides he might give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name. "Fred," the driver replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred," the man responds. When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. "Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?" The man replies, "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades. "When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was Fred Dingaling, MD. "After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS. "Got bored doing dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD. So, I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my dingaling . . . so now I'm just Fred." The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

One for Me, One for You There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. The bucket was so full, several rolled out towards the fence. Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slow down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you." He knew what it was. "Oh my god!" he shuddered, "It's Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery!" He cycled down the road and found an old man with a cane, hobbling along. "Come quick!" he said, "You won't believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing the souls." The man said, "Shoo, you brat! Can't you see I'm finding it hard to walk as it is!" After several pleas, the man hobbled to the cemetery and heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one..." The old man whispered, "Boy, you's been tellin' the truth! Let's see if we can see the Devil himself." Shivering with fear, they edged toward the fence, still unable to see anything, but they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That's all. Let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done." They say the old guy made it to town 10 minutes before the boy!

This is why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a small Texas town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me? She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr.Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died! At this point, the judge brought the court room to silence, called both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt."

Bus Crap Showers Boat Tourists Xposed, August 2004 By LISA SCHENCKER Associated Press Writer CHICAGO Chicago Police said Monday they were investigating a foul-smelling gunk that showered tourists taking a boat tour of the city. Witnesses on the Chicago's Little Lady architecture tour Sunday afternoon saw a large black tour bus dumping liquid waste as their boat cruised under the Kinzie Street bridge on the Chicago River, said Anita Pedersen, spokeswoman for the tour boat company. More than 100 passengers were on the boat when the waste poured onto the upper, open deck. "I can only presume that perhaps it's human waste. There was a very strong smell to it," Pedersen said. Police spokesman Carlos Herrera said police were investigating how the passengers came to be covered by the mess and exactly what it was. Pedersen said some boat passengers wrote down partial license plate numbers of the bus. After the incident, the boat's captain turned the vessel around so passengers could return to the dock. They all got refunds, Pedersen said. The boat has since been cleaned with disinfectant. The Illinois Environmental Protection Agency and the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago also are investigating the matter, said Illinois EPA spokesman Rob Sulski. "We need to find out whether it was a deliberate matter or an accident," Sulski said. Water reclamation district spokesman Lou Kollias said they had little information Monday about the incident. Lynn Osmond, president and CEO the Chicago Architecture Foundation, which runs the tour boats along with the boat's owner, said nothing like this has ever happened before. "I think this is a fluke and everybody understands that," Osmond said. "This is the Chicago River that we all respect and love, and hopefully this is something that will not be left to happen again xposed.com

Around The Weird: Bizarre News Briefs SEATTLE (Wireless Flash) -- Seattle-area police have arrested a man they believe may be the serial food burglar who has gobbled his way through 11 homes since August 3. During the most recent stomach spree, the accused man consumed a box of Creamsicles, six shrimp kabobs, 12 mini corndogs, half a container of lunch meat, two juices, one glass of milk, 12 chunks of cookie dough and several handfuls of M&Ms in a 15-minute period, reports the "Seattle Times." FUERTH, Germany -- Pretending you're a drug dealer is a really bad way to pick up chicks. That's the lesson one German man learned after faking a crime in hopes that he'd be arrested by a female officer he has a crush on. The 23-year-old phoned police and gave them his own license plate number as the number of a drug dealer's getaway car. He was foiled in his attempt, however: The object of his desire wasn't among the six cars of police who chased him down. Ananova.com reports the man now faces charges of faking a crime and abusing an emergency hotline. BRUSSELS, Belgium -- A cat which crept into the cockpit of an SN Brussels flight Monday traveling from Brussels to Vienna attacked the co-pilot, forcing the crew to make an emergency landing according to the airline. It was 20 minutes after take-off when the cat escaped from its carrier. A release from the airline said the agitated cat must have ran into the cockpit during meal service, where it scratched the co-pilot's arm. LONDON -- Does Christmas seem to come earlier every year? In London, Christmas came yesterday (Aug. 10) at Harrods department store, which unveiled its Christmas display almost five months before the holiday. The store also hired a Santa dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts to mark the occasion. ncbuy.com

Cats In The Cafe NEW YORK (Wireless Flash) -- There are more than two million pet cats in the city of New York -- but no place for their owners to take them out to eat. That is, until now: The first-ever "cat cafe" will open in Manhattan next week, offering a menu for both felines and their human pals. When the Meow Mix Cafe opens its doors August 17, pussycats will be able to tuck in to a variety of vittles while their owners enjoy comparable dishes. For example, while the kitty chews on her "Fillet Meow" of beef in gravy, her owner eats a beef tenderloin sandwich. Similarly, the menu offers crab cakes to owners whose pet decides to snack on "Upstream Dream," a cat food mix of salmon and crab in sauce. Four-legged customers at the 3500-square-foot cafe also get to try out scratching posts and catnip-filled toy mice. However, there are some ground rules: All cats must be on leashes so no catfights break out. If the Meow Mix Cafe is a success during its one-week trial run, Meow Mix plans to either open up a chain of cafes or create a mobile cat cafe to travel across the U.S. ncbuy.com

Trooper and Wife Sue Over Stripper Party By MARK SCOLFORO Associated Press Writer August 11, 2004, 12:32 AM EDT HARRISBURG, Pa. -- A state trooper and his wife have filed a federal lawsuit over his supervisors' investigation of a farewell party at a steak house featuring two strippers. Omar C. and Billie Shankle allege that as a result of the April 3 surprise party, the Kittanning-based trooper lost a transfer to a vice unit and he and his wife were both deprived of their First Amendment right to free expression. "Omar has a right to view exotic dancers at a private party in his honor where no laws were broken," according to the lawsuit filed Monday in Harrisburg federal court. Defendants include state police commissioner Jeffrey B. Miller and other officials. State police spokesman Jack Lewis declined comment. Shortly after the party, Billie Shankle wrote an anonymous letter to Miller criticizing the department, according to the suit. Omar Shankle disclosed to investigators that his wife wrote the letter. "Omar Shankle is being punished by the commissioner and his administration because his wife 'openly criticized him,'" the suit said, alleging the existence of a policy requiring subordinates to maintain loyalty to their higher-ups. The policy is known informally in the state police as the "Hitler rule," the suit said. In May, state police announced that they had cleared more than a dozen troopers of wrongdoing in connection with the party. The investigation found that there was no sex -- consensual or paid -- at the party. The suit said it was alcohol-free and that a bouncer maintained privacy. Don Bailey, the Shankles' lawyer, was out of the office and unavailable for comment, his office said Tuesday. No listed number for the Shankles could be found. Copyright © 2004, The Associated Press newsday.com

Four Arrested for Eating Family Member By Associated Press August 10, 2004, 8:56 PM EDT MANILA, Philippines -- Four members of a family have been arrested and charged with murder for allegedly killing and eating a relative during a wedding reception -- and serving his flesh to unwitting party guests, police said Tuesday. At the July 17 wedding of his daughter, Eladio Baule got angry with his cousin Benjie Ganay who tripped and accidentally touched the bride's bottom, said Senior Police Inspector Perla Bacuel, at Narra town in Palawan province, southwest of Manila. A few hours later, Baule, his son Gerald, another cousin Junnie Buyot and a nephew, Sabtuari Pique, allegedly confronted Ganay, then drove him to a secluded place where they stabbed him to death, Bacuel said. Buyot, who surrendered to police and is acting as a witness, told police they then roasted Ganay's body using coconut leaves and kerosene, Bacuel said. Baule senior later forced Buyot to take a bite of Ganay's flesh, which he claims he threw up but was then forced at knifepoint to swallow, Bacuel said. Buyot told police that the group returned to the party and served some of Ganay's cooked remains to guests who were still celebrating the wedding, Bacuel said. "It was perhaps due to their drunkenness. They probably didn't know what they were eating," he said. Buyot reported the incident several days later to a local village leader who took him to police. Pique also surrendered, and Baule and his son were arrested. Superintendent Rey Lanada, Palawan provincial police chief, said cannibalism would be treated as an aggravating circumstance in the crime. Copyright © 2004, The Associated Press newsday.com

Clown Not Laughing Over Stolen Truck 07:38 AM EST - August 10, 2004 The Associated Press ALTOONA, Iowa A clown isn't finding much to smile about after someone stole his clown car. Delmer Jefferson, drove the miniature, bright yellow tow truck in parades. But on July 5, someone stole the truck from a parking lot. "I'm heartbroken," said Jefferson, whose been a clown for the Shriners for more than 30 years. "I can't replace it. And it's not worth anything to anyone else. It's a clown car." Police Det. Jason Ferguson said the theft is under investigation. "This thing is so unique," Ferguson said. "What would anyone do with it?" --- Information from: The Des Moines Register, http://www.desmoinesregister.com desmoinesregister.com