movieguy

clapping

Okay.....let me warn all of you bbfree is the worse to get a free forum since friday night me and Scribblerpad has not be able to get into mine and his forum that he also has at bbfree it been down, even the support forum and the bbfree main site been down unless they are upgrading and didn't tell anyone (which i don't think they are!) il learn that they only got one server and if it down, it down in other word, a person who has a board with them is screwed until they get it all fix so visit my Brand new cool looking board and join in link to movieguy world forum

LOL...youth *sigh* Face Splat

He He he told me online that he post this at a old forum we use to belong to No Evil

Yup, Only do i know of a place that do some of this :blink:

PHILADELPHIA (Wireless Flash) -- John Kerry and George W. Bush might have some competition for president from a man who is 369 years old, carries a sword by his side and calls himself "Captain." The "Captain" in question is rum company icon Captain Morgan, who accepted the presidential nomination from Americans For A Better Party (AFBP) during the Democratic National Convention. The newly-formed political party was created because founders thought that politics were becoming too serious and wanted people to socialize in a real "party" atmosphere free from politics. Morgan's agenda differs just a little from Kerry and Bush. He says he would establish Mardi Gras as a national holiday, shorten the work week to four days and shorten the work day to 4 p.m. so people can make it to happy hour on time. The Captain admits that he likes his worthy opponents Kerry and Bush but wants to leave the politics to them and "...leave it to me for a relief from it." ncbuy.com

Fraternal Twin Delivers 2 Sets of Identical Twins on Her Birthday The Associated Press Published: Aug 14, 2004 WYNNEWOOD, Pa. (AP) - The odds of a fraternal twin giving birth to two sets of identical twins may be one in a million, but Geana Morris can attest to it. She delivered the quadruplets - two boys and two girls - on her 34th birthday at Lankenau Hospital. Mom and babies were doing well, hospital officials said Friday. "It's a very special 'birth' day for me," said Morris, herself a fraternal twin. Morris was implanted with two embryos in January, with the hope of carrying one to term. She and her husband, Kurt, also have a 2-year-old son. Dr. Andrew Gerson, who delivered the babies, put the odds of such an occurrence at about one in 1 million quadruplet births. Each of the newborns weighed between 2 and 3 pounds. Doctors hope the babies, who are receiving some help breathing, can be sent to their suburban Philadelphia home by the end of September, about a month before their mother's due date. AP-ES-08-14-04 0657EDT ap.tbo.co

Man bites liquor storeowner in robbery attempt New Paltz Town Police have arrested a Highland man on a charge of second-degree robbery. Police said that Davon Wilkins, 18, allegedly tried to steal liquor from New Paltz Win and Spirits Liquor store on Route 299 in New Paltz on Thursday, August 12. He was arrested on Friday, August 13. Police said Wilkins struggled with the storeowner while attempting to steal liquor and bit him on the hand before fleeing. The owner was treated on the scene by the New Paltz Rescue Squad. With the assistance of Town of Lloyd Police, Wilkins was located at his home Friday evening. He was arraigned and remanded to the Ulster County Jail in lieu of $2,000 bail. midhudson.com

Man stabbed in Monticello apartment Monticello Village Police have arrested two Virginia men after they allegedly broke into an apartment and stabbed an occupant. The incident occurred shortly before midnight on Thursday evening at 14 Carriage House Apartments on Shaker Heights Drive. Police said several persons had burst into the apartment after cutting a screen window. The suspects stabbed a 20-year-old Middletown man with a knife in his buttocks, causing the victim to sustain a severe laceration. The men then fled on foot through a wooded area to a bungalow colony on Dillon Road where one collapsed from a laceration to his arm he had sustained during the burglary. Officers arrested Rick Mclintock, 16, and Jason Lindsey, 20, of Richmond, Virginia, after witnesses identified them as two of the persons responsible for the stabbing. Both were charged with first-degree burglary and first-degree assault. Lindsay was also charged as being a fugitive from justice, wanted by the Henrico County Police Department in Virginia on an outstanding robbery warrant. The victim of the stabbing was treated and released at Catskill Regional medical Center. Both suspects were arraigned and committed to the Sullivan County Jail without bail. midhudson.com

You Know You're in California When... Your coworker has 8 body piercing and none are visible. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze. You can't remember...is pot illegal? You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula. You can't remember.....is pot illegal? A really great parking space can totally move you to tears. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag. You can't remember...is pot illegal? It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH." You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents. Both you AND your dog have therapists. You can't remember...... is pot illegal???????

Pianist's Monkey A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He sips it and sets it down. A monkey swings across the bar and pisses in the pint. The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies, "The piano player". The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey pissed in my beer?" The pianist replies, "No, but if you hum it I'll play it."

Revenge! A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

Man Drives Into Lake, Tries to Smoke Crack By Associated Press August 14, 2004, 5:46 AM EDT NORTH PATCHOGUE, N.Y. -- A police chase ended when a Long Island motorist drove into a backyard pond and tried to smoke a crack pipe just before his car sank, police said. Officers tried to stop Yasyn Abdul-Mattin, 32, after seeing him driving erratically at about 12:16 a.m. Friday, Suffolk County Police said. Instead of pulling over, Abdul-Mattin took off and went up a private driveway, continuing into a backyard pond, police said in a news release. Police said Abdul-Mattin refused to get out of the car and tried to light a crack pipe instead. Just before the car sank, he climbed out a rear window that an officer had broken, police said. Police said they were charging Abdul-Mattin, of Smithtown, with driving while impaired by drugs and several traffic violations. Copyright © 2004, The Associated Press newsday.com

Welcome Killer 2920 Hi-Ya

As a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing?" The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old,unmarried,and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone." The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the bedroom door. Opening the door he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, "Dad I'm thirty-five > >years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband! Please, go away and leave me alone." A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, Placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the family room. She entered that ar ea and observed her husband sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy. The wife asked, "What the hell are you doing?" The husband replied, "I'm watching the football game with my son-in-law."

Two Brothers who lives up in the hills never speak much they just do their own thing and never say a word to the other one they only speak about once a month if not two! one day they were a sittin on the front porch and the sun was shining brightly and the air was thick with the hottest day so far that year the oldest brother said, sure is hot today ain't it!? the other brother just sat and never said a thing! not another word for a month a month later the oldest walk in the house and see that his brother was packing a suitcase? so he spoke up, why are you a packing a suitcase? the other brother still packing his thing and putting them in the suitcase open his mouth and said there is too much complaining going on around her!

Tarzan and Jane One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said "Oh, I use hole in the trunk of tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong...but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said, "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?" "Me checking for bees" said Tarzan.

The Lumberyard Ben was working at the lumberyard one day, pushing a tree through the saw, when he accidentally cut off all of his fingers. He quickly ran down the street to the emergency room. The doctor quickly examined his hands and asked for the fingers. "I don't have the fingers." Ben gasped through his pain. "What do you mean you don't have the fingers? We aren't living in the Dark Ages here! I can reattach those fingers and you'd be as good as new! Why didn't you bring the fingers?" "Gosh, Doc!" Ben yelled sarcastically. "I guess I couldn't pick 'em up!"

Doggy-Mess Mystery Solved at Conn. Capitol By Associated Press August 13, 2004, 4:24 PM EDT HARTFORD, Conn. -- A state Senate leader says he has the scoop on the poop in the state Capitol. Senate Republican leader Louis DeLuca told reporters Thursday that he had a surveillance videotape proving that Democratic state Sen. Edith Prague's dog left a surprise in the Public Safety Committee room last week. Prague, who's from Columbia, Conn., initially denied that her dog, Molly the Shih Tzu, was the culprit, and she blamed a seeing eye dog belonging to a worker in DeLuca's office. After seeing the tape, Prague was stunned. "I said, 'Oh my God! It is my dog, and I won't bring her in anymore,'" said Prague, who had been asked before to stop bringing her dog into the Capitol. Then she said DeLuca might have more important things to worry about. DeLuca, of Woodbury, said he felt he had to make the tape public because Prague was blaming a blind person. "It's a shameless thing to blame a sightless person with a seeing eye dog when you know it was your own," he said. Capitol police watched the videotape, which shows Prague's dog making an unaccompanied visit to the committee room. "Modern technology is wonderful," DeLuca said. "It shows the dog in the room that day -- not doing the deed, but in the room." Capitol Police Chief Bill Morgan said his office handles such situations diplomatically. "When we find there are people who violate the rules, we try to correct the problem," he said, without offering any details on the matter. * __ Information from: The Hartford Courant, http://www.ctnow.com/ Copyright © 2004, The Associated Press newsday.com

Police hunt gorilla-suited prankster Austrian police are hunting a person wearing a gorilla suit who has been terrorising pensioners by leaping out of bushes on narrow rural paths. The 'gorilla' has appeared several times on paths near the towns of St. Margarethen, Rust and Oggau in Austria. Ten sightings have been reported to the police so far, and the mysterious gorilla has become the number-one topic of conversation in the area. "This can't be a normal person," said Gunther Seelinger, 68, who had seen the gorilla. "He must be certifiably mad." "It's really horrifying when a gorilla suddenly jumps out in front of you," said another pensioner. Others think teenagers are behind the prank, daring each other to dress as a gorilla and frighten people. "We don't see the gorilla on really hot days," said Ide Doringer, 67, adding "It must be really hot inside that suit." ananova.com

'Hard-working' job ad banned to protect the lazy A businesswoman has been banned from asking for 'hard-working' staff in a job ad because it discriminates against the lazy. Beryl King was told by a Jobcentre that her advert for warehouse workers discriminated against people who were not industrious. Beryl, 57, told the Daily Mirror: "I couldn't believe my ears. Has our world gone mad? "I've been running my business for 27 years and it's getting harder to find people who want to do a fair day's work for a fair day's pay. "How long before someone says you can't pay people for working because it discriminates against those on benefit who are paid for not working?" Beryl, who owns two job agencies in Totton, Hants, offered £5.42 an hour for "warehouse packers who must be hard-working and reliable". The Southampton Jobcentre is investigating. A spokesman said: "Words such as 'hardworking' can be accepted if used with a clear job description." ananova.com

Politicians Who Run Our Country Here are some observations about the politicians who run our country. They are from a Washington, D.C.travel agent with 30 years experience. Should we be worried about some of the people running our country? I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. I got a call from a Candidate's Staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... (click). A Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!!!" I got a call from a Lawmakers Wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map." An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that! A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that is very rude." After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I actually was laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage. A Senator's Aide called in inquiring about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?" I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them A Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever!!" A Senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!" A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal", she admitted

Official Announcement Official Announcement: The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed. Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that."

Bugs bun-fire in shed By HARRIET ARKELL A RABBIT whose tail caught fire as it hid in a bonfire raced into a cricket hut and BURNED it down. The £60,000 blaze wrecked the hut and equipment inside. The volunteer gardener who lit the fire at Devizes Cricket Club in Wiltshire spotted the blazing rabbit dashing into the WOODEN groundsman’s hut. He ran to find it but the bunny had disappeared. Half an hour later he saw smoke seeping out of the hut. After the blaze there was no sign of the bunny’s body and club members were left wondering if it had hopped to safety. Committee member Richard Read said: “If the rabbit did die, he’s probably chewing a carrot in heaven.” Culprit ... rabbit Fire station manager Pip Flowers, 41, said: “We couldn’t find a body, but the corner of the hut was so charred, it may have disappeared without trace. “On the other hand, we did find a hole it may have escaped through.” Now the club are appealing for donations to replace their lost equipment. sun.com.uk

Woman Sent to Jail for Smoking Near Kids By Associated Press August 13, 2004, 12:18 AM EDT BOWLING GREEN, Va. -- A woman was sentenced Thursday to 10 days in jail for defying a court order not to smoke around her children. Tamara Silvius was banned last year from smoking around the youths, now ages 8 and 10, as part of a custody arrangement with her EX-husband. She allegedly violated the order during a trip to South Carolina for Thanksgiving. For that, Silvius was fined $500 and was given a 10-day suspended sentence on the condition she not do it again. But Silvius was back in court Thursday for violating the order a second time in June. Silvius, a pack-a-day smoker, claims the restriction violates her rights. A judge upheld the order in January, citing medical evidence of the effects of secondhand smoke on children. Silvius has appealed to the Virginia Court of Appeals. Mark A. Murphy, an attorney representing the children's father, noted that Silvius is free to smoke on days when the children are not with her. Copyright © 2004, The Associated Press newsday.com